When Saying Goodbye
by scorpiowarrior
Summary: Kakashi is in love with Kurenai and so is she. But she has a secret that she doesn't want to reveal especially to Kakashi and only Asuma is the one who knows about it. Is their love strong enough to endure it? KakaKure. R&R please
1. Painting Lesson

Hey there! I'm back ^_^ this is my new fic and I hope you'll like it.

Note: the narrations are written in Kakashi's POV, and he's 29.

Oh and by the way I do not own Naruto.

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_What is love? that's probably the most difficult question for the mankind. To some people, love is friendship set on fire, and what is friendship? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. For others love is like luck, you have to go all the way to find it. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. It bonds people together and connects them in a unified link of trust, __intimacy and interdependence. Love means intimacy. Love means commitment. Love means passion. It lifts us where we belong. Someone would say that it's like a violin, the music may stop playing, but the strings remains forever. For me, love is a feeling that words cannot explain, everyone can tell you what love is, but not everyone is so lucky to experience this blissful feeling. But whatever is the meaning of love, it should be experienced and not just felt, just like I did. _

_I'm nothing special, just a common man with common thoughts. I've experienced the pain of losing the one you love, the pain of losing the one you care about, the pain of losing someone important. And when I thought that I'll never be able to open up to anyone else, when I've promised to myself that I'll never let anyone in, I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and that one was Kurenai Yuhi. I think that I've always loved her from the very first time when I met her, but I haven't realized that just until recently._

it was a normal afternoon in Konoha, and Kakashi as usual was training with his team in the training field. After finishing the training he went straight to Kurenai's house to pay her a visit as he didn't see her the whole day, and after asking her team he found out the she had a day off and stayed in her house. Kakashi got worried that maybe she was sick, so on his way to her house, he stepped by the Yamanka flower shop and bought for her a single red tulip, not because he was cheap, but he knew that Kurenai preferred single flowers than a whole bouquet, well at least that's what Hinata told him. After buying the flower, he made his way to Kurenai's and after he got there he knocked on the door and waited until the door opened reveling Asuma in the doorway

"oh hi Kakashi! what's up!" greeted Asuma with a smile

_Asuma Sarutobi, Kurenai's best friend and roommate. I remember the times when I was jealous, thinking that there was something going on between him and Kurenai, but could anyone blame me? a man living in the same place with the love of my life, always seeing them together doing random stuff, I couldn't do anything but to be jealous. I felt so much relieved when I found out that they are just close friends. Very close friends. That was Kurenai's version though, I never heard Asuma's, but honestly I really didn't care. _

"hi Asuma, I'm fine" replied Kakashi in his usual lazy tone

"you're probably here for Kurenai" said Asuma

"…y..yeah…I haven't seen her today and I thought of pa-" his words were cut off by Kurenai's voice calling from inside

"who is it Asuma?"

"you have a guest" said Asuma smirking before he stepped inside and Kurenai appeared in the doorway to welcome her guest

"oh hi Kakashi"

_And there she was, standing in the doorway, looking at me with those beautiful crimson eyes, smiling at me with her breath taking smile. Each time I see her I find myself unable to breath, my heart pounds harder in my chest, my tongue goes numb and my knees weak as I search for the right words inside my head, but words keep slipping away. And I don't know why I always feel so nervous around her, and I know that she can see my hands shaking a little as I try to hide them in my silver hair, I have so many of them on my head at least they are useful for something. _

"hey Kurenai" replied Kakashi rubbing his head "…t….this…is for you" he said handing the flower to Kurenai

"ohh thank you Kakashi, it's so sweet of you" replied Kurenai with a smile "please, come in"

Kakashi smiled back and stepped into her house "so…how are you? is everything ok?" he asked as he came to sit on the couch in her living room

"yeah"

"are you sure?"

"yeah, why are you asking?"

"..I…..I just haven't seen you today, and when I asked your team they told me that you took a day off, so I thought that maybe you got a cold or something"

"no Kakashi, I'm not sick" replied Kurenai with a smile "but thank you for asking"

Kakashi than looked at Kurenai who was wearing a black apron on herself that was covered in paint "I see that you're busy, maybe I should go"

Kurenai glanced at herself before she looked at Kakashi "no stay, I'm not busy, I was just painting"

"the walls?? Because it doesn't look like you did anything" asked Kakashi looking around

"no baka, I was painting a portrait"

"oh I see"

"wanna see it?"

"sure" replied Kakashi with a smile

"come with me" she said as Kakashi stood up and followed her to her room.

As he entered her room he took a quick glance around it. Everything was clean and tied up. A queen sized bed occupied the center of the room. There was a desk right under the window and a painting board placed on a wooden easel that was standing next to the window in the corner of her room. On one of the walls there was a small bookcase full of books about art, architecture, culture, and science. Also the world's map was hanging on one of the walls, with marked places, which Kakashi thought that these places are probably the ones that Kurenai wants to see. But what caught his eye was a board that was hanging on the wall right above the head of her bed that was full with pictures of her with Asuma and her team, and many other people that Kakashi recognized from the village, there was even a picture of the late Hiruzen Sarutobi, as well as the picture of the fifth hokage Tsunade.

"I still don't have your picture" Kurenai spoke softly

Kakashi looked away from the board and returned his attention to Kurenai "and for what do you want my picture?" he asked smiling

"duh, to hang it here with the other pics" answered Kurenai

"but I'm not anything pleasant to look at"

"don't say that Kakashi, you're ho-….very good looking guy" replied Kurenai slightly blushing

_"was she going to say that I'm hot?" _thought Kakashi feeling his cheeks going red "…t..thank you Kurenai….." he replied nervously rubbing his head

"so…what do you think?" she asked pointing at her painting

Kakashi looked at the painting board, and couldn't do anything but just to be amazed at how she was good at it. It was a painting of a beautiful white horse proudly walking on the beach "wow Kurenai, this is….amazing"

"do you really think so?"

"yeah, I never knew that you're an artist" said Kakashi smiling as he looked back at Kurenai "and a very good one"

"thank you Kakashi" replied Kurenai with a smile "I love painting and drawing"

"and horses?"

"yeah, horses too. What about you?"

"what about me?" he asked confused

"have you ever tried painting?" she asked

"no, I'm rather very bad at this"

"I'm sure you're not that bad"

"no really, I'm very bad at this"

"well I guess we have to find out" said Kurenai smirking when she made her way to her desk and took out another painting board

"…what are you doing?" asked Kakashi eyeing Kurenai placing the new painting board on the easel

"I want to see how bad you are in this"

"so you can make fun of me afterwards? No thanks"

"oh c'mon Kakashi, I'm sure that you're not as bad as Asuma" she said grinning as she walked towards Kakashi

"no, really I ca-"

"no buts" replied Kurenai grabbing his hand and dragged him to the easel

"Kurenai"

"here take this" she said handing to him a thin painting brush

Kakashi took the brush in his right hand and stood in the front of the easel with his left hand inside his pocket "and then?" he asked

Kurenai grabbed the palette full of colors and hold it in the front of Kakashi "now pick a color"

Kakashi looked at the palette and thought for a while before he dipped his brush in the red color "my favorite" he said with a smile looking at Kurenai making her blush "what's next?" he asked

"a 2 year old will know this, just draw something" she replied smiling looking away trying to hide her red cheeks

"like what?"

"since you said that you're so bad at this, let us pick something easy, like….." she paused a little as she thought "a butterfly"

"ok" replied Kakashi lazily as he made his attention towards the board and started to paint

Kurenai noticed that he was pressing too hard on the brush just like a 2 year old kid will do, she couldn't help but to chuckle slightly before saying "don't press that hard Kakashi"

"I've warned you that I'm bad at this" replied Kakashi

"first of all take your hand out of your pocket" she said before she placed her hand on his, gently putting it in her grip correcting the way he was holding the brush "gentle, long strokes, like this" she added moving her hand along with his on the board

_Badum, badum, my heart's beating. Beating faster as I fell her warm touch on my hand, and I curse myself for wearing these stupid gloves that are separating my skin from hers. I was more concentrated on her hand on mine than in the whole painting thing. I watched her absentmindedly from the corner of my right eye that was closer to her beautiful, angelic face. Badum, badum, my heart keeps beating, and I can hear the beating in my ears, and I want to ask her, do you hear that too? Do you hear my hart beating for you?. I see her saying something, but I can't hear anything. All I can hear is the loud beating of my heart, and all I can see is her beautiful red lips saying something that I don't understand. My mind is shut in its' own reality, where there's no one around but her. I want to say 'I love you', but I can't as I bite my lower lip under my mask. The mask is the only thing that stops me from kissing her right now. To take these sweet lips in a long embrace, that will say instead of words that I'm not just a friend, that I don't want to be just a friend. _

"see, there you are" spoke Kurenai waking Kakashi out of his daze and back into the reality

"huh?"

"you're not that bad after all, look you did it" she said smiling not taking her gaze away from the board, taking her hand away from Kakashi's

Kakashi returned his gaze to the painting board to see that the butterfly is already finished, and to his surprise it was even good, probably just because it was Kurenai who moved the brush all the time as Kakashi was lost in his own thoughts.

"I'm a good teacher am I?" she said with a smug as she looked back at Kakashi

"the best I ever had" replied Kakashi with a smile placing the brush down on her desk "well, thank you for the lesson sensei, I should go now"

"that early?"

"I have some paper work which I should've finished yesterday, which reminds me that Tsunade sama will kill me if I'll not finish this today" he said lazily as he slowly walked towards the front door with Kurenai walking next to him

"oh, I see. You know where to find me if you'll need some help with that" she replied smiling as Kakashi stepped outside her house

"thanks Kurenai "

"and one more thing, I still want your picture"

"I'll see what I can do about this. And can I count on having another painting lesson, sensei?"

"anytime" replied Kurenai with a smile

Then a silent went between the two as they stood on the front porch, looking at each other smiling, and it was Kakashi who broke the silence "um….Kurenai?"

"yes?"

"…….are…you…. free tomorrow evening?" he asked nervously rubbing his head

"yeah, why?"

"couz I thought that….maybe……we can have some ramen together..you know as my thanks for today's lesson, how about it?"

"sure" replied Kurenai smiling

"that's great. Well…..I have to go now…..bye"

"…bye" replied Kurenai before Kakashi walked away, she sighed happily as she stepped inside shutting the door behind her just to see Asuma, standing in the front of her with a disappointed look "Asuma, stop giving me this look" she said angrily

"Kurenai…don't give him hope"

"it's just ramen Asuma, nothing else"

"you know that when he'll find out tha-"

"if he will ever find out. Asuma promise me that you'll keep your mouth shut"

"but-"

"promise!" she said with authority

"I promise" replied Asuma sighing

"thank you. now excuse me I have to finish my painting" she spoke softly before she made her way towards her bedroom.

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That's all for the first chapter. Hope you liked it. Review please ^_^


	2. Photo Album

_We might never know what tomorrow can bring. We might never know how things can turn out, and how life can take a new meaning in blink of an eye. I never thought that that day will change my life forever. It's where everything started. When our journey begun. It was supposed to be just ramen and nothing else, but I guess that god had other plans for me that day. _

The next evening, Kakashi went to pick up Kurenai to go and have their ramen together. He knew that it wasn't a date, but somehow he felt excited about it. He could feel his heart starting to pound as he got closer to her house, and with each step he took he felt his heart pounding faster and faster until he reached the house and stood on the front porch _"Kakashi, calm down you moron!" _he said to himself as he took a deep breath and knocked on the door and after awhile the door opened reveling Kurenai dressed in her usual ninja outfit

"hey Kakashi" she greeted with a smile stepping outside shutting the door behind her

_And again I found myself breathless as I stood in the front of her studying her beautiful features. Badum, badum, my heart starts singing, can you hear it Kurenai? can you hear my heart calling out for you? My tongue is tied again, and I search for the right words to say. I should just say hi, sounds simple, but I can't choke it out, I can't as I'm getting lost in her beautiful crimson eyes. She blinks and I come back to reality. I breathe out and finally, somehow I managed my tongue to move._

"hey, ready?" asked Kakashi smiling

"ready, it's your treat right"

"right"

"let's go then" replied Kurenai as she and Kakashi walked together towards Ichiraku's

_My heart didn't stop pounding as we walked through the streets, side by side. I wanted to fold my arm around her and pull her closer to me. I wanted to whisper the words 'I love you' in her beautiful ear. I wanted to take her hand in mine and tell her how much she means to me. But instead I kept my hands hidden inside my pockets, and just watched her from the corner of my eye._

The two finally arrived at Ichiraku's and took their seats next to each other and ordered their ramen. Kurenai was excited the whole time by the fact that she will actually see Kakashi's face _"this is it" _she thought to herself eyeing him from the corner of her eye, waiting for him to take off his mask. She couldn't stop thinking about _"how does he really look like? is he handsome? Gorgeous? is he ugly? maybe his face is deformed? _" Whatever he was hiding behind his mask, she was going to get her answer.

"here you go" said Teuchi placing the bowls in the front of them

"the barbequed pork is on the house" spoke Ayame cheerfully

Boom, badum, boom, badum, Kurenai's heart pounded like crazy at the thought of seeing Kakashi's face _"oh my god, oh my god" _she thought as Kakashi placed his hand on his mask and started lowering it down, she even didn't get a chance to see his nose when she heard someone calling her name

"SENSEI!!!!!" yelled Kiba from behind

_"damn it Kiba" _cursed Kurenai as she moved her head towards her student "what is it Kiba?"

"are you having a date?" he asked with a grin

Kurenai slightly blushed at her student's question "no, it's not a date Kiba" she replied calmly "is that what you wanted to ask?"

"yeah, oh and just don't forget that you've promised me that you'll train with me tomorrow"

"I won't, now anything else?"

"nope, have a nice 'date' sensei" said Kiba grinning causing her to blush

"it's not a date" replied Kurenai

"whatever" shrugged Kiba "bye"  
"bye" replied Kurenai quickly returning her attention towards Kakashi

"ahh, that was delicious"

Kurenai's jaw dropped at the sight of Kakashi wearing his mask again "you…already ate?" she asked in disbelieve

"yeah" replied Kakashi smiling "is something wrong?"

"…n..no, not at all" she replied before she begun to eat _"that's just great" _

After she finished eating, Kakashi paid the bill and the two had a walk around the village. The darkness had fell and the moon welcomed in the dark sky, hugging the streets with its' silver light that lightened the way.

_We walked through the streets with no destination in our minds, chatting and laughing. Well basically she was the one who was talking, while I just stayed silent enjoying her company. Not that I didn't have anything to say, I just didn't want to say anything stupid, I'm always trying to be so perfect around her, I don't know why but I just do, and I can't explain it….if I just could say what I want to say….to say how I feel inside, but I stutter or just stay silent, wondering what are her feelings towards me. _

"thank you for the meal" spoke Kurenai softly with a smile across her face

"you're welcome" replied Kakashi when a boy bumped into him and fell to the ground

"ouch" cried out the black haired boy holding his knee

"are you ok kid?" asked Kakashi

"…I..guess…so" replied the boy as he tried to stand up but he stumbled and fell to the ground again

"let me take a look at this" said Kureani noticing a cut on his knee, she kneeled in the front of the boy and placed her hand on his cut, then pulsed her chakra into it. Kakashi as well as the boy watched in amazement at what Kurenai was doing. After about a minute Kurenai took her hand away and looked at the boy smiling "there"

The boy looked at his knee and at the cut that was no longer there "cool" he said as he stood to his feet "thank you miss"

"you're welcome" replied Kurenai smiling rising to her full height

"shouldn't you be in bed by now kid?" asked Kakashi

"I'm not a kid, I'm a man" answered the boy proudly

Kurenai slightly chuckled before asking "and how old are you?"

"I'm 11"

"ohhh, you're right you're a man now" replied Kakashi sarcastically

The boy looked at the two jonins and noticed their forehead protectors "you two are ninjas?" he asked

"yes we are" answered Kakashi

"wait a minute, you're the copy ninja right?" asked the boy

"right"

"can I see your sharingan?"

Kakashi looked at the boy confused "why would you like to see my sharingan?" he asked rising his eyebrow

"duh, because it's so cool" replied the boy "can I see it?"

Kakashi rubbed his head not sure what to do

"he didn't ask you to take off your mask" said Kurenai chuckling

Kakashi looked at Kurenai before he returned his attention to the boy "ok" he said placing his hand on his headband lifting it up showing his left eye before he slowly opened it and reveled his sharingan

"..awesome" said the boy in amazement

"thanks…I guess" replied Kakashi before he slid his headband over his eye again

Then the boy looked at Kurenai, his cheeks slightly turning red as he spoke "and you're the most beautiful kunoichi I have ever seen"

"ohh thank you, you're very nice" replied Kurenai

"I'm just saying the truth" said the boy before he looked at Kakashi "isn't that right?"

"ah….y….yeah….you're right kid….she's…very…beautiful" replied Kakashi nervously looking away causing Kurenai to blush

"well, I have to go now. Thank you miss for healing my knee, bye" said the boy before he ran off

There was a silence between the two after the boy disappeared, they stood on the street, both blushing not looking at each other before Kakashi broke the silence "I didn't know that you know how to use medical ninjutsu"

"well, I know a little" replied Kurenai as the two started to walk again "I took a couple of lessons from Hinata. When I'm free, I like to go to the hospital and help to heal some minor injuries"

"I'm impressed. A genjutsu mistress and a fine doctor. What else?"

Kurenai chuckled before replaying "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever"

"huh?"

"Mohandas Gandhi" she said looking at Kakashi who had a puzzled expression on his face "the man who said that"

"haha….I…know" replied Kakashi nervously

"really! That's good. You know, it's really a shame that not everyone knows who Mohandas Gandhi is" replied Kurenai

"haha, yeah, haha"

_And I didn't know either, it was actually my first time when I learned that there's a guy out there by the name __Mohandas Gandhi__, well there was, apparently he died in 1948. Mohandas Gandhi __was the pre-eminent political and spiritual leader of __India__ during the __Indian independence movement__. He was the pioneer of __satyagraha__—resistance to __tyranny__ through mass __civil disobedience__, firmly founded upon __ahimsa__ or total __non-violence__—which led India to __independence__ and has inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world. Yes, that was Mohandas Gandhi, a great man who had a noble goal in his life. And what did he also say? '__A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble. Yes, I did lie to her, but it wasn't to please her, it wasn't to avoid troubles, but so she'll not think that I'm a total moron that is only interested in reading Icha-icha novels, which by the way I was. So after I walked her home, I went straight to the library and learned everything about the man called Mohandas Gandhi, and I just hoped that if she'll ever find out what I did, she'll remember one of his sayings 'Hate the sin, love the sinner'. Anyway, back to my story, where did I left…..oh yeah, when I lied to her about me knowing about this guy._

"you're the first jonin that knows who he is" said Kurenai

"…really?" asked Kakashi nervously

"yeah, whenever I talked to a jonin I know, everyone just looked at me puzzled like 'who are you talking about? " replied Kurenai chuckling

"hahaha, you're absolutely right Kurenai, it's really a shame that not everyone knows who Mo….Mo…Mohandas Gandhi is, hahaha" laughed Kakashi nervously trying his best to cover his lie _"I AM SO DEAD" _

"so….." Kurenai begun looking at him from the corner of her eye "have you brought for me your picture?"

"you still want it?"

"of course I do"

"well, that may be a problem, couz I don't have one"

"then we'll make one for you"

"that's another problem, couz I don't like to be photographed"

"you're no fun at all Kakashi, but I still have an idea"

"really? And what's that?"

Kurenai just smirked before replaying "c'mon, let's go" she said grabbing his hand and dashed towards the hokage's tower

"where are we going?" asked Kakashi confused when they stepped into the tower "don't tell me that we're going to take on a mission?"

"baka" chuckled Kurenai as she carefully walked through the hall "of course not, we're going to sneak to the secretariat"

"whoa! Hold on lady. We're going to get into troubles ya know"

"no we won't couz no one will notice" replied Kurenai as she entered the secretariat with Kakashi following behind

"what are we doing here in the first place?" asked Kakashi shutting the door behind him

Kurenai was eyeing one of the shelves, running her hand through it as if searching for something "we're here for that" she said with a smug as she took a big photo album from the shelve "Tsunade sama have hid this here" she added as she came to sit on the floor

"if she hid it that means that she didn't want anyone to see it" muttered Kakashi lazily as he came closer to Kurenai and took a seat next to her

"I'm sure that we'll find a picture for you here" she said as she opened the album

"how did you know that we'll find the album here?" asked Kakashi

"and from where do you think I have all the pictures?" asked Kurenai

"aha, so you're also a thief" replied Kakashi chuckling

Kurenai just gave him a smile before both of them scanned the first page of album "look, the first and second hokage" pointed Kurenai

"yeah. And look at the third, haha he's so young here"

"yup" replied Kurenai flipping the pages "and this is Tsunade and Jiraiya when they were still genins"

"along with Orochimaru, ugly as always" chuckled Kakashi

"he weren't that ugly back then, he's even kinda cute on this pic"

"you know what? You have a terrible taste in men Kurenai" chuckled Kakashi

"haha, very funny" replied Kurenai before she flipped the page again "look who we have here" she said cheerfully

"Minato sensei and my old team"

"how old were you on this pic?"

"about 13 I guess"

"you were sooo cute….not that you're not cute now" said Kurenai with a smile not taking her gaze away from the photo _"I can't believe I just said that" _

Kakashi blushed furiously under his mask after hearing Kurenai's comment "….t..thank you"

"now I'm definitely gonna take this one" said Kurenai pointing at the picture with Kakashi when he was just 5 years old

"oh no way"

"oh yes" replied Kurenai taking the picture out from the album "that was taken before your graduation right"

"I guess so" replied Kakashi scanning the second page "haha and I'm going to take this one" he added pointing at Kurenai's picture taken in the academy

"nooo, I look terrible in this"

"no you're not, you're very cute" replied Kakashi "how old were you here?"

"about 9, it was also taken before my graduation" replied Kurenai before her gaze lend upon Gai's picture in the academy "god! His eyebrows were as thick as they are today"

"if you can call them eyebrows" chuckled Kakashi

The two spent about an hour watching the photos until they reached the last page of the album "well, that for sure brought back memories" said Kurenai sighing gazing the closed album on her lap

"yeah" replied Kakashi softly before he looked at Kurenai, a silence went between the two as they sat next to each other on the floor. Kurenai felt Kakashi's gaze on her and slowly moved her head to see his masked face not so far from hers as he eyed her absentmindedly with his right eye. She could feel her heart pounding before she slowly moved her hand up to his mask. He stayed still, didn't move a muscle, like if he wanted her to do this, like if he wanted to show her his face. Since he didn't stop her, she slowly lowered his mask down to see a very handsome and beautiful face of Kakashi Hatake. She smiled widely before she moved his headband away from his left eye

"number 7" she spoke softly as she cupped his cheek in her hand

"what does number 7 mean?" he asked not taking his gaze away for her

"number 7 on my 'to do' list. See your face" she said with a smile

_My heart pounded like crazy by that time, her eyes upon my face. Her hand upon my cheek. Her being so close to me. Suddenly the world seemed such a perfect place. Suddenly it moved with such a perfect grace. When I'm with her I never want to leave. My heart longs for her, it always had and always will. She have given me so much without even knowing about it. She made me believe that my life wasn't such a waste, that I'm also worthy of love. I could just sit there and tell her how I feel, but it would have probably took ages as there are no words that can describe my true feelings. And besides, my ass was getting cold from sitting on the floor that by the way wasn't very comfortable, so I decided to skip this part and just go for a kiss that I hoped will say everything instead._

"and what do you think of it?" asked Kakashi as he moved his head closer to hers

Kurenai felt her heart pounding hard against her chest as his face became only inches away from hers, her hand still on his cheek, his both eyes glued on hers "I think that…. I must have…… a picture…. with you….. without……. your mask" answered Kurenai before she felt his lips on hers taking them in a warm, loving embrace. He backed only inches away and looked into her eyes, before he placed his hand behind her neck from under her long hair and gently pulled her closer for a long and tender kiss

"that's number 8" she said smiling with red cheeks after breaking the kiss

"and what is number 1?"

"I'll tell you some other day" she replied grinning

Kakashi just smiled before he leaned in for another soft kiss "c'mon, I'll walk you home"

_I couldn't believe it. She kissed me back! She didn't pull away and slap my face. She kissed me back. I was so happy back then. I never knew I could feel like this. Like I've never seen the sky before. Like I've never breathed before. Like if I was never alive. She was like a sudden flame; blazing and streaming into my heart keeping it alive. She was like oxygen, without her; I couldn't breath. and how I'm supposed to breath with no air? I walked her home, this time hand in hand. We stood on the front porch kissing goodnight .I don't know for how long, about 20 minutes maybe? But who cared. I just wanted to vanish inside her kiss while giving up all my loneliness I felt through the years. But I haven't told her yet that I love her. Why? I didn't know. I guess I was afraid that she's not feeling the same._

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Sorry for the late update, I know I used to update faster but I'm kinda busy lately. Big thanks for everyone who reviewed on my last chapter, I really appreciate this guys *hugs* Well, that's it for this chapter, hope you liked it. As usual review! ^_^


	3. Confessions

The next morning, Kurenai woke up and after a quick shower she made her way towards the kitchen. Asuma was already up and was preparing the breakfast when Kurenai stepped in

"good morning Asuma" greeted Kurenai cheerfully

"good morning" replied Asuma "someone is in a good mood today"

"I guess I am" replied Kurenai smiling before she took her seat by the table

Asuma served the breakfast and also took his seat oppositely to Kurenai, he then looked at her before he spoke "Kurenai…" he begun in a calm tone

"what is it?" asked Kurenai before she took a sip of her tea

"about yesterday…."

"Asuma, please…." Kurenai replied sighing "don't start this again"

"I know that you love him Kurenai"

"we're just friends Asuma"

"friends don't kiss each other like that"

"why do you actually care?!"

"because I don't want to see you hurt. Do you even plan on telling him that-"

"Asuma" Kurenai cut him off before she continued "telling him will only complicate everything"

"and what about him?! Have you thought about his feelings? Have you thought about how he'll feel when he'll find out?"

Kurenai went silent and looked down at her lap, she sighed heavily before replaying "I don't want to think about it right now"

"but Kurenai-"

"no Asuma! End of discussion!" growled Kurenai and stood up

"where are you going? You haven't eaten your breakfast"

"my team is waiting for me"

_When you think about how the human body is made, what do you see? Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. Two lips to kiss. But why only one heart? Because the other one was given to someone else for us to find. And I've found mine. I've found it in Kurenai. The closer I am to her, the happier I am. I just feel so alive when I'm with her. Just as Mohandas Gandhi said 'where there is love there is life'……hmm amazing, I still remember some of his sayings. To think that Kurenai unknowingly made me read something else than Icha Icha paradise. Ahem…anyway, I truly believe that what he said is true. Because that's how I felt. _

_It was already noon, and I was as usual watching over my team's training. But my mind was occupied by something, or more particularly by someone else. Yes, by the one and only Kurenai Yuhi. I didn't want to hide my feelings towards her anymore. It was finally the time to show to her that she's very special to me. That I love her. But I couldn't just bump at her and tell her 'hey I love you', although that would've been a lot easier, but no. I wanted to make this right, so I decided to invite Kurenai for a date…..gosh my first date….I'm 29 and a half and I haven't been on a date before, that's kinda……depressing or no, pathetic actually. But not as much pathetic as what I was going to do._

"umm….guys?!" Kakashi said nervously rubbing his head

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura who were having a sparring match stopped their fight and looked at their sensei "what is it Kakashi sensei?" asked Naruto

"I……umm….you see……"

Sakura noticed Kakashi's cheeks going slightly pink and wondered what could possibly caused that _"Kakashi sensei is blushing?? Ohhh that's so cute, but why?" _she thought when Kakashi finally cleared his throat and spoke

"boys if you were going to have a date……where….would you invite…your date?"

Everyone just looked at their sensei wide eyed "why are you asking?" asked Naruto

"…..f…for no reason" stuttered Kakashi

_"ahh, I'm sure it's about Kurenai sensei" _thought Sakura smirking. The young kunoichi wasn't stupid, and she have noticed the way Kakashi was acting around Kurenai. it was more than obvious to her that her sensei was feeling something for the genjustsu mistress.

"hmm……." Naruto thought for awhile rubbing his chin "I would take my date to Ichiraku's to have ramen"

_As I said, pathetic. Asking my own students for advice to where take my date. I should've known that Naruto will say ramen. This kid's life is all around ramen. Ramen for breakfast, ramen for brunch, ramen for lunch, ramen for dinner. Now I know what I should buy for his next birthday, do you know what I'm talking about? I'm sure you do. RAMEN! I just hoped that maybe Sasuke had a better idea._

"humph. Don't waste my time Kakashi on some stupid question. Let's just get back to training" grumbled Sasuke

_Wrong answer. And why I wasn't surprised? The Uchiha kid never had something to say. Naruto at least had his precious ramen, which after a second thought wasn't such a bad idea. But confessing my love for Kurenai at Ichiraku's wasn't very romantic. But there was still Sakura out there._

"if a boy were to ask me out, I'd like to go to have a romantic dinner" said Sakura cheerfully

"oh I see" replied Kakashi lazily acting like he didn't care "would you rather have a dinner with him at some fancy restaurant…or….maybe…..you'd rather have a dinner at his place?"

"it depends" spoke Sakura "but I think that Kurenai sensei will not mind to go to your apartment"

Kakashi's cheeks went thousands shades of red upon hearing what his student just said _"..h…how did she know????"_

"if you're a great cook of course" she added smiling

"are you planning to make out with her?" asked Naruto grinning causing Kakashi to blush harder

"…….a….hahaha" Kakashi laughed nervously "what makes you think that I have a date with Kurenai chan-aaa I mean san?"

"yesterday I was going to Ichiraku's to have my ramen when you and Kurenai sensei just came out" replied Naruto

"it was just ramen Naruto nothing else" replied Kakashi rubbing his head

"and I was going to Tsunade sama later at night when I saw the two of you walking hand in hand" spoke Sakura

"hahaha…….I….we…..you probably saw someone else Sakura" replied Kakashi

"and when I was coming back from my mission, I spotted the two of you on the front porch of her apartment kissing" said Sasuke grinning

"hahaha, ha ha…….I have to go" replied Kakashi nervously before he disappeared in a puff of smoke

"Sakura…" Naruto begun grinning

"yes Naruto"

"are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Naruto

"if you're thinking of what I'm thinking then yes, I'm thinking about what you're thinking" replied Sakura

"humph, this is stupid" muttered Sasuke

"so Sasuke you're also thinking of what the two of us are thinking" said Naruto

"if what I'm thinking is correct, that you two are thinking about the same thing that I'm thinking of, then don't think that I'm joining the two of you on what you two are thinking" replied Sasuke

"ohh c'mon Sasuke, it's going to be fun" said Naruto

"yeah! Join us Sasuke kun" spoke Sakura cheerfully

Sasuke just sighed before replaying "whatever"

"this time…" Naruto begun with determination

"we'll definitely see……" added Sakura

"KAKASHI SENSEI'S FACE!!" the two said in unison

_While I was planning for my date with Kurenai, my team was plotting something else. To see my face. I don't know why they are so obsessed with my face, it's just a face after all. A face with a nose, cheeks and lips, like any other face out there. But now back to my date with Kurenai. I've decided to invite Kurenai to my apartment for dinner. Now there was only one thing left. To invite Kurenai herself. By that time there was only one place where you could find my love, in her training spot along with her team, not so far from where I was training my own._

Kakashi dashed through the trees making his way towards Kurenai. And just as he thought, he found her training with her team in her usual spot. He leapt off the tree and walked closer to her

"hey" he greeted from behind

Kurenai turned around upon hearing Kakashi's voice "hey" she greeted happily with a smile

"how are you today?" he asked

"great. How about you?"

"good"

Team 8 also knew about their sensei's feelings for the silver haired jonin, Hinata was the first one to notice, and it was just a matter of time before Shino and Kiba also noticed that

"this is for you" said Kakashi handing a single red rose for Kurenai

"thank you" replied Kurenai smiling before she spotted Kiba in the front of her silently mouthing 'ohhhh' while placing his both hands on his heart

"I hope you are free for tonight"

"….I am…." replied Kurenai spotting Kiba this time mouthing the words 'I love you' which caused her to blush _"I'll kill you Kiba" _she thought to herself quickly returning her attention to Kakashi

"then I'm inviting you for a dinner tonight at my apartment….if you don't mind of course?"

"of course I don't mind"

"that's great…then I'll pick you up at 8"

"don't bother yourself Kakashi, I know where your apartment is, and it's not so far away from mine, so you just keep your eyes on the dinner"

"are you sure? Because it's not a trouble at all"

"yeah, I'm sure"

"ok, then…see ya at 8"

"bye"

"bye" replied Kakashi with a smile before he made his way towards Hinata "Hinata, can I talk to you for a second?"

Hinata blinked in surprise wondering what the copy ninja wanted from her, she nodded her head politely and followed Kakashi behind one of trees

"what do you think he wants form her?" asked Kiba confused looking at Shino

"who knows" replied Shino in his usual calm tone

"maybe he wants to tell her something about Naruto, but that's not our problem, back to training" spoke Kurenai with authority

_Hinata Hyuga. The eldest child of the Hyuga clan's leader Hiashi Hyuga. A kind and lovely girl. She's a little shy though and it's hard to get to her. But she has changed a lot during the past few years, and become a strong shinobi, and I hope that her father will finally open his eyes and see how great potential Hinata has. Everyone in the village despite Naruto knows that she has a strong feelings towards him. I guess that Naruto is just too dense to see it. But I hope that she'll find enough courage to tell him. Because what I've learned is when you love someone you say it. you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment….just passes you by. And it was the time when I should say it out loud. I wanted Kurenai to know that I love her, and I hoped that she's feeling the same way about me. I wanted everything to be perfect. Dinner tonight at 8…..that was the idea, but what's on dinner?? Ramen?? No way. I couldn't just go to Kurenai and ask her what she would like to eat, and since Hinata was so close to her, she was probably the only person who knew…..well Asuma probably also knew, but I didn't feel like asking him, so Hinata was my only option._

"so Hinata….." Kakashi begun rubbing his head

"what is it Kakashi sensei?" asked the girl politely

"…..do you know what's Kurenai's favorite meal?"

"favorite meal?"

"yeah…….I…I mean do you know what would Kurenai like to eat?"

Hinata thought for awhile before replaying "well…she likes a lot of things"

"like?"

"ramen, sushi, pasta, tsukemen, pizza…oh lately I heard her saying that she would like to eat couscous "

"cou..co what?" asked Kakashi confused

"couscous"

"oh I see. Well thank you Hinata, that's all what I wanted to ask. You can go back to your training"

Hianat nodded and returned back to her team leaving a very puzzled Kakashi _"couscous…how am I supposed to know how to cook couscous?!!!"_

It was almost 8 and Kurenai was on her way to Kakashi's apartment. She was wearing a black short skirt that fell to mid thigh length, and a Japanese-styled, sleeveless red shirt. After she finally reached his apartment she stood on the front porch and knocked on the door.

"Kurenai sensei for sure looks gorgeous tonight" whispered Naruto who was hiding in one of the trees close to Kakashi's apartment with his teammates Sakura and Sasuke

"yeah, I wonder if Kakashi sensei will greet her with or without his mask?" asked Sakura before she looked at Sasuke "by the way Sasuke kun, you said that you saw them kissing right?"

"yeah, and?" asked Sasuke

"well….that means that you saw Kakashi sensei's face right"

"no actually" replied Sasuke before he continued "he had his face buried in hers and I weren't paying any attention, so no, I didn't see his face"

"uh oh!! The door is opening!" exclaimed Naruto excitedly before the trio made their attention towards the door.

Kurenai didn't have to wait for too long before the door opened revealing a mask-less Kakashi, dressed in a dark blue shirt and a dress pants _"wow" _was all that came across Kurenai's mind. She never get a chance to see Kakashi in a formal outfit, and he was looking more than just gorgeous in it.

A dead silent went between the trio who watched wide eyed their sensei's face

"………."

"………."

"………."

"no way!!!"

"oh my god, oh my god"

"humph"

"so that's how he really looks like" said Naruto

"I never thought that Kakashi sensei could be so handsome" added Sakura

"hn" muttered Sasuke

"………."

"………."

"……….I'm off" said Sasuke before he leapt off the tree

"me too Sasuke kun"

"wait for me!!!"

"hey" greeted Kakashi with a smile letting Kurenai in "you look gorgeous"

"I was going to say the same thing about you" replied Kurenai stepping inside and kissed his cheek

"have a seat" said Kakashi as the two stepped into the living room. Kurenai sat on the couch while Kakashi returned to the kitchen. The apartment wasn't big, but it wasn't small either. Only a small dining table was dividing the living room from the kitchen, so Kurenai could actually see what Kakashi was doing in there

"do you need some help?!" she asked

"no thanks, it's almost done. You can sit by the table if you like" replied Kakashi with a smile

Kurenai nodded and stood to her feet. As she walked towards the table she noticed a small bookcase against one of the walls filled with Icha Icha series "do you really know who Mohandas Gandhi is?" asked Kurenai not taking her gaze away from the bookcase

"of course I do" replied Kakashi looking up. His eyes widened when he saw on what was Kurenai looking at "….w…why are….you asking?" he asked nervously _"shit! I forgot to hide the books in my room" _

Kurenai took one of his books in her hand and said while flipping the pages not looking at Kakashi "because I only see Icha icha books out here, and honestly I don't think that a fan of Icha Icha is interested in reading anything else"

_One point lost. That was bad, I should've confessed before she looked at my bookcase. Now even if she loved me she probably changed her mind. I jut hoped that she'll not notice the dvd's that were on the shelve right under my books._

"hahaha" laughed Kakashi nervously "appearances can be deceiving"

"is that so?" she asked in a playful tone as she placed the book in its' place

"yup"

Then Kurenai's gaze went to the second shelve "same goes for the dvd's?"

_Second point lost. Notes for the future: 1- keep your bookcase out of reach of your date. 2- if you can't keep your bookcase out of reach of your date, replace the books with ones that your date like ex: Mohandas Gandhi's Biography, Little Women, Romeo and Juliet, cooking books written by Rachel Ray, Martha Stewart and Nigella Lawson. 3- if you can't find any of these books, go to your teenage neighbor and borrow Harry Potter 's books from him, better if your date thinks that you're childish than that that you're perverted. 4- the same goes for the dvd's, never, ever place icha icha the movie on your bookcase, instead go to your teenage neighbor again and borrow from him any movie he has, unless he's watching teletabies, then your date will think that you're a perverted freak. 5- if your teenage neighbor turns out to be a prick and doesn't want to borrow you anything, use your biggest dog to scare him off. If that doesn't work, just sneak in and stole the stupid dvd's and books._

"I…..I just watched it once, and never ever watched it again" said Kakashi rubbing his head

"oh really?" asked Kurenai sarcastically looking at Kakashi grinning

"really"

_That was true. I only watched it once, why? Because I was too busy. Another note for the future: destroy the dvd's after watching._

Kakashi just continued rubbing his head nervously before he spoke "….d…dinner's ready"

Kurenai chuckled as she made her way towards the dining table and took her seat just before Kakashi placed the plates on the table

"here you go. A little loving from the oven, couscous!"

"wow! Did you made that?!" asked Kurenai

"..uh ….huh" stuttered Kakashi as he took his seat oppositely to Kurenai right after he lightened the candles and turned off the lights

"excuse me! what was that?"

"…making, buying…it's all a very thin line"

_Another point lost. I agree with Shikamaru here 'dating is way too troublesome'. _

The two had their dinner, and enjoyed their company together, talking and laughing about random stuff while drinking the wine in candles' light.

_I couldn't do anything but to stare into her beautiful crimson eyes. She was like spring; bringing out new life in me. Just when I thought that love could never be a part of me, she came along and showed me the true meaning of being happy. It was only one warm smile from her and little it cost in the giving but like morning light it scattered the night and made the world worth living. I'm totally drunk with joy and happiness when I'm with her. And since happiness is like a kiss; you have to share it to enjoy it. I decided to share it with her, and finally tell her how I feel._

Kakashi placed his hand on Kurenai's hand on the table and looked into her eyes with a smile. Kurenai could feel her heart starting to pound, feeling his warm touch on her hand. He smiled again and stood to his feet before he got closer to her and gently pulled her up taking her hands in his

"Kurenai….." Kakashi begun softly not taking his gaze away from her "I love you. I know you'll find it hard to believe me if I tell you now how much you mean to me. I could hardly understand what I feel for you, knowing how to endure those long sleepless nights just thinking only of you. I've never been like this before. I just don't know how to pour out my feelings for you. I wanted to find the perfect words to make you realize how much I need you and love you. every time I look at you, the words came out the same… I love you! and I just hope that you feel the sa-" Kakashi was cut off by her lips pressing against his, taking them in a long and tender kiss.

After awhile they broke the kiss, their faces still only inches away "I love you too….Kakashi" she said softly with a smile

Kakashi just smiled as he leaned in and kissed her tenderly, letting go of her hands that soon have been wrapped around his neck as he placed his on her waist pulling her closer as the kiss grew passionate with time.

_There is one moment in your life when you are with someone and you feel like the world has stopped and your life seems so perfect. And that's how it was. I just closed my eyes enjoying our lips being sealed. Enjoying our tongues brushing each other. And now I know why people close their eyes when they're kissing. Because the greatest things in life are unseen. And only our hearts can see what's invisible to the eye.__ Ancient lovers believed that a kiss would literally unite their souls, because the spirit was said to be carried in one's breath. And when I thought about it, I found it true._

The couple spent the rest of the night dancing, laughing and kissing and neither of them recognized that it was getting late. The two were sitting on the couch kissing each other passionately when Kurenai decided that it was the time to go home

"it's late, I should go" said Kurenai softly after breaking the kiss

"no stay" replied Kakashi leaning in for another passionate kiss

Kurenai broke the kiss again gasping for air before she said smiling "maybe some other time, it's past twelve now"

"so what?" replied Kakashi with a grin

"Asuma is probably worried about me, and besides I have a mission early in the morning" she said giving him a soft kiss and stood to her feat

"then I'll walk you home"

"ok"

Kakashi walked Kurenai home and after another 45 minutes of kissing goodnight at the front porch, Kurenai finally entered her apartment to find not so very happy Asuma sitting on the couch with his arms crossed

"it took you long to say goodnight" he said coldly

"shut up Asuma , I'm not in a mood to fight with you" replied Kurenai taking off her heals

"sorry" he replied "have you told him?"

"stop bugging me about this. I'm not going to tell him anything, and so do you" she growled "goodnight" she added before she made her way towards her bedroom

Asuma sighed as he threw himself on the couch _"I'm sorry Kurenai, but someone has to tell him the truth. And if you're not wiling to tell him anything I will" _

* * *

I'm a little disappointed in the number of reviews for the last chapter, I just hope you like the story so far. Thanks a lot for the little few people that reviewed, I really appreciate it. Well, that's it for this chapter, hope you liked it, please review ^_^


	4. Kurenai's 'to do' List

_Most people will spend their entire lives searching for a perfection that almost never exists. Most people will spend their days looking at each person they encountered with question as to whether or not they have found a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. And there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing beside you all along. And for me, that person was Kurenai. I felt like I've had so much love to give, and that it has been bottled up inside me for so long, and nobody has been interested to open up the bottle and look inside but her. She was what my entire life has led up to. My best friend. My love. My soul mate. She brought so much happiness to my life and fulfilled that love I have looked and searched for._

For the whole week Asuma was trying to talk to Kakashi about Kurenai, but he never really get a chance to talk to him. He got a mission that lasted for a couple of days and when he returned to the village he found out that Kakashi just went on a mission, so they just kept passing each other and Asuma was getting pretty frustrated. He thought that Kakashi has the right to know what Kurenai was hiding from him, and although he promised her that he'll keep his mouth shut, he couldn't stay silent.

It was an early afternoon, and after his wallet has been emptied by his student Choji in the barbeque bar, Asuma thought that the best thing will be to go home and have some rest since he didn't have any missions.

_I was returning from my mission that day, and I was very happy that I'll finally see Kurenai. It has been only a couple of days and I already missed her a lot. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. Her sweet voice. I missed every little thing about her. It was hard for me to concentrate on the mission as practically every moment of the day she was in my thoughts. When I arrived I went straight to the Yamanaka flower shop and bought a bouquet of white roses that consisted of 24 stalks, before I headed towards Kurenai's. Why white and why24 stalks? White roses symbolize innocence and purity, and that's how I see Kurenai. Pure and Innocent. While 24 stalks says 'I've missed you'. I just hoped that that old lady from Suna that told me that was telling the truth. Which by the way turned out to be a pickpocket who almost jacked my wallet. Geez! You can't trust anyone these days. _

Kakashi finally made it to Kurenai's house. Holding the bouquet in his hand he knocked on the door excitedly waiting for his love to open it. But instead of his crimson eyed beauty, a smoking Asuma appeared in the doorway

"Kakashi"

"hi Asuma…..is Kurenai home?" asked Kakashi

"no she's not. She has a mission I guess" replied Asuma

"oh I see…." said Kakashi in a bit disappointed tone "well I'll step by later"

"actually good that you're here. I need to talk to you"

"is everything ok?"

"come in first and have a seat" replied Asuma letting Kakashi in "will you drink something?" he asked

"no thank you" replied Kakashi before he sat on the couch "so..about what you want to talk about?"

"it's about Kurenai" replied Asuma in a serious tone as he stood with his back leaned against the wall

"did something happened to her?" asked Kakashi worriedly standing up to his feet

"no..well actually yes…kind of…you see I just think that there is something about her that you should know"

"what is it?!"

"….Kurenai…….Kurenai is-" Asuma was about to say everything when the front door opened revealing Kurenai

"Kakashi!!" exclaimed Kurenai happily as she entered her apartment and made her way towards Kakashi "I didn't expect to find you here" she said smiling

"I just came back from my mission and I wanted to see you" replied Kakashi

"weren't you on a mission yourself?" asked Asuma

"I did. And I also just came back" answered Kurenai before she spotted a bouquet of white roses on the coffee table "are those for me?" she asked smiling looking at Kakashi

"oh, I forgot. Here" he said handing the bouquet over to Kurenai

"thank you Kakashi" replied Kurenai while eyeing the bouquet "hmm interesting, 24 stalks"

Kakashi smirked under his mask "do you know what they symbolize?"

Kurenai just grinned as she placed the bouquet back on the coffee table and returned her attention to Kakashi, wrapping her arms around his neck before she slid his mask down his face and pulled him into a slow passionate kiss "I've missed you too" she said softly with a smile after breaking the kiss

_YES! The old and wrinkled lady was telling the truth after all. I was so happy to see Kurenai that I forgot about Asuma who was standing right next to us. _

Kakashi pulled away from Kurenai and returned his attention to Asuma "sorry Asuma, you were saying?"

Asuma looked at Kurenai "Kurenai has something to tell you" he said in a serious tone not taking his gaze away from the kunoichi

Kakashi got confused as he looked at Kurenai who had her gaze on Asuma "what is it?"

"nothing Kakashi, I don't know what is he talking about" she replied calmly giving her roommate an angry look

"I guess you know exactly what I am talking about" spoke Asuma

"mind your own business Asuma" growled Kurenai before she grabbed Kakashi's hand "let's go Kakashi" she added and walked out of the apartment along with Kakashi .

_I could feel that something was wrong. Asuma seemed very serious and Kurenai suddenly went angry. I wondered what could that be. Was he going to tell me that he and Kurenai are together? Was he going to tell me that she doesn't love me? or maybe it was something completely different? _

"Kurenai wait!" said Kakashi letting go of Kurenai's hand "what's wrong?"

Kurenai turned around to face him "there's nothing wrong Kakashi" she said

"don't lie to me. I know that there's something wrong"

"I'm not lying Kakashi. Everything is fine"

"if you have something to tell me just say it"

"why do you think that I have something to tell you?"

"that's what Asuma said. You don't love me anymore?"

"don't even say such a thing Kakashi. You know that I love you"

"then what is it?"

Kurenai sighed before she took Kakashi's hands in hers and spoke "look Kakashi, if something was wrong I'd have told you. and Asuma…..he's just overprotective"

"what do you mean by overprotective?"

"he's just afraid that I'll get hurt"

"you know that I'll never do anything to hurt you Kurenai"

"I know" replied Kurenai with a smile "that's why I got so mad"

"but he said that you have something to tell me"

"do you trust me Kakashi?"

"of course I do"

"then just drop it and forget about what he said" replied Kurenai

"but-"

"Kakashi"

"fine" sighed Kakashi looking to the ground

"but you know what? Maybe he wanted to tell you that I'm dying to have dumplings " she said smirking

Kakashi looked up at Kurenai and smiled "then let's go and have some dumplings"

_I wasn't satisfied by her answer. And I still wanted to talk to Asuma about it. Maybe she was telling the truth. Maybe everything was really ok. But what if it wasn't? I needed to talk to Asuma as soon as possible, but I decided to enjoy the rest of the day with her and talk to him tomorrow. _

The couple bought a full bag of dumplings and ate them together in the park as they sat on the tree branch. Kurenai swung her legs freely as Kakashi rested his head on her lap

"ahh, I'm stuffed. I think I'm gonna throw up" said Kakashi in a sleepy tone

Kurenai chuckled "and who told you to eat 20?"

"you challenged me remember? Who would've guessed that you'll eat 19"

Kurenai just giggled before she leaned in a gave him a soft kiss on the lips. She could still feel the sweet taste of dumplings on his lips which just made her want to kiss him more "I love you" she said with a smile before giving him another soft kiss

"I love you too" he replied smiling

"do you have a pen? She asked as she took out a piece of paper from her pocket

"nope. and what's that?"

"that's my 'to do' list" replied Kurenai

"and for what do you need the pen?"

"to cross out something" she said grinning before she took out her digital camera and quickly took a picture of Kakashi

"HEY!"

Kurenai giggled before she spoke "have a picture of Kakashi without his mask. Checked. Hehe"

"can I see the list?"

"sure" replied Kurenai handing to Kakashi her 'to do' list

Kakashi still had his head on Kurenai's lap as he scanned the list "let's see..see Kakashi's face"

"checked"

"find out if he's a good or a bad kisser?" said Kakashi rising his eyebrow

"checked" replied Kurenai grinning

"so what did you find out?" asked Kakashi playfully

Kurenai's grin went wider before she spoke in a playful tone "it's a secret"

Kakashi just smiled before he returned to read the list "have a tattoo"

"I'm still not very sure about this"

"force Asuma to quit smoking. That's impossible"

"don't say impossible. You'll see by yourself" replied Kurenai grinning

"have a workshop?"

"you know, for painting and drawing. I don't have enough space in my room"

"oh I see. Now that's interesting" said Kakashi grinning "find out what is so interesting in Icha Icha novels. Hehe that would be a problem"

"why?"

"because I'm not borrowing my books to anyone" replied Kakashi as he continued "have a puppy"

"I thought of having a Labrador"

"what color?"

"anything. But black once are cute"

"all puppies are cute"

"yeah. I forgot that you're an expert"

Kakashi just smiled and continued reading the list "ohh ho ho, have a hot night with Kakashi. I would love to help you with that" he said grinning

Kurenai blushed furiously "…..i..it's not what you think" she said quickly

Kakashi ignored her and continued reading "get Hinata and Naruto together. That's a challenge"

"are you going to help me with that?"

"sure"

"that's great! If you don't mind we can start now"

"fine with me" replied Kakashi as he came to sit on the branch "one question"

"yes"

"those are random things from your list that are numbered from 1 to about 30"

"yeah. And?"

"why number one is blank?"

"because I still haven't decided what it should be" replied Kurenai with a smile as she leapt off from the tree "c'mon, I have an idea"

Kakashi smiled before he slid his mask back on his face and leapt off the tree to join Kurenai.

_So I was going to help Kurenai with one of the things that were on her 'to do' list. The plan was simple. I was going to invite Naruto for a dinner to a fancy restaurant. To the same one where Kurenai will invite Hinata of course. But when I agreed for this plan, I didn't know that it'll cost me so much money. I wanted to act cool in the front of Kurenai so I offered her that I'll pay the restaurant's bill. Then when I went to invite Naruto, he told me that he can't go because he doesn't have formal clothes. So I had to buy him new clothes along with new shoes. But the worst thing was that when I opened my wallet to pay, it turned out that that old wrinkled hag jacked 200 ryos from my wallet. I still have no idea how did she do that? The copy ninja has been deceived by a 80 year old granny….no comment._

Naruto got dreesed in his formal clothes and went towards the restaurant to meet Kakashi along with his team. His sensei told him that they're going to discuss some important things, and because their last mission was a success, Tsunade arranged for them a dinner in a fancy restaurant as a reward. He was wearing a pair of black dress pants, a shirt and a jacket, and for the first time in his life he could tell that he looked very elegant. When he arrived at the restaurant, he headed towards the reception and spoke

"hey old man. I'm Naruto Uzumaki"

"oh you're here for the meeting right?" asked the man

"yeah" replied Naruto

"table no. 5. Come with me"

Hinata also get dressed in a formal red dress that Kurenai bought for her. It was the very first time when Hinata actually wore a dress. And everyone could tell that she looked gorgeous in it. Kurenai told her that they were going to celebrate the success of their last mission, and she also mentioned that she can be late. Hinata finally arrived at the restaurant and made her way towards the reception

"excuse me sir. I'm Hinata Hyuga"

"oh you're also here for the meeting right?" asked the man

"yes" replied Hinata politely

"table no.5. Come with me"

Meanwhile, Kakashi and Kurenai were spying on their students

"the two finally arrived" said Kakashi

"look at my Hinata. She's so beautiful today" spoke Kurenai

"do you think it'll work?" asked Kakashi

"well it should. If Naruto will just make the first move"

"you're right. Hinata is too shy, and Naruto is too dense"

"let's just watch" replied Kurenai as the two returned to watch.

Hinata made her way to the table and spotted Naruto in the restaurant. She felt her heart starting to pound when it turned out that he was sitting by the table number 5

"Hinata chan!!" greeted the blonde cheerfully "what are you doing here?"

"I…I…came here for the meeting" replied Hinata

"here miss, have a seat" said the man

"thank you" replied Hinata as she came to sit by the same table where Naruto was

"so you came here for a meeting. Me too" said Naruto "but I can see anyone from my team"

"me either" replied Hinata with red cheeks, keeping her gaze on her lap. She already figured out what her sensei plotted and could only blush harder at the thought of being with Naruto alone

"wow Hinata, you look gorgeous!"

"..t….thank you, Naruto kun" replied Hinata nervously turning as red as tomato

"can I have your orders?" said the waiter

Naruto looked at the waiter before saying "we still wait for the others"

"I don't know what are you talking about sir. I was informed to take your orders because the reservation was only for the two of you" replied the waiter

"…w..what?"

"that's going to take ages" muttered Kakashi

"well at least Naruto did complement her on her look" said Kurenai

The two continued spying for the next 2 hours, and the two lost their hope that something will happen between Naruto and Hinata. But then suddenly Naruto asked Hinata to dance, and while the two were dancing they've shared a kiss

"ohh look Kakashi. They've finally kissed" sighed Kurenai

"we should get paid for this" said Kakashi lazily

"Naruto kun…" Hinata begun softly after breaking the kiss

"yes Hinata?"

"I…..I love you"

Naruto smiled from ear to ear before he leaned in for a soft kiss "I love you too Hinata"

"ohh and they also confessed" sighed Kurenai "we're really good at this"

"yup we are" said Kakashi "now you can cross out another thing from your 'to do' list"

"yeah" replied Kurenai happily "let's have a walk"

_It was nice to see Naruto and Hinata finally together. Finally the two confessed their true feelings and I hoped that Sasuke and Sakura will do the same. Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. And no one realizes the beauty of love until you're caught in it. I spent the rest of the night walking around, hand in hand with Kurenai under the silver moon. We talked and laughed. Everything just seemed so perfect. We laid in the middle of the street watching the beautiful starts shining above us. Yes. We did lay in the middle of the street. But by that time it was empty. I know it was crazy. But when you're in love, it doesn't seem crazy. Nothing seems to be crazy. _

"I don't remember this being on your 'to do' list" said Kakashi as he laid next to Kurenai on the ground

"and do I have to write everything that I want to do in my 'to do' list?" asked Kurenai

"no. But you know, it would have been a lot more comfortable if we were gazing the stars while lying on the grass somewhere"

"I know" replied Kurenai "but the park is too far from here"

"what happens if a wagon comes?"

"we die" answered Kurenai before the two burst out laughing "and right now there's some fat guy over there that is staring at us"

Kakashi came to sit on the ground "want to go to my apartment to cross out another thing from your 'to do' list?" he asked grinning

"ha ha. Nice try Kakashi" replied Kurenai as she slowly came to sit on the ground, she placed her hand on Kakashi's mask and lowered it down before she leaned in for a long and passionate kiss "you better walk me home now" she said after breaking the kiss and stood to her feet

"why?" asked Kakashi

"because that fat guy from before is coming towards us and he doesn't look happy"

Kakashi looked behind to see that the guy was holding a bat in his hand "what a disgrace to my street! Go and get a room for this!!" the guy shouted angrily

"you're absolutely right Kurenai" said Kakashi as he quickly stood to his feet and ran away with Kurenai before the guy could reach them.

Kurenai finally made it to her apartment _"now time to talk to Asuma" _she thought stepping inside the living room to find Asuma watching a movie on the tv

"why did you do that?!" she asked angrily while standing in the front of Asuma

"Kurenai, I'm watching a movie"

"don't change the subject Asuma. You promised me that you'll keep your mouth shut!"

Asuma looked up at Kurenai before he turned off the tv with the remote control "I know that I've promised you. But he has the right to know"

"no he doesn't!"

"then why don't you just break up with him?!" growled Asuma as he stood to his feet "you know that it's not going to work because…….." then he suddenly went silent

"because what Asuma? Because sooner or later I'll die"

"…I'm….sorry Kurenai….I didn't mean it" spoke Asuma in a sad tone looking to the ground

Kurenai sighed before replying "it's ok Asuma. But that's exactly why I don't want to tell him anything. Because I don't want to see this look in his eyes"

"what look?" asked Asuma confused lifting his head up to look at Kurenai again

"…like if I was already dead" she answered softly

"Kurenai…that's not true..I just……"

"I understand. My mom died because of cancer. And I used to look at her just the same way. That's why……I don't want Kakashi to go through all of this. He'll just get worried and I don't want to do this for him. But I'm not dying yet. And I'm not willing to give up. Tsunade sama is trying her best and the new treatment seems to work" she spoke softly before she looked to the ground "everything just happened so fast. I was hiding my feelings towards him for so long, and I was waiting until I'll be all healthy again, you know to be cancer-free before I'll confess. But I never expected that one day he'll just….say these three words that I was waiting so long to hear" she finished and looked up at Asuma with wet eyes "for the first time in my life I'm truly happy Asuma. And I'm just afraid that if he'll find out, everything will change. I truly believe that I will recover. Tsunade sama also has high hopes for me. So why to bother him with my current condition?"

"maybe you're right Kurenai. But Tsunade sama isn't the only one who has high hopes for you. I also believe that you'll win this battle. I'm just worried about you. And if I were Kakashi I would rather like to know that you're sick. But it's your life after all, and if you don't want him to know then I won't say anything either" replied Asuma

Kurenai smiled and hugged her friend tight "thank you"

"you're welcome"

* * *

Now you all know what's Kurenai's secret. Thanks a lot to all who reviewed on the last chapter, you're truly the best *hugs* and I hope you enjoyed your camping misc ^_^

I hope you liked this chapter. Review please !! *puppy eyes*


	5. Asuma's Feelings and Kurenai's Birthday

_Honesty and Trust. One of the most important things in someone's relationship. I do trust Kurenai. But yesterday there was something about her that….I don't know but..it seemed as if she was hiding something. And although I have promised her that I'll let it go, something inside of me wanted to know. Wanted to be sure that everything was ok. Asuma…..he knew something, I wondered what was that? What was the thing that he wanted to tell me about her? Was he really just being overprotective like Kurenai said? Or was it something else? Just one way to find out._

Kakashi was going out for a mission, but before he went towards the gate, he made his way to Asuma's to have a small talk. He wasn't sure that he'll find him at home, but Asuma was known for his napping habits. And considering that it was 8 am in the morning, he was probably still at home. Kakashi finally made it to Asuma's apartment and knocked on the door. He waited for a couple of minutes but got no answer _"he's probably on a mission" _Kakashi thought and when he was about to turn around and walk away, the front door opened

"……oh..hi..Kakashi" greeted Asuma in a sleepy tone rubbing his eyes

"hi, I hope I didn't wake you up?" said Kakashi

"uh….kinda. But I had to get up anyway" replied Asuma with a yawn while stretching his arms over his head "but Kurenai is having a mission"

"I know" replied Kakashi "I want to talk with you. Can I come in?"

"….sure" replied Asuma confused letting Kakashi in "so what's up?"

"yesterday…..you-"

"forget about it"

"but you said that there's something with Kurenai that I should know"

"I did? Maybe you just got me wrong"

"I'm not stupid Asuma. I'm sure you wanted to tell me something"

Asuma sighed before replaying "look, I just……heard something…..and…I just got overprotective that's all"

Kakashi looked suspiciously at Asuma "what do you mean Asuma?"

"it's something stupid actually, don't bother yourself with it"

"if there's something that I need to know Asuma please…tell me"

Asuma was silent for awhile and just rubbed his head looking to the ground while thinking about what should he say

_**~Flashback~**_

_"I don't want to tell him anything. Because I don't want to see this look in his eyes"_

_"what look?" _

_"…like if I was already dead" _

……………………………………………………………………

_"I don't want Kakashi to go through all of this. He'll just get worried and I don't want to do this for him" _

……………………………………………………………………

_"I never expected that one day he'll just….say these three words that I was waiting so long to hear"_

……………………………………………………………………

_"for the first time in my life I'm truly happy Asuma. And I'm just afraid that if he'll find out, everything will change. I truly believe that I will recover. Tsunade sama also has high hopes for me. So why to bother him with my current condition?"_

_**~End Of Flashback~ **_

"so?? You don't have anything to say?" asked Kakashi

Asuma finally looked up at Kakashi and spoke "only that she's totally in love with you. Kakashi, she needs you more than you think, and don't you ever even try to turn your back on her"

"....I won't" replied Kakashi a little bit confused "why are you telling me this?"

"because………..because I…love her"

Kakashi's eyes widened upon hearing what Asuma just said "…you….what?"

"…I love her. But don't worry. I'm not going to fight for her. She has always been so in love with you, and I'm happy that it turned out that you feel the same way about her because you have no idea how happy she is right now. I have to admit that I am a little bit jealous. But who wouldn't be? She's a wonderful woman, but I guess you already know that"

Kakashi had a hard time in absorbing all what his comrade just said, and he didn't really know what should he think about it "I thought that….you are only…..very close friends"

"we are Kakashi. Don't worry, there's nothing between me and Kurenai"

"does….does she know that…you love her?"

"no. I never told her anything about my feelings" replied Asuma

"why?"

"because it would have complicated everything. We basically grew up together and became best friends. I secretly had a crush on her that quickly changed to love. But one day she came to me smiling, and told me that she's in love with a great jonin named Kakashi Hatake. I pretended to be happy for her, but my heart broke that day. I just…had to let go, because I knew that I already lost her, and that she'll never feel anything towards me besides friendship"

"….I..I don't know what to say"

"you don't have to say anything. And please, don't feel threatened by me, as I said, I'm not going to fight for her or anything. I already accepted everything and we're only good friends. You're a lucky guy Kakashi, so you better don't mess up" finished Asuma before he looked at the watch "oh crap, I'm so late. I'm sorry Kakashi but I have to go"

"oh…no problem. Thank you for being so honest" spoke Kakashi

Asuma just smiled before replaying "she loves you Kakashi more than anyone or anything else. So remember if you'll ever hurt her, I'll kill you with my bare hands"

"you don't have to worry about that" replied Kakashi with a smile "well….I have to go now. bye"

_That wasn't what I have expected at all. Asuma was in love with Kurenai. I didn't know what to think about it. But he seemed to be telling the truth when he said that he will not fight for her and that they are just friends. So I just believed him and decided to not think about it anymore, or rather tried to. Everyone has that one person that they truly love. The one that will always make you smile no matter how awful your day is. It's always that one particular person that's written all over your heart. And sometimes it's that one person that you know you'll never be able to love. it must have been hard for Asuma to go through all of this. And I could understand him a little because I was feeling the same thing when I thought that he and Kurenai were together. One of the most painful things in this world is when the one you love doesn't love you. Asuma was right. I am truly lucky. Lucky to have someone like Kurenai. _

_**1 week later **_

_It was the beginning of the beautiful summer. June the 11__th__…..her birthday. Kurenai's birthday. I have spent the whole week thinking about what would be a great gift for her. A book? A necklace? A fancy watch with a big bouquet of flowers? Or maybe a puppy? It was really hard to decide, because I wanted to give her something special. Something that she'll remember. Something that she'll really like and not will only force her to fake a smile on her face while thinking 'the worst thing I ever got'. Oh no. it had to be something special, and I finally came up with something. _

Kurenai woke up in the morning and when she made her way to the kitchen, Asuma greeted her cheerfully with a smile

"Happy Birthday!!!!"

"thank you Asuma" replied Kurenai smiling

"this is for you" said Asuma handing to Kurenai her present

"what's this?" she asked

"just open it"

Kurenai unpackaged the gift which turned out to be a book, her eyes flashed with happiness when she read the title "The adventures of Robinson Crusoe!!!" she exclaimed happily while eyeing the book

"your favorite isn't it?"

"yeah! I was looking everywhere to get this book! From where did you get it?"

"I have my ways" replied Asuma smiling "so do you like it?"

"are you kidding me? I love it. Thanks a lot bro" she said and gave her roommate a hug

_"bro…." _thought Asuma hugging back _"as I thought, I'll never be anything more than just a friend……I wonder what if…..maybe if she'll know my feelings then……" _his thoughts were cut off by Kurenai

"I wonder what Kakashi will bring me this year" said Kurenai after she backed away

"..huh?"

"you know he used to always bring me flowers, but now we're a couple and I'm just wondering what will he bring to me" said Kurenai cheerfully

"oh…..I'm sure....it'll be something nice" replied Asuma

"I can't wait to see him. I haven't seen him that much this week, and I kinda missed him"

"you saw him just yesterday"

"but only for a couple of minutes. Then he stormed somewhere saying that he's working on something" replied Kurenai "I'll better get dressed and go to meet my team"

Kurenai went to the training field to meet her team hoping that Kakashi will bump out on her way but to her surprise he didn't. She finally made it to the field and there met her team that greeted her cheerfully

"happy birthday sensei!" cheered both Kiba and Hinata in unison

"happy birthday" said Shino

"ohh thank you guys" replied Kurenai "Kiba, I'm surprised that you remembered?"

"well actually I forgot, but Hinata reminded me" answered Kiba rubbing his head

"ruff" barked Akamaru

Kiba looked at his dog before he looked back at his sensei "Akamaru too"

"ruff ruff"

"and he says happy birthday" said Kiba

"thank you Akamaru" said Kurenai with a smile

"HINATA CHAN!!!" yelled Naruto from behind

Hinata looked behind to see Naruto running in her direction with a big bouquet of flowers "I hope I'm not late" he said when he finally reached his girlfriend and kissed her cheek

"no, you're just in time" replied Hinata

Naruto looked at Kurenai and said cheerfully while handing to her the bouquet "happy birthday Kurenai sensei"

"oh thank you Naruto. Did Kakashi told you that today is my birthday?" asked Kurenai

"no. Actually he didn't say anything about it. Hinata told me and we decided to give you a gift" answered Naruto

"aha" nodded Hinata "here sensei, this is from me and from Naruto" she said handing to Kurenai a small box

"you really didn't have to. Why did you trouble yourselves?" said Kurenai

"it's not a trouble at all" replied Naruto

"besides we wanted to thank you" said Hinata

"for what?" asked the genjustsu mistress

"if not you, me and Naruto wouldn't have been together now" answered Hinata with a smile

"that was fate and not me. I just helped a little, and not only me, Kakashi also had his hand in this" replied Kurenai

"we know. We'll also get a gift for him. But his birthday is in September so he'll just have to wait" said Naruto

"c'mon sensei. Open it and tell us what do you think?" said Hinata

Kurenai opened the small box to see a beautiful necklace with a cupid hanging on it "ohh that's so sweet. Thank you so much, but I can't have it"

"why? You didn't like it?" asked Naruto

"of course not. I love it. But it's too exp-"

"Kurenai sensei, please accept it. You don't want to make us sad do you?" said Hinata

Kurenai smiled and in the end accepted the gift "thank you"

"and that's from me Kurenai sensei" said Shino handing his gift "they're kinda hard to find, but I finally got one"

Kurenai unwrapped her gift to reveal a silver kunai "oh my god Shino, from where did you get this?" she asked

"awesome" said both Naruto and Kiba in unison eyeing the kunai that Kurenai was now holding in her hand

"one of the merchants have a colleague, who his best friend is the husband of my mom's best friend's sister who is the teammate of my dad's cousin's father who is our neighbor. I asked him for a favor and he got for me the kunai" explained Shino

"thanks a lot Shino" said Kurenai with a smile before placing the kunai into her pouch

Naruto and Kiba rubbed their heads in confusion while trying to follow from where Shino got the kunai "dad's cousin's teammate who is the best friend of his mother's sister?" asked Naruto

"no baka. He said the neighbor's best friend's sister who is his father's cousin" replied Kiba "and you want to be the hokage"

"wow Kiba, if stupidity could fly you would have possessed your own airlines" relied Naruto

"what did you say?!!!!" jerked Kiba

"guys stop it" interrupted Hinata "both of you are wrong"

"oh yeah" said Kiba "if you are so clever then go ahead Hinata. Educate us please"

Hinata sighed before she spoke "it's very easy. Shino's father's cousin's, who is their neighbor, is the teammate of his mom's best friend's sister, who is married to the merchant's best friend's colleague" explained Hinata

Kurenai chuckled "very close Hinata but not exactly "the merchant's colleague's best friend's wife who is Shino's mom's best friend's sister who is the teammate of Shino's dad's cousin's father who is their neighbor………or something like that"

"oh now I get it" said Hinata

Kiba blinked in confusion "Naruto, did you get it?"

"shhhh I'm thinking!" replied Naruto with closed eyes while rubbing his chin "OH I'M GETTING IT!!!! I THINK I UNDERSTAND!!"

"r…really?" asked Kiba

Naruto then suddenly opened his eyes and sighed "no I don't"

"me either" said Kiba

Kurenai giggled "Naruto have you seen Kakashi?" she asked

"yeah, I saw him in granny's office this morning. Why are you asking?" said Naruto

"I just haven't seen him and I just wondered where could he be" replied Kurenai

"sensei, I also have a gift for you" said Kiba

"oh thank you Kiba" replied Kurenai smiling

"I'm treating you to Ichiraku's" said Kiba

"I think it's the best gift so far Kiba" replied Kurenai with a smile

A smug came across Kiba's face "I know"

"ok, now let's start our training and after that Kiba will treat us to Ichiraku's" spoke Kurenai

"ahh ramen, can I come too?" asked Naruto

"of course Naruto" replied Kurenai with a smile

"sweet"

Kiba's eyes widened "whoa!! Hold on for a second. I'm only treating you sensei"

"ohh" the crimson eyed kunoichi pouted "and here I thought that your present is the best, well it was"

"it is still the best" jerked Kiba "hell yeah! I'm treating all of you for ramen. Kakashi sensei can go as well"

"that's my student" said Kurenai proudly

"I have to go now" said Naruto making his attention towards Hinata "I'll see ya later Hinata chan" he added giving her a quick kiss on her lips before he dashed away to meet his team.

After the training, team Kurenai made its' way towards Ichiraku's for lunch. Naruto, much to Kiba's disappointments made it on time and had a delicious meal at Ichiraku's consisting from 5 bowls. Kiba was short on money, but thankfully, Teuchi after learning that it was Kurenai's birthday added some extra meat on the house and also gave him a discount

"Naruto.." Kurenai begun in her usual calm tone as she and her team walked out from the ramen shop "have you told Kakashi to come by and have some ramen with us?" she asked

"yeah I did, but he said that he's too busy and just told me to send his regards to you" replied Naruto as he walked hand in hand with his girlfriend Hinata, who still had a slight shade of pink upon her cheeks

"just regards? He didn't say anything else?" asked Kurenai

"nope he didn't" replied Naruto

_"did he forget that today is my birthday?" _Kurenai thought looking to the ground

Hinata noticed that her sensei went a little sad "is everything ok, Kurenai sensei?" she asked with concern

Kurenai looked up at her student and smiled "yeah, everything is fine Hinata" she replied

"are you sure?"

"yeah, I'm sure"

_I didn't forget about her birthday. I would have never forgot about something important like that. I just was busy preparing everything as I wanted it to be as perfect as it could be. It was already afternoon, and it was the time to give to Kurenai her present. But I decided to play a little with her and pretend that I really forgot about her birthday. _

Kurenai was having a walk around the village since Tsunade gave her a day off. She sighed as she walked through the street and looked up at the sky _"did he really forget about my birthday?" _she questioned herself when she heard Kakashi's voice calling from behind

"Kureani!"

Kurenai turned around and saw Kakashi walking towards her, a smile came across her face as she greeted the silver haired jonin "hey. Where have you been?" she asked

"umm here and there, how are you today?" asked Kakashi

"good" replied Kurenai "today is a special day" she said smirking

"and why is it so special?" asked Kakashi confused

"you really don't know?"

"no I don't" replied Kakashi

"what's today's date?" she asked

Kakashi thought for awhile before replaying "hmm…I think it's June the 11th"

"that's what I thought" replied Kurenai "and what happened on June the 11th?"

"……..what happened?"

"do you really don't know?"

"no I don't"

Kurenai sighed "it's someone's birthday you baka"

"ahhh, how could I forget!" replied Kakashi, Kurenai smiled and waited for Kakashi to continue "it's Shia LaBeouf 's birthday" he finished

Kurenai almost fell to the ground after hearing what Kakashi just said "who?

"Shia LaBeouf. You know, this American actor who acted in this action movie called transformers"

_"I can't believe it!!! he forgot about my birthday" _thought Kurenai

"come, I want to show you something" said Kakashi grabbing her hand

"I…I want to go home" replied Kurenai in a bit disappointed tone

"oh c'mon, I'm sure you will like it"

"no I-"

"just close your eyes"

"what?"

"close your eyes, and just hold my hand"

Kurenai sighed before she closed her eyes "I hope it'll be something worth watching" she said

"I hope it will"

After about 5 minutes of walking, Kakashi finally stopped and let go of Kurenai's hand

"ok, open your eyes" said Kakashi cheerfully "happy birthday"

Kurenai slowly opened her eyes "….oh..my..god!!!!" she exclaimed happily as her jaw dropped at the sight of a fully geared workshop

"here you have a couple of easels with different sized painting boards. A whole set of painting brushes. I just discovered that there are so many types of them. Also here you have different types of paints. I didn't know which one do you use so here you have oil paints, water paints, gloss paints, acrylic paints and many other that I don't even know their names, but I'm sure you'll not have any problems in recognizing them. And here you have all the different tools used for painting, sketching and drawing like canvas, palettes, pencils, varnishes and others. And this one here…" he added as he gently grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest right above his heart "is a heart….my heart, and it's yours now" he said smiling

"Kakashi…." Kurenai begun softly as she felt tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes

"you like it?" he asked

"it's…..it's the best present I have ever got in my whole life, and I'm not talking here about the workshop" she said smiling with tears of happiness now falling down her cheeks

Kakashi smiled as he lowered his mask down and leaned in for a long and tender kiss "so you like it?" he asked after breaking the kiss

"I love it" replied Kurenai "thank you. And I thought that you forgot about my birthday"

Kakashi placed his palms on her cheeks and gently wiped her tears with his thumbs "I would have never forgot about your birthday. But it's not over yet" he said smiling before he backed away and slid his hand into his right pocket "here are the keys for your workshop" he said handing the keys over to Kurenia "and wait here for a second"

Kurenai watched Kakashi walking out from the workshop just to be back a minute later with a big bouquet of red roses and a small black lab puppy with a red ribbon wrapped around its' neck "Kakashi..now that's too much"

"didn't you say that you want a puppy?!"

Kurenai just smiled as she made her way towards Kakashi and took the little puppy in her arms "ohh he's so cute"

"she" corrected Kakashi "it's a girl"

Kurenai lifted up the puppy to have a look "you're right" she said "What's her name?" she asked

"that's up to you. choose one" replied Kakashi

Kurenai thought for awhile before replaying "hmm I'll name you Tora"

The puppy looked up at her while swinging his little black tail, when Kurenai brought her face close enough to her she started to lick her cheek "I think she like it" Kurenai said giggling

_Seeing her smiling from ear to ear was enough for me to make me happy. I was glad that she liked the gift and although it cost me a lot of money I didn't care, couz she was worth it. I would do anything for her. Just one word from her and she'll get whatever she wants. A star from the haven above. A flower form the other side of the world. I would do anything just to see that beautiful smile on her so beautiful angelic face. A smile that I fell in love from the very first moment when I saw it on her face. The smile that mend my broken spirit. The one that healed my bleeding heart. The same one that repaired my broken wings and made me believe in love again._

Kurenai still had the puppy in her arms when she came closer to Kakashi and gave him a long soft kiss "I love you"

"I love you too" replied Kakashi smiling "now let's go and have a picnic" he said grabbing one of Kurenai's hand while her other hold the puppy

"where?" she asked

"you'll see"

* * *

so Asuma is in love with Kurenai, will he really step aside just like he said or will he change his mind and fight for her? And most importantly will Kakashi find out that Kurenai is sick? Read to find out. That's it for this chapter, hope you liked it, review please ^_^ and thanks for all your reviews. Keep them coming :)


	6. Summer Rain

I wasn't planning to update today, but here you have xcess, this one is for you ^_^ but that means that it'll take awhile before I'll update again, or maybe not. Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

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_I took Kurenai to one of my favorite spots that I accidently discovered when I was returning from one of my missions. The place was located near the village behind the forest and it was a perfect place for a picnic. It was her birthday after all and what's a birthday without a cake? We walked there hand in hand. Along with Tora of course, and I hoped that Kurenai will like the place._

"is it far yet?" asked Kurenai

"be patient, we're almost there" answered Kakashi as he dragged Kurenai through the trees "here" he said after they got out from the forest into a beautiful green field that was surrounded by beautiful cherry trees. Grass and flowers grew everywhere that seemed to glow under the warm summer sunrays with beautiful colors. There was also a small waterfall that was falling into a lagoon with such pure water that you could see the fish swimming in it.

Kurenai watched in amazement the magnificent view in the front of her "it's so….beautiful" she said smiling still looking around

"yeah it is" replied Kakashi softly with his gaze glued on Kurenai

Kurenai felt Kakashi's gaze on her and turned her head towards him "what?" she asked smiling

_I didn't know how to answer. Each time I look at her I find myself getting lost in her beauty. I'm not only talking here about her beautiful face. But about the beauty that comes from within her. That can be seen in her crimson eyes. Reflecting on me. Making my heart singing. Lifting up my spirit. Making me want to reach out for her and hold her tight in my arms and never let go._

Kakashi was silent for awhile before replaying "you look cute with this pup in your arms"

"thank you" replied Kurenai smiling

"let's have a seat" said Kakashi before placing a blanket under one of the trees

Kurenai nodded and gently came to sit on the blanket and let go of the puppy. Kakashi took off his mask and took out all the food that he had in the basket , basically it was only a birthday cake and a bottle of champagne

"you're not going to make me drunk are you?" asked Kurenai in a playful tone

"I haven't thought about it…yet" he replied grinning opening the bottle before he poured some of the champagne into the glasses and handed one of them to Kurenai, each one had a piece of cake and just sat next to each other chatting and laughing "happy birthday honey" said Kakashi before he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers for a long soft kiss

"ruff" Tora barked happily causing the two to break the kiss

Kurenai looked down at her dog "do you want to play?" she asked

"ruff ruff"

"I think you do" said Kurenai as she slowly stood to her feet, but before she could rise to her full height Kakashi grabbed her hand and pulled her down to sit again

"where do you think you are going?" asked Kakashi

"Tora seems to be bored" replied Kurenai

"and what about me?" he asked in a playful tone as he got his face closer to hers and brushed the tip of his nose against hers

"what about you?"

"you'll go to play with your dog and leave me here all alone?"

"well you can play with us"

"I'd rather play only with you" he said grinning before giving her a passionate kiss

"ruff ruff ruff…ruff" Tora barked in a high pitch demanding some attention

Kurenai much to Kakashi's disappointments broke the kiss and looked at her puppy "you're bored aren't you?"

"ruff"

Kurenai returned her attention to Kakashi "sorry Kakashi, but she's too cute" she said as she stood up but Kakashi pulled her down again

"I have an idea" said Kakashi before he bit his thumb to draw some blood and summoned Pakkun

"yo" greeted Pakkun "what's up Kakashi?"

"I want you to play with Tora" said Kakashi

"who?" asked Pakkun confused

"ruff ruff" the black lab barked happily and made her way towards Pakkun

Pakkun looked wide eyed at the pup before he looked back at Kakashi "are you kidding me? do I look like a babysitter?"

Kakashi didn't give his dog any attention as he placed his hand on Kurenai's neck and gently pulled her closer for a long tender kiss

"Kakashi I do not babysit. Summon that buffoon Biscuit or Bull or anyone else" grumbled Pakkun while Tora started to play with his short tail

Both Kakashi and Kurenai ignored the dog as Kurenai wrapped her arms around Kakashi's neck deepening the kiss as she slowly came to lay on her back enjoying Kakashi's tongue exploring her mouth

Pakkun just looked at the two who didn't give a damn that he's even here "and I'm supposed to be the animal here! Look at yourselves. Oh boy, you kiddo don't look. Come, we'll play hide and seek"

Pakkun much to his surprise found himself enjoying his time with the little pup while Kakashi and Kurenai continued what they were doing before.

The sun was starting to set on the horizon and the couple were still laying on the blanket gazing the clouds on the now red sky. Kurenai rested her head on Kakashi's chest and wrapped her arms around him firmly

"have you ever heard about the Ai bridge?" Kurenai asked softly

"Ai bridge?"

"it's in the Bird country"

"no I haven't" replied Kakashi

"there's a small village in the Bird country that has a wide valley where a river flows. High above that river is built the Ai bridge. The villagers have a very interesting and romantic custom"

"really? And what's their custom?"

"if a boy loves a girl and wants to prove his love for her. He must to stand on that bridge and jump into that river"

"well that's sounds easy"

"not for everyone. As I said before that bridge is built very high above the river and you can easily kill yourself"

"then someday we'll have to go to the Bird country"

Kurenai looked up at Kakashi "what for?" she asked

"so I would jump and prove my love for you" he replied smiling

"and get yourself killed? No way. Besides, you don't have to prove anything Kakashi"

Kakashi just chuckled before replaying "I know you want me to jump"

"no I don't" replied Kurenai as she came to sit on the blanket

"then why did you tell me that story?"

"it just came to my mind that's all"

"just admit it, you want me to jump" replied Kakashi grinning

"I do admit that it would have been nice if someone would do that for me, but……"

"but what?" asked Kakashi as he also came to sit

"I love you too much to let you do something like that" replied Kurenai smiling

Kakashi smiled back and leaned in for a long soft kiss "it's decided then" he said after breaking the kiss

"what's decided?" asked Kurenai confused

"one day I'll jump for you from that bridge"

"Kakashi"

"and it's a promise"

Kurenai just sighed and rolled her eyes before replaying "instead of going to the bird country I want to show you another place"

"where?"

"it's near the border of the water country. I'll try to clear my schedule so we'll go there"

"let me know when you will" replied Kakashi smiling

Kurenai smiled back before she leaned in and kissed his cheek "thank you Kakashi"

Kakashi looked puzzled at Kurenai "for what?" he asked

Kurenai just smiled and gazed at Kakashi in silence for awhile before she spoke "for making my life worth living"

Kakashi smiled and cupped her cheek in his hand "I'm the one who should thank you. Because if not for you……I would have never known happiness at all" he said softly before he leaned in for a long and tender kiss

"ruff ruff" barked Tora as she jumped on Kurenai's lap causing the two to break the kiss

"ahem, Pakkun?" said Kakashi turning his head towards his dog who was sitting next to the blanket with a very exhausted expression on his face

"what? It has been hours and I'm out of ideas. For how long I can play hide and seek? Besides if you haven't notice, it's getting late" replied Pakkun

"he's right" said Kurenai softly while petting her little puppy "and I think it's going to rain"

Kakashi looked up at the sky to see some dark clouds "nah it wont, it'll pass by"

_And as usual, Kurenai was right. The clouds rolled in out of the sudden and it started to rain and we ran back to the village. Down the red dirt road. As the warm rain drops of the sweet summer rain fell down on us. We ran and laughed all the way back. Her hair all soaked up. The raindrops gently running down her beautiful face. Shakespeare once said 'I can express no kinder sign of love, than this kind kiss'. I don't know why it came to my mind. Suddenly I stopped running and stood in the middle of the road. Kurenai looked back at me and asked what is it? I just smiled and pulled her closer to me, taking her soft, full and ah so red lips in a long passionate kiss. The rain still falling down on us as our tongues met. That's when I thought, this is it! life will never be better or sweeter than this. _

Since Kakashi's apartment were closer and it was still raining, Kakashi suggested to step by his place. Both wet to the bone entered through the front door and stepped inside

"great. I'm all wet" muttered Kurenai while placing the puppy on the floor

"and you still look cute" replied Kakashi smirking, placing his hands on Kurenai's waist pulling her closer for a soft kiss

"can I have a towel?" asked Kurenai

"sure thing" replied Kakashi and baked away "just a second" he added before he made his way towards his room and after awhile got back with a new towel and a shirt "you can wear my shirt until your clothes will dry up. I'm sorry but I didn't find anything else" he said while handing the shirt over to Kurenai

"it's ok, thanks" she replied "if you don't mind I'll have a quick shower"

"of course I don't" replied Kakashi with a smile "meanwhile I'll make some tea"

"meanwhile you'll get your wet clothes off and wear something dry, you don't want to get a cold do you?" said Kurenai

"yes ma'am" replied Kakashi with a salute

"baka" giggled Kurenai before she kissed his cheek and made her way towards the bathroom while Kakashi went to his bedroom to change his clothes. He dressed into his baggy pants and a white undershirt before he went to the kitchen and begun preparing the tea as well as some milk for the pup.

After about 15 minutes Kurenai finally got out from the shower and made her way towards the living room, as she steeped inside Kakashi glanced at her and grinned

"you look sexy with my shirt on" he remarked making Kurenai's cheeks go slightly red

"should I thank you or hit you for that?" she asked playfully as she came to sit on the couch

"it was a complement" replied Kakashi as he came closer to Kurenai and gave her a quick kiss before he handed to her a cup of tea and sat next to her

"thank you" replied Kurenai "umm can I use the phone? I want to call Asuma"

"….sure"

Kurenai smiled and grabbed the phone before dialing Asuma's number "hey Asuma" she greeted after Asuma answered

"oh hi Kurenai, where are you? I was looking for you everywhere" he asked

"I'm at Kakashi's" replied Kurenai "I may be late so don't wait for me ok"

"but your medication"

Kurenai looked up at Kakashi who was still sitting next to her and watched the tv, since the phone was portable she stood up and made her way towards Kakashi's bedroom to finish the conversation there leaving Kakashi alone in the living room

"Asuma, nothing will happen if I'll have a day off"

"Kurenai, you cannot neglect your treatment"

"I'm not neglecting anything. Just the medication makes me feel nauseous and dizzy"

"so what? Nothing new"

"I'll just double the dose tomorrow"

"it's because of Kakashi right?" asked Asuma

Kurenai went silent for awhile before replaying "I just……..I don't want him to find out"

"then come home and take your medication here"

"but I want to stay"

"Kurenai –"

"bye Ausma" interrupted Kurenai and hung up before she returned to the living room

"is everything ok?" asked Kakashi

"yeah" replied Kurenai as she returned to sit on the couch "what are you watching?"

"nothing interesting" replied Kakashi lazily "umm Kurenai?"

"yes?"

"if…..if you found out that someone….is in love with you, what would you do?"

"what do you mean?" asked Kurenai confused

"I mean, what would you do if you found out that there's someone else besides me who loves you"

"….I don't know. Why are you asking me that Kakashi?"

"for no reason" replied Kakashi avoiding Kurenai's gaze all the time

"Kakashi"

"what?"

"why?"

"I told you for no reason, it just came to my mind"

Kurenai placed her hand under Kakashi's chin and gently turned his head towards her "Kakashi, why are you asking?" she asked softy

_I didn't know what I should say. Knowing that Asuma loves her wasn't easy on me. And although I said to myself that I'll never think about it anymore I couldn't. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about what if….what if deep inside of her she had some feelings for him? What if Asuma will ever confess to her and tell her about his true feelings? What will she do then? Would she still stay with me? or would she choose to be with Asuma? I know that I should not think about things like that. That I should not doubt in her because I know that she loves me. But these questions just keep haunting me and I can't help it. _

"it's just….." Kakashi begun while looking into Kurenai's eyes "you know, you're very attractive and probably a lot of guys would-"

Kurenai placed her finger on Kakashi's lips to cut him off "Kakashi, I love you. I love you and only you, and no one will ever change it. Don't you dare to think otherwise" she finished and leaned in to kiss him but before their lips could met the door bell rang

"are you waiting for someone?" asked Kurenai

"no" replied Kakashi as he stood to his feet and after putting his mask back on his face he made his way towards the door. Placing his hand and the knob he opened the door just to be surprised by his unexpected guest "A..Asuma?"

_"Asuma?! what is he doing here?" _Kurenai questioned herself as she stood up and went towards the door

"hi Kakashi" greeted Asuma with a cigarette in his mouth "Kurenai forgot about something and told me to bring it to her"

"….oh" replied Kakashi a little confused

"Asuma? why are you here?" asked Kurenai from behind Kakashi

"have you forgot? You told me to bring your vitamins remember?" said Asuma before noticing that Kurenai was only wearing Kakashi's shirt, something that he didn't like but he couldn't help it. He was jealous "you could tell me that you don't have any clothes so I could bring some for you from the house" he added in a calm but yet cold tone

_I could feel a hint of jealousy in his tone. I could see it in his eyes. In the way he scanned Kurenai from head to toe before his gaze lend on me. And there I saw something else. Next to jealously I could see his pain. The despair of knowing that the one you love is in love with someone else. I couldn't describe my own feelings by that time. A little insecure of knowing that the man in the front of me is in love with her…..with my Kurenai. A little happy to know that Kurenai loves me. A little sorry for my comrade, one of me very few friends, to see the broken expression on his face. And fear. Fear that someday I may lose my lovely Kurenai to him. _

"..thank you…Asuma" replied Kurenai softly "you don't have to bother yourself" she added as she steeped in the front of Kakashi and took the bag from Asuma with the medication

"do you need anything else?"

"no, thank you" replied Kurenai with a smile "you want to come in?"

Asuma glanced at Kakashi from the corner of his eyes before he returned to look at Kurenai "maybe some other time. I have to go now" he said putting a fake smile on his face "see ya later"

"bye" replied Kurenai as Asuma walked away

"let's go inside" said Kakashi grabbing Kurenai's hand stepping inside "I'll bring you some water" he said making his way towards the kitchen

"for what?" asked Kurenai

Kakashi turned around to face her "aren't you going to take your vitamins? I hope that everything is ok" he asked with concern

Kurenai glanced at the bag full of medication that she held in her hands, she was silent for awhile before she looked up at Kakashi and smiled "everything is fine, don't worry"

"are you sure?"

"Kakashi, they are just vitamins, I just take them to be fit" replied Kurenai with a smile before she stepped into the kitchen and placed the dark bag on the kitchen table "c'mon, let's watch a movie" she said grabbing Kakashi's hand and dragged him to the couch

"and your vitamins?" asked Kakashi

"maybe later" replied Kurenai as the two sat on the couch

_"why I have a feeling like if you're not telling me something Kurenai?" _Kakashi thought as he eyed Kurenai who was sitting next to him

Kurenai grabbed the remote and started surfing through the channels searching for a good movie, but she couldn't find anything interesting "maybe we should look through your dvd's?" chuckled Kurenai causing Kakashi to break his thoughts

"huh?"

Kurenai turned her head towards Kakashi "earth to Kakashi, is everything ok?" she asked

"..y..yeah" replied Kakashi with a smile _"I have to stop to think about it. Kurenai would have told me if something was wrong" _

"so where are your dvd's? I can't see them on your bookcase, Did you hide them somewhere?" she asked grinning

"no" replied Kakashi "I don't have them anymore"

"oh really? Should I believe you?" asked Kurenai sarcastically

_Yup, that was true. I didn't have them. After our first date, I took my whole collection and sold it. I have to admit that it was hard to say goodbye to these dvd's, but from the other side I didn't find the need of watching them anymore. It's probably because of Kurenai. But I couldn't say goodbye to my precious books…well at least not yet. _

"you can search my whole apartment and you'll not find them anywhere" replied Kakashi "your tea got cold, do you want some more?" he asked

"why not" replied Kurenai smiling, Kakashi smiled back and kissed her cheek before he stood up and made his way towards the kitchen to make some tea.

Finally Kurenai found a good movie and the couple spent the rest of the evening just watching the tv while hugging each other tight. It was around 10 pm when Kakashi wanted to ask if Kurenai would drink some more tea

"would you like to have some more kids-I MEAN TEA? T…? COFFEE?…..JUICE?" Kakashi's cheeks went red after noticing his slip of tongue, but not as red as Kurenai's who blushed furiously after hearing Kakashi's statement

Kurenai looked at Kakashi who rubbed his head nervously "I….why….not" she said softly before Kakashi pressed his lips against hers in a deep passionate kiss. Kurenai wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer before she felt his hand going up from her knee where his hand was resting up to her hip all the way to her shirt to start unbuttoning it. She didn't stop him, she wanted to do it. To be his. Completely. A small moan escaped her lips as Kakashi begun to nibble her neck and kiss every inch of it. That's when she felt him lifting her up in his strong arms before his lips crushed against hers again in another passionate kiss that grew hungrier as the lust and desire started to rush through their veins all the way to his bedroom until he gently placed her on his bed and got on the top of her.

_'Passion' a word which involves so many feelings. I felt it when we touched. When we kissed. When I looked into her crimson already fired up eyes. Everything started happening so fast. It was our first night together. My first time. She was my passion, my one true love. Inhaling her breath into my body, taking her into my soul just through the kiss. Watching her lips uttering my name slowly drove me insane as we lie in each other's arms, our eyes shut, our lips sealed, our bodies connected and all the colors of the world passing through our bodies like strings of fire. Screw Icha Icha. Nothing will never ever feel so good as making love with the woman you love. Having Kurenai in my arms was everything that I could ever dreamed of. I was finally complete._

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That's it for this chapter, hope you liked it ^_^ review please :)


	7. Tsunade's Intervention

_I slept like a baby after that night. After consuming our bond. Having her near me….laying next to me under the sheets of my bed was more than just a dream come true. I can't find the right words…the right way to describe what I'm feeling when I'm with her. It's just there…inside of me…the feeling that keeps getting stronger each day. I can feel my heart still pounding in my chest as my bare skin touches hers. As my hand goes through her dark locks. I can still taste her on my tongue. On my lips. Where her kisses from the last night still lingers._

_I was the first to wake up. Well, that's what I though in the beginning but it turned out that she was already awake. I opened my eyes and saw her laying next to me, resting her head on my chest. Gently tracing her fingers over my stomach. I smiled as I remembered all the times we spent together. The few weeks that changed my life forever. It's funny how she made all the pain that I knew, all the hurt, sadness, and the emptiness just go away. _

Kurenai didn't notice that Kakashi woke up as she was lost in her own thoughts continuing to trace little circles around his belly with her fingertips _"What would you do if you knew Kakashi? what would you do if you knew that I'm sick?" _she thought before Kakashi's voice made her go back to reality

"it tickles" said Kakashi softly with a slight chuckle

Kurenai smiled and looked up at him "hey" she greeted softly with a smile

"hey" replied Kakashi smiling

"I hope I didn't wake you up?"

"no you didn't" replied Kakashi before kissing the top of her head "what were you thinking about?" he asked

"hm?"

"you seemed to be lost in your thoughts"

"oh…about nothing just…..day dreaming" replied Kurenai before she returned to rest her head on Kakashi's chest and continued to trace her fingers over his belly

"about who?" asked Kakashi grinning

Kurenai smiled before replaying "about my prince charming"

"interesting, and who is that prince charming?"

"it's a secret" replied Kurenai playfully

"you and your secrets" replied Kakashi sighing before a silence went between the two

"ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff" barked Tora from outside the room

"Tora must be hungry" said Kurenai softly

"I'll go" replied Kakashi kissing her earlobe "and what my princess would like to eat?" he asked

"anything" replied Kurenai before she looked up again at Kakashi and kissed his lips "I love you"

"I love you too"

Kakashi got up and after he got dressed he made his way towards the kitchen to prepare the breakfast for him and Kurenai as well as for his dogs and to the little Tora, while Kurenai went to take a shower. After the breakfast was ready he set the table and waited for Kurenai to come out from the bathroom so the two can start eating. The bag with Kurenai's medication was still on the table exactly where she left it last night. When Kakashi wanted to move it from the table the bag accidently slipped from his hand and fell to the ground causing the bottles to roll out from the bag. Kakashi was surprised by the amount of the medication that was in the bag and started to doubt if they were really just vitamins.

_I'm not a medical ninja. I'm not a doctor and neither a pharmacist. But I'm not stupid. And all these medication didn't look like vitamins. Is that why she didn't want to take them yesterday? What was she hiding from me? I had to know, and I had a strong feeling that Asuma knew. _

Kurenai got out from the shower and got dressed in her own clothes since they were already dry. She made her way towards the kitchen and there her eyes widened when she saw Kakashi kneeling on the floor, eyeing her medication that was laying all over the place. She quickly ran towards him and kneeled down snatching the small bottle that Kakashi was holding in his hand

Kakashi looked up at Kurenai and asked "what are these?"

"vitamins" replied Kurenai smiling, nervously returning all the medication into the bag

"all of them?"

"most of them"

"Kurenai don't lie"

"I'm not" replied Kurenai avoiding Kakashi's gaze as she finished packing all the medication and stood up to her feet followed by Kakashi

"what's wrong?" he asked with concern

"there's nothing wrong" replied Kurenai with a smile

"I said don't lie" spoke Kakashi calmly

"I am not lying Kakashi. what's wrong with you?"

"what's wrong with me? what's wrong with you? why are you taking all of this medication?"

"I'm not taking all of them. Asuma probably didn't know which are the ones that I take and brought me the whole kit" replied Kurenai

"sounds like bull"

"which part?"

"all of this. What is the thing that you're hiding from me?"

"I'm not hiding anything Kakashi"

"oh really?"

"you know what, if you don't have any trust in me then I have nothing to do here" replied Kurenai coldly before she turned around and made her way towards the door but Kakashi stopped her by grabbing her wrist

"Kurenai….I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you"

"then stop because I'm fine" replied Kurenai

_This conversation wasn't going anywhere and I didn't want to fight with her. But it became more than obvious to me that she was really hiding something from me. And since she wasn't going to tell me that, I had to find another way. And for now just drop everything. _

"the breakfast is ready" said Kakashi changing the subject "let's eat"

Kurenai kept her gaze on the floor before she gave a sigh and looked at Kakashi nodding

After the two had their breakfast, it was time to go to work

"well, I have to go now. Thanks for the breakfast" said Kurenai smiling as she stood to her feet

"I'll walk you home" said Kakashi as he also stood to his feet

"don't bother yourself Kakashi, besides you still haven't take a shower. I'll see you later" replied Kurenai as she made her way towards the door with Kakashi following behind her

"Kurenai….I'm sorry for earlier"

"it's ok" replied Kurenai before calling her puppy "come Tora"

The little pup ran happily towards Kurenai who kneeled down taking the pup in her arms. Kakashi came closer to Kurenai and gave her a tender kiss before he spoke "Kurenai, you know that you can trust me, and that I'm always here for you. And if you'll have something to tell just say it"

"I know" replied Kurenai with a smile before giving him a soft kiss "bye"

"bye" replied Kakashi softly and watched Kurenai walking away.

_I really wanted to know what was going on. And my only clue was the medication. I have remembered some names of Kurenai's medication that fell from the bag and when she went home I wrote them on a piece of paper so I'll not forget them. After having a quick shower, I have cleaned up the kitchen and my bedroom, before I got dressed and got out from the house. I made my way towards the pharmacy shop, hoping that the pharmacist will tell me what are these medications used for. I shouldn't be doing this. I felt like if I was doing something behind Kurenai's back. Something wrong. And I knew that when she'll find out she'll be very upset. But I had to know…..I just had._

Kakashi finally made it to the pharmacy "good morning" he greeted as he stepped inside

"good morning" replied the pharmacist who was working there "how may I help you?"

"can you tell me what are these medications used for?" asked Kakashi handing to the pharmacist the piece of paper with the names of the medications

The pharmacist eyed the piece of paper through his glasses and after awhile of thinking he finally spoke "the first one is a pain killer, a combination of acetaminophen, butalbital and caffeine, usually used to treat spasms, cramping and tightening of muscles caused by medical problems"

"medical problems like what?" asked Kakashi

"from simple headache and back pain to tumors"

Kakashi paused after hearing the word 'tumor' "and what about the second one?" he asked

"well, I don't have it in my shop, it's probably a special combination made by the Hokage, you can ask her or her assistant Shizune san, I'm sure that one of them will know" said the pharmacist

"thank you" replied Kakashi and got out from the shop.

Meanwhile, Kurenai was at home in her room, her body shivering all covered in sweat. Breathing heavily as she sat on the floor with her back against her bed hugging her trembling knees _"damn it. My team is waiting for me" _she thought as she slowly stood to her feet and made her way out of her room.

Asuma was in the living room playing with Tora when he heard Kurenai calling in a weak tone "Asuma…..can you…meet my team…and tell them that..today's training is…canceled" Kurenai said between her breaths as she tried her best to maintain her balance

Asuma looked up at his roommate who looked like if she was about to faint "Kurenai?" he called worriedly as he quickly stood up to his feet and ran towards her "what happened to you?"

"it's…..nothing…I just took…my…medication" answered Kurenai panting as Asuma helped her to go back to her room

"medication? Kurenai….don't tell me that-"

"I doubled the dose" finished Kurenai when she came to sit on her bed

"are you stupid?! I brought you the medication yesterday! Why you didn't take them??!"

"…I..didn't-" Kurenai begun softly just to be cut off by Asuma's angry tone

"just don't tell me because of him?! Kurenai…don't push me to tell him everything. If you're willing to neglect your treatment just so he'll not find out, you're wrong to think that I'm going just to watch how you're hurting yourself like that and stay silent"

"…don't tell him..anything Asuma. I'm…fine..I just need…some rest" replied Kurenai trying her best to not throw up as she was feeling very nauseous

"no Kurenai! you're not fine!"

"…I'm fine.."

"no! you have a tumor in your brain! You're not fine! Don't pretend that everything is fine because it's not. You're seriously sick and I can't stand it how you put everything away just because of Kakashi" shouted Asuma angrily

"Asuma..please..try to understand me….even a little"

"you try to understand me. You're always thinking about Kakashi, but what about me? have you ever thought about my feelings even for once?"

"w….what do you….mean?" asked Kurenai confused, as she looked up at Asuma

Asuma noticed that he said too much, and quickly calmed himself before he looked to the ground and spoke "Kurenai I……love you…..like my own…..sister, and you're also my best friend. I'm worried about you and I can't just sit here and watch how you're hurting yourself by neglecting your treatment"

"Asuma…don't wo-arrgh" Kurenai begun before she cried out in pain

"Kurenai!" called Asuma worriedly as he kneeled in the front of her "what's wrong?"

"..my….head is…killing me" replied Kurenai through clenched teeth placing her both hands around her head trying her best to stand the pain

"I'll call Tsunade sama" said Asuma before he quickly ran towards the living room and dialed the Hospital's number, hoping that the fifth hokage will be there by that time.

Kakashi was walking towards the hokage's office, lost in his thoughts, thinking about what the pharmacist have told him before

_**~Flashback~ **_

_"the first one is a pain killer, a combination of acetaminophen, butalbital and caffeine, usually used to spasms, cramping and tightening of muscles caused by medical problems" _

_"medical problems like what?" _

_"from simple headache and back pain to tumors"_

_**~End of Flashback~ **_

_"tumors" _thought Kakashi _"god please..I hope it's not a tumor. I hope that Tsunade sama will tell me something. I hope that Kurenai was telling the truth and that she's doing fine". _Then he finally made it to the tower, and there found Shizune in the front of the hokage's office

"good morning Kakashi san" greeted Shizune politely holding Tonton in her arms

"good morning" replied Kakashi "I want to talk to the hokage. Is she available?"

"she's in the hospital right now" replied Shizune "is it something important?" she asked

"kind of. But maybe you can help me" said Kakashi as he took out the piece of paper with the names of the medications "I went to the pharmacist and he told me that this medication may be the hokage's special combination. I just want to ask for what it's used?"

Shizune took the piece of paper in her hand and glanced over the name of the medication that was written there "that's true. It's one of Tsunade sama's special combinations. I personally was helping the hokage to prepare it. It was made especially for Kurenai san" replied Shizune

"for Kurenai? do you know what's wrong with her?" Kakashi asked in a worried tone

"I don't know any details because Tsuande sama is working on her case"

"is it something serious?"

"it's……….." Shizune begun before she went silent

"Shizune san, if you know something please tell me, I need to know"

_**~Flashback~ **_

_Tsunade and Shizune were in the lab preparing the medication for Kurenai, Shizune at first didn't know for who was the medication, so curiosity took over and she decided to ask _

_"those are very powerful ingredients" said Shizune _

_"I hope they'll work" replied Tsunade while mixing the ingredients together_

_"for who are you making this medication?" _

_"I'll tell you if you promise to keep it a secret"_

_"don't worry. I won't tell anybody" _

_"it's for Kurenai Yuhi" _

_"Kurenai san? But those ingredients are used for.."_

_Tsunede was silent as she continued to mix the ingredients in the bowl _

_"can't be" said Shizune in disbelieve "that means that…."_

_"she has a tumor" finished Tsunade "Shizune, I promised Kurenai that I won't say it to anyone, so please keep this information to yourself" _

_"ok"_

_**~End Of Flashback~ **_

_"damn it. I said too much" _Shizune cursed herself in her thoughts "I..I don't know anything. As I said Tsunade sama is working on her case"

"but maybe you know what is this medication used for" said Kakashi

"….it's…..for….a cold maybe. I don't know" replied Shizune nervously

"but you said that you personally prepared the medication with the hokage"

"I did. But you know, the ingredients are used to treat many diseases"

"so Kurenai is sick"

"it's probably a cold or something else. It's nothing serious"

"you don't know this for sure if you're not working on her case do you?" asked Kakashi in a worried tone

"….what?"

"Tsunade sama is in the hospital right?" said Kakashi as he turned away and ran towards the hospital

"no! Kakashi san wait!" called Shizune but with no use "damn it. Me and my tongue, I'll better call Tsuande sama before Kakashi gets to her"

Meanwhile, Tsunade was talking with Asuma through the phone in her hospital office

"I'm on my way" said the hokage and hung up before the phone rang again "what?!"

"Tsunade sama we have a problem" said Shizune

"Shizune I'm busy right now. I have to go to the lab before I'll go to see Kurenai"

"but it's very important. Kakashi may look for you in the hospital"

"why?"

"…..because……..because I….."

"Shizune I don't have time for your stuttering" growled the blonde

"I'm sorry. But I kinda told him that…..Kurenai is sick"

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????"

"but I didn't tell him that she has a cancer"

"how did t happen??"

"he somehow got the name of the medication that we made lately and asked me about it. I just told him that it was made for Kurenai. But he's suspecting something. And you know that I'm a bad liar"

"god bless you Shizune" said Tsunade sarcastically "what does he exactly know?

"I don't know, he only said that the pharmacist told him that the medication is probably made by you"

"that means that I have to pay the pharmacist a visit" replied the hokage "I'll handle it" she added before she hung up.

_I was sure that something was wrong. I just hoped that it wasn't anything serious, and I couldn't help but to worry. I ran towards the hospital and searched for the hokage but I couldn't find her. I wondered where she could be? But then, I decided to have a talk with Kurenai as well as with Asuma. I already knew enough._

Asuma placed Kurenai in her bed and sat right next to her holding her hand as her whole body trembled, she has also developed a high fever in the past couple of minutes and Asuma was getting more worried seeing the state Kurenai was in

"hang on there Kurenai" he spoke softly tightening his grip around her hand when the door bell rang "it's for sure Tsunade sama" he said as he stood up and made his way towards the door, but instead of the hokage he found Kakashi "K…Kakashi? what are you doing here?"

"we need to talk" said Kakashi in a serious tone

"we'll talk later Kakashi, I'm busy" replied Asuma and when he was about to close the door Kakashi stopped him

"Kurenai is inside?" asked Kakashi

"no she's not"

"where is she?"

"probably training with her team or on a mission" replied Asuma

"funny, because I saw her team still waiting for her in the training field"

Kurenai could hear Kakashi's voice as she laid in her bed _"I can't let Kakashi see me like this" _she thought as she used all her strength to come and sit on her bed while Kakashi and Asuma continued to argue on the front porch

"Asuma, let me in" demanded Kakashi

"I told you that Kurenai is not here"

Kakashi just sighed and rolled his eyes before he looked at Asuma "fine" he said before he forced himself inside pushing Asuma aside

"what the hell you think you're doing?" growled Asuma as he followed Kakashi who was heading straight to Kurenai's room

"Kurenai!" called Kakashi ignoring the bearded jonin before he opened the door to Kurenai's room and stepped inside.

_My heart sank when I saw Kurenai in such condition. Shivering all sweated up. I just stood with my feet glued to the floor, not knowing what I should say. What I should do. She looked at me with a glossy look. Her cheeks red from the high fever. She murmured something softly but I couldn't hear it. I couldn't as everything that the pharmacist have told me was running through my mind. What if it was a tumor? Was I ready for something like that? If it was really a tumor will I find enough courage to help her go through this? Will I have enough strength to go through all this myself? _

"K…Kakashi? what…are you doing..…here?" Kurenai asked softly again looking up at Kakashi who was standing in the front of her and didn't say anything from the moment he entered her room

"who do you think you are storming here like that" growled Asuma as he entered the room behind Kakashi

Asuma's voice shook Kakashi from his thoughts "…..Kurenai" he said as he looked at Kurenai with concern in his eyes and tone "..what's wrong? And don't say that you're fine because I know that you're not"

Kurenai didn't know what she should say. She didn't want to tell him anything about her sickness, but she couldn't figure out a good excuse either _"saying I'm fine won't work I guess" _she thought to herself before she looked at Asuma who was now standing next to Kakashi, his expression didn't tell her anything, he just looked at her before his gaze went to the ground. The kunoichi sighed and looked to the ground before saying in a low tone "..I'm sick"

"I already know that, but what is it?" asked Kakashi worriedly

Kurenai looked up at him and said with a small smile "….it's nothing….serious…don't worry"

"Kurenai what is it?" Kakashi insisted

Kakashi was stubborn and Kurenai knew that, she had to think of something fast if she didn't want to reveal to Kakashi the truth that she has a cancer but nothing sensible came to her mind. Asuma also stayed silent and didn't say anything, which didn't help her at all.

"Kurenai just say something" said Kakashi "if it is a ca-"

"what the hell is going on here" came Tsunade's voice from behind causing everyone to look back at the hokage "what?" asked the blonde after feeling the gaze of the three on her "I don't wear my shirt?"

"Tsunade sama good that you came so fast" said Asuma "she has a high fever" he added

"I expected that" replied Tsunade before she looked at Kurenai "how's your back Kurenai?" she asked creating a confused look on both Kurenai and Asuma

"Tsunade sama" Kakashi begun in a worried tone "no body wants to tell my anything, what's happening with Kurenai?"

"she overdosed her medication and now she's suffering because of her own stupidity" replied the hokage

"but why is she taking the medication in the first place?" asked Kakashi

"she didn't tell you" said the Hokage before moving her gaze on Kakashi.

Kurenai's heart stopped as she waited for the hokage to continue _"please. Please hokage sama, don't tell him anything"_

"no she didn't" replied Kakashi

"she's suffering from spondylosis" said the hokage

Kurenai sighed in relief after hearing the hokages answer, but yet she wasn't sure if Kakashi will believe it. While Asuma just rubbed his head wondering what is this spondylosis thing.

"…spondylosis?" asked Kakashi confused "is it something serious?"

"if it is treated then no" replied the hokage "Kurenai has injured her back during her last mission, her joints in the centra of the spinal vertebra have been injured. They cause some presser on the nerves causing some spasms, so she may feel a sharp pain in her back, neck, or even cause a headache. I have managed to treat her joints using my chakra and just gave her some medication. Everything was going fine, but she didn't take her medication yesterday and doubled the dose all by herself causing the symptoms she's suffering from now" explained Tsunade

Kakashi's face brightened up in relief after hearing Tsunade's explanation, how he could doubt in the hokage's words after all? and besides what she has said matched exactly the use of the medication that he learned from the pharmacist "but she will be ok right?" he asked

"she will if you'll stop asking me these questions. Now everyone get out! I need to take a look at her" said Tsunade with authority

Kurenai looked at Kakashi and gave him a weary but a warm smile "I told you…it's nothing….serious" she said still gasping as she sat on the edge of her bed

Kakashi smiled back "I'll leave you with the hokage for now and I'll talk to you later" he said before he got out from the room along with Asuma.

While Asuma and Kakashi were waiting in the living room, Tsunade was taking care of Kurenai. It only took her about 40 minutes to stop the trembling of her body as well as the high fever

"now just rest. Take some break from the medication for now. Start the usual dose from the beginning of the next week" spoke the hokage after she finished treating the genjutsu mistress who was now sitting in her bed

"thank you, Tsunade sama" replied Kurenai softly

"no need to thank me Kurenai, that's my duty"

"thank you for not telling him anything"

"oh for that" replied the hokage "I just remembered that you told me that you don't want anyone to know about it..but….."

"but what?" asked Kurenai confused

"you should tell him"

Kurenai sighed and looked at her lap in silence before she spoke "Tsunade sama" she begun softly "you saw him how he got worried by just thinking that I'm sick.....and I don't want to see him that way"

"it's normal that he's worried about you. He loves you. But you can't keep lying to him. Eventually he'll find out"

"do you think that it's easy on me to do that?" Kurenai asked as she looked up at Tsunade who was standing next to her bed "I don't want to lie to him, but I don't have the heart to tell him the truth either"

"he's not a child Kurenai. He can stand it"

"maybe yes, but…..he had suffered so much..his father…his teammates….his sensei, I can't do this to him. I don't want him to suffer because of me"

"and you think that by not telling him anything you'll protect him from this?"

"have you ever seen him smiling?" asked Kurenai creating a confusing look on Tsunade's face

"excuse me?" asked the blonde confused

"I mean, have you ever seen him without his mask smiling from ear to ear?"

"no I haven't"

"I have, and I'll do anything just to see that smile on his face. I don't want to take it away" replied Kurenai

Tsunade just sighed and rubbed her neck "I need a drink" she muttered causing Kurenai to chuckle slightly "well, it's all up to you I guess. Just remember to rest for the rest of the day"

"hai" replied Kurenai, Tsunade just smiled before she got out from the room.

In the living room, Kakashi and Asuma were sitting silently not saying anything. They just glanced at each other from time to time as they waited for the hokage to come out from the room

_"what does he has that I don't?" _thought Asuma as he glanced at Kakashi again from the corner of his eye

_"why does he has to be her roommate?" _though Kakashi before he glanced at his fellow jonin

Asuma looked away and rubbed his chin _"maybe I should shave my beard?" _

Kakashi lazily moved his gaze to the ceiling as he thought _"I wonder if Kurenai will agree to move in to my apartment?"_

_"do I have any chance?"_

_"should I be worried?"_

The two then glanced at each other again

_"…………."_

_"…………" _

_"nah"_

_"nah"_

_"I should stop thinking about it, Kurenai will never feel something towards me, besides I told Kakashi that I won't fight for her" _thought Asuma

"_he told me that he'll not fight for Kurenai, and I don't think that he'll go back on his words. Besides, Kurenai told me that she loves me. I just have to stop thinking about it. No need to be jealous" _thought Kakashi when Tsunade stepped into the living room causing the two jonins to look up at her

"well, she just needs to rest for the rest of the day. Keep on eye on her" spoke the hokage

"I will" replied both Kakashi and Asuma in unison before they looked at each other again

"don't trouble yourself Kakashi. I'll take good care of her" said Asuma with a smile

"it's not a trouble at all, besides I can take a good care of her myself" replied Kakashi smiling

"I'm sure that you're busy"

"not as much as you, I'll stay with her"

"no, don't bother yourself. I'll stay with her"

Tsunade just stood there, her arms crossed, watching the two arguing about who will stay with Kurenai which started to press on her nerves

"I'm her roommate"

"I'm her boyfriend"

"and I'm the hokage!!" growled Tsunade interrupting the two "Kakashi, if I do remember well you have an S-ranked mission today. And I'm sure that Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura are not so very happy waiting for you now for how long?" she said looking at her watch "oh, for 2 hours now. And you Asuma, since Kurenai is having a day off, you'll serve as the captain of her team for today. If I'm not wrong, they're still waiting in the training field for Kurenai. Explain everything, and head to my office to take a mission"

"but what about Kurenai?" asked Kakashi as he stood to his feet

"I'll send Shizune to stay with her" replied the hokage and turned around "I'm waiting for you in my office Asuma, don't be late" she added and headed outside

The two jonins sighed before Kakashi spoke "I'll just say goodbye and I'm off"

"ok, I also have to go" replied Asuma before headed towards his room to get dressed while Kakashi made his way towards Kurenai's room

Kurenai looked up at him smiling as he entered "hey" she greeted softly as he came to sit on the edge of her bed

"hey" he greeted back before he lowered his mask down and kissed her cheek "you scared the hell out of me"

"I'm sorry" replied Kurenai looking down at her lap

"don't be. It's ok. Why you didn't tell me from the beginning?"

Kurenai looked up at him again and was silent for awhile before she replied "I just….didn't want you to get worried"

"and you did a great job" he said sarcastically

"how did you know?"

"about what?"

"that I'm sick"

"I went to the pharmacist and asked him about the medication that I saw in the morning"

"I see"

Kakashi was silent for awhile and just looked at Kurenai before he spoke "I got pretty scared when he told me that it's used to treat tumors"

"…d..did he really….say that?" asked Kurenai with a bit shocked expression

"yeah" replied Kakashi before he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight "I would die if something would have happened to you Kurenai. I'm happy that everything is ok" he said tightening his embrace "I love you so much Kurenai Yuhi. You have changed my life in so many ways…I don't know how to thank you for that. Life has been harsh on me, but this time…I'm truly happy Kurenai…..I'm finally happy, thank you"

After hearing these words Kurenai felt her eyes going wet while returning the embrace _"if you just knew Kakashi, if you just knew" _

* * *

Finally finished, I didn't expect this chapter to be so long, but here it is. I hope you liked it and don't forget to review ^_^ love ya all :)


	8. A Day Out

_Love is our true destiny. We don't find the meaning of life by ourselves alone, but we find it with another. With that special person that will make your heart smile. Always no matter what. I guess I don't have to say who is that special person to me. I wished for nothing more beyond her smile, and to walk with her hand in hand under the warmth of the summer sun. I love staying out late just to see her. Those walks. The starry nights. Laying with her. Kissing her. Loving her. These and other things that make me so happy. I just can't get her out of my mind. Her smile is so intoxicating. Her kisses so sweet. Her beautiful crimson eyes so mesmerizing. I can't stop falling for her, deeper with every day. I still don't know how she did it. Captured my heart so easily. After my heart froze in a cube of ice, and surrounded itself with thick walls of cold steel. But she managed somehow to break these walls and melt that ice that was around my heart. I never thought that I could ever be this happy. But I am. And it's all because of her. _

It has been around a week since Kurenai overdosed her medication and got sick. Kakashi had returned safely from his mission about 2 days ago, and now was training with his team in the training field. Well, his team was the one who was training as he was sitting on the tree's branch and just watching over his protégés that were having a sparring match. And even though his precious book was wide open in the front of him, he found himself looking up at the blue sky, daydreaming about his crimson eyed princess with a smile on his face

"what's with Kakashi's sensei?" asked Naruto from the ground after finding his sensei drifting away in his thoughts

Sasuke and Sakura looked up to where Kakashi was sitting before they returned their attention to their blonde teammate "daydreaming" they said in unison

"but why is he smiling?" asked Naruto

_When you're in love you find yourself smiling for no obvious reason. Well, perhaps she….Kurenai is the reason why I'm smiling. Even though I wear that bloody mask on my face they still can see that I'm smiling. Sometimes I wonder when my students stares at me blankly, if they know that she has just crossed my mind._

"Naruto you're so dense" said Sakura "Kakashi sensei is in love, he's probably thinking about Kurenai sensei" she added with a smile "that's so romantic"

_My question is answered I guess. Then unexpectedly my prayers have also been answered when Kurenai appeared in our training spot._

"hey guys" greeted the genjustu mistress, Kakashi slowly closed his book and glanced down at her with a smile under his mask

"oh, hi Kurenai sensei" greeted Naruto

"what brings you here?" asked Sasuke

Kurenai smirked as her gaze went up the tree where Kakashi was still sitting "I have something to tell to the masked jonin up there"

"my ears are all yours" said Kakashi before he leapt off the tree and walked towards Kurenai "guys, you're free for the rest of the day" he said waving goodbye to his team

"now that's just rude" growled Naruto "aren't you supposed to teach us something?"

Kurenai chuckled before she looked at Naruto and spoke "Naruto, I gave my team a day off today"

Naruto's face brightened up as a smile came across his face "really?!! Then my hime is free for tonight. See ya later guys" he said excitedly before he stormed off somewhere, probably to where Hinata was

"we're off too" said Sakura and looked at Sasuke "um…Sasuke kun?"

"what?" asked the Uchiha coldly

"w..would you like to go to Ichiraku's? my treat" she suggested, her heart pimping fast hoping that Sasuke's answer will be yes

_"that's interesting" _thought both Kakashi and Kurenai while watching the scene

_Sasuke Uchiha. He reminds me of myself when I was at his age. I know that he's afraid of making bonds because he knows how it can hurt. But I hope that he'll also remember how it can make you happy. I know that deep inside of him he feels something towards the Haruno girl. He just doesn't want to admit it. But maybe this time……_

Sasuke was as usual silent and didn't say anything as he looked far into the training field, then he turned his head towards Sakura and ..…smiled?

_"oh my god_, _Sasuke Uchiha is smiling_" thought both Kakashi and Kurenai as they watched wide eyed the Uchiha boy smiling. Sakura was as shocked as the two jonins as she waited for her teammate to answer

"sure" said Sasuke with a smile "but it's my treat"

_Quick rewind. Sasuke Uchiha. He used to remind me of myself when I was at his age. He's not afraid to make bonds anymore. _

"I have never expected this" said Kakashi as he and Kurenai watched the two walking away towards Ichiarku's

"it's nice to see them together" said Kurenai before she wrapped her arms around Kakashi's and they started to walk

"finally. So what do you want to tell me?" he asked curiously

"first of all. Are you going to treat me to eat some dumplings?"

"well, you have to deserve it first" he said playfully as he looked at Kurenai from the corner of his eye

Kurenai smirked before she leaned in and kissed his cheek "there"

"it was through the mask it doesn't count" replied Kakashi with a grin

Kurenai just sighed and rolled her eyes before she stopped walking and stood in the front of him, lowering his mask down before kissing his cheek "now, did I deserve my dumplings?" she asked smiling

"it was on the cheek, it doesn't count either"

"fine" sighed Kurenai before wrapping her arms around his neck giving him a soft kiss, and after a couple of seconds she baked away "how about that?"

"hmm……it wasn't that bad"

"bastard" replied Kurenai playfully before leaning in again this time giving him a French kiss and after a minute she backed away

"so much better" spoke Kakashi grinning before sliding his mask up his face and continued his walk with Kurenai

After that, the two walked towards the dumplings shop and bought some. And as usual they ate them at the park while sitting on the bench

"thank you for the dumplings" thanked Kurenai smiling

"you're so much welcome" replied Kakashi before giving her a soft kiss

"now to the point" said Kurenai "do you remember when I told you that I want to show you a place near the water country?" she asked

"yup" replied Kakashi

"well, I got 2 days off. If you're free we can go there tomorrow"

"I have to see Tsunade sama first"

"let's do it now"

"now?"

"yeah" said Kurenai as she stood to her feet "c'mon, let's go" she added grabbing his hand and the two went towards the hokage's office.

The hokage was as usual overloaded with paperwork when Shizune entered her office after knocking

"Tsunade sama, Kakashi and Kurenai san want to talk with you"

"…………..."

"Tsunade sama?" called Shizune and took a closer look at the hokage who was sitting in her big chair behind the desk with her back to her

Shizune blinked in confusion before taking a couple of steps towards the hokage "….Tsunade sama?" she called again but the blonde hokage still reminded silent

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Shizune sighed when she found her master sleeping in the chair, she took a deep breath and shouted as loud as she could "TSUNADE SAMA!!!"

Tsunade's eyes snapped wide open and quickly stood to her feet "I don't have any money!!!"

Shizune giggled "shouldn't you be doing some paperwork?"

Tsunade cleared her throat and yawned lazily before she slumped into her chair "what do you want Shizune?" she asked

"Kakashi and Kurenai san are waiting outside"

"what do they want?"

"I don't know"

"let them in" ordered the Hokage, Shizune nodded and went to call the two jonins inside. A couple of seconds later, the couple entered the office followed by Shizune who came to stand next to the blonde with Tonton in her arms

"good afternoon hokage sama" greeted both Kakashi and Kurenai

"good afternoon" greeted Tsunade "what brings you here?"

"Kakashi wants to tell you something" said Kurenai while wrapping her arms around Kakashi's left arm

The hokage looked at the masked jonin "what is it Kakashi?" she asked raising her eyebrow

Kakashi rubbed his head as he spoke "…I would like to….to take two days off"

"what for?" asked the blonde

"we want to go the water country" answered Kurenai "please hokage sama, don't say no"

"Kakashi do you know that you're slacking lately. You should have took at least 25 missions this month but you've only completed 15" Tsunade spoke

"that would be my fault not his" said Kurenai as she looked up at Kakashi smiling

Kakashi smirked under his mask before he spoke "it's just two days hokage sama, besides 3 of them were s-ranked"

"don't make us beg you hokage sama. When we'll come back, Kakashi promises that he'll finish all your paperwork" said Kurenai grinning

Kakashi's eyes widened after hearing what his girlfriend just said, he looked at Kurenai from the corner of his eye and whispered "do you want to kill me?"

Kurenai's grin just went wider while Tsunde rubbed her chin "hmm, not doing paperwork? Sounds interesting, for how long?" she asked

"for one da-" Kakashi begun just to be cut by Kurenai

"week" she finished

"not doing paperwork for a whole week? I'm not so sure about it" spoke the hokage

_"I'm sorry Kurenai but you asked for this" _thought Kakashi with a smirk before he spoke "and Kurenai promises that she'll give you massages for the rest of the month"

Now Kurenai's eyes widened after hearing what her prince charming just said "I will KILL you Hatake" she whispered

"and tide up your office as well" added Kakashi with a grin

Tsunade thought for awhile before replaying "not doing paperwork, have a lot of massages, and get the office tided up. Hell yeah, I'll give you three days off then" exclaimed the hokage

"thank you" replied the couple in unison

"now if you don't have anything else to say get out. And Shizune…" called the blonde

Shizune looked at her master "what is it Tsunade sama?" she asked politely

"bring me a drink"

"hai"

Kakashi and Kurenai bowed before the two of them disappeared in a puff of smoke. As they walked through the streets of Konoha, they had a small talk about their trip to the country of water

"be ready tomorrow at 6 am" said Kurenai

"6 am?! Why so early?" asked Kakashi

"to be there by noon"

"but why's the rush? Tsunade sama gave us three days off"

"I know, but we'll only stay there for two days"

"why?"

"because…." Kurenai started to search for a good excuse, she couldn't spent 3 days in the water country due for having a check up in the hospital. After awhile of quick thinking she finally spoke "I can't leave Tora alone for so long"

"so you're not taking her with us?" asked Kakashi

"no"

"thanks god"

Kurenai giggled before saying "be sure to pack your swim trunks"

"we're going to swim?"

"sure thing"

The next day, the couple walked towards the water country. The place that Kurenai wanted to show to Kakashi was near the border, but they had to have some rest so they checked in a hotel that was in a small village in the water country.

"Kurenai! that's….a five stars hotel!" exclaimed Kakashi looking around as they entered into the hotel

"I know" replied Kurenai "oh there's the reception, let's check in" she added grabbing Kakashi's hand and dragged him towards the desk

"I'm not sure if we have enough money to stay here"

"shut up" said Kurenai sarcastically "ya think?"

"I'm sure I don't. do you?" he asked raising his eyebrow

Kurenai just grinned "just watch" she said as she made her attention towards the receptionist "good afternoon" she greeted with a smile

The woman behind the desk looked up at Kurenai "oh my god, Kurenai Yuhi?" she asked excitedly

"yup" replied Kurenai "it has been a long time"

"indeed" replied the woman happily

Kakashi just looked at the two, rubbing his head in confusion "you two know each other?" he asked

The woman looked at Kakashi before replaying "Kurenai Yuhi saved my little daughter's life. I could never thank her enough for doing this"

"I just did what I have to do. It was my duty as a ninja to do so" replied Kurenai

"still, you didn't have to do this. We're not even from your village" replied the woman

"what happened?" asked Kakashi

"well, I was coming back from my mission when I bumped into Akame san, her daughter was very sick so I treated her with my medical ninjutsu" explained Kurenai "everyone would have done it"

"trust me miss, not everyone" replied the woman "and as my gratitude, Kurenai san is always welcome here in this hotel" she added with a smile before handing a key over to Kurenai "room 305, here's the key. Enjoy staying here"

"thank you" replied Kurenai smiling as she took the key and made her way towards the room along with Kakashi.

The room was more than just beautiful. It was very big and had a big queen sized bed. The room also had a small kitchen and a big bathroom with a big bath tub.

"now that's what I like" said Kakashi as he threw himself on the big bed

"no time to waste Kakashi, wear your trunks and let's go" said Kurenai as she came to sit on the edge of the bed next to Kakashi "and one more thing "

"what is it?" asked Kakashi as he came to sit on the bed

"take off you stupid mask and leave it here" she answered grinning

"what for?"

"so I can kiss you whenever I want"

A big grin came across Kakashi face as he placed his hand on his mask and lowered it down before pressing his lips against Kurenai's for a long soft kiss "the mask is not a problem, I don't feel like taking it off and show my face to everyone"

"like if everyone would want to see your face, it's not Konoha" replied Kurenai

"but I still don't get it why you want me to take it off and leave it here?"

"I already told you, so I can kiss you whenever I want"

"but weren't you doing it before?"

Kurenai sighed before replaying "true, but it's kinda annoying when each time I want to kiss you I have to lower your mask down just so after the kiss you'll put it back on, and so on"

"and just because of that I should show my face to the whole village"

"pleeeease" pouted Kurenai "for me" she added in a sweet tone

Even the great Kakashi Hatake couldn't say no to that face "fine" he replied sighing "but just for today"

"fine with me" replied Kurenai with a triumphed grin "c'mon, let's go"

The two got out from the hotel and went towards the border. Kakashi was feeling a little uncomfortable as practically every girl he passed by was staring at his face…sighing, which to his surprise made Kurenai a little angry. After awhile of walking Kurenai finally stopped at the dock.

Kakashi blinked in confusion wondering where was Kurenai taking him "is that what you wanted to show me?" he asked rubbing his head

"of course no baka" replied Kurenai with a chuckle "the place we're going to can be reached only by water, so we're here to rent a boat or better a water scooter"

"a water scooter? You're kidding right?"

"no, why would I?"

"do you even know how to drive that thing?"

"sure thing" replied Kurenai proudly

"hahaha yeah right hahaha" replied Kakashi laughing creating a very angry look on Kurenai's face and after seeing her angry expression he begun to think that it might actually be a truth "haha..ha oh my god you do know how to drive"

Kurenai grinned proudly before grabbing his hand "they have lockers here, let's change and get going"

After they got dressed they rent one of the scooters that was waiting for them at the dock. Now it was time to go, Kurenai came to sit on the scooter first "jump in" she said smiling looking up at Kakashi who was still standing on the land

"are you sure you know how to drive this?" he asked

"don't tell me that you're afraid?" teased Kurenai

"you can easily kill us ya know, why just not to go there by foot? We're ninjas, we can walk on water"

Kurenai just rolled her eyes before replying "walking is no fun at all, besides it'll take ages before we'll get there. And don't worry about your pretty face, I know how to drive this"

"I should be the one telling you this" replied Kakashi sighing

"I'll teach you later, now let's go" said Kurenai, Kakashi nodded and came to sit on the scooter behind Kurenai, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek from behind before they took off in a high speed.

After a couple of minutes they finally stopped at a small island "here we are" said Kurenai as she hit the shore and got off the scooter "and you're still alive" she added sarcastically

"ha ha go ahead make fun of me" replied Kakashi before he got off from the scooter and stood on the sand looking around, the island looked small but very beautiful. The sand was pure white and the water crystal clear. Deep inside the island was a forest that was ending with high cliffs "it's so beautiful. So that's the place?"

"more or less"

"what do you mean?"

"there's something that I want to show you inside the forest but for now let's go swimming. I bet that I'm a better swimmer than you" said Kurenai with a smug and ran into the water

"oh don't be so sure" replied Kakashi playfully and chased after Kurenai

After about an hour of playing in the water, Kakashi swung up Kurenai in his arms and got out "I won" he said proudly before crushing his lips against hers in a deep kiss as he gently placed her on the sand

"you won? I don't remember saying that it was a competition" replied Kurenai after breaking the kiss

"I don't remember you saying that it wasn't a competition either" said Kakashi grinning before he leaned in and gave her a passionate kiss as he sat next to her on the sand

"fine fine, you won. You're a better swimmer than me" replied Kurenai admitting her defeat

"what's next?"

"there's a beautiful lagoon deep inside the forest that I want to show to you. Let's go before it'll get dark" she said as she stood to her feet followed by Kakashi.

After 10 minutes of walking through the bushes they finally made it to the lagoon that was surrounded by high cliffs. Its' water was blue and some lilies and other beautiful plants that fell from the trees were lazily floating on it. Kakashi also noticed a small chapel located high on the cliff "I thought that this is a deserted island" he spoke as he kept his gaze on the chapel

"if you'll not count the monk that is living up there then you can call it a deserted island" replied Kurenai

"how did you find this place?" asked Kakashi returning to look at Kurenai

"by accident. I was supposed to find a criminal who hid himself in that chapel"

"and did you get him?"

"what do you think?"

"I think that you look beautiful"

A shade of pink came on Kurenai's cheeks "thank you" she said smiling

"when you're wet of course" he added grinning

Kurenai already knew what he was going to do, but before she could even take a step back, Kakashi lifted her up in his arms again and dove with her into the lagoon. As they were under the water, Kakashi brought his lips closer to Kurenai's and took them in a long kiss until they emerged through the surface

"baka" grumbled Kurenai and splashed him with water

Kakashi just laughed before he wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer to him "what? you're not afraid that a snake will come and bite you?" he asked smirking

"very funny Kakashi. If you haven't noticed the water is a little cold here"

"no problem, I'll keep you warm" replied Kakashi playfully before he leaned in for a long and tender kiss. Kurenai brought her arms around his neck as he gently traced his tongue on her lower lip before sliding it inside, enjoying tasting every inch of her mouth. After awhile they backed away, still embraced, they gazed into each others' eyes as a silence went between them which Kurenai broke it

"there's an urban legend going around this place you know"

"let me guess. A monster swims in this lagoon waiting to kidnap a crimson eyed princess to imprison her in the chapel up there until a brave silver haired prince will come and rescue the princess who will promise to love him till the end"

"a brave silver haired prince?"

"a brave and gorgeously handsome silver haired prince"

"lucky is the princess who will have that prince"

"lucky is the prince who will have that princess" replied Kakashi with a smirk before he leaned in and gave her a soft kiss

"that's very interesting but it's not what I wanted to say. The legend says that when two people kiss each other when the bells in that chapel rings, they'll always be together and their love will last forever"

"and do you believe in that?"

"I have a girl in my team that can see through the walls and one of your students have a nine tiled monster sealed in him. Why wouldn't I?"

"you know, after all it's just a legend" replied Kakashi before his gaze went to the chapel on the cliff, then out of the sudden the bells in the chapel started to ring. Kakashi smiled to himself before he looked at Kurenai again "always together huh?"

"you know it's just a legend" replied Kurenai smiling before Kakashi leaned in and gently pressed his lips against hers in a long and tender kiss.

As the bells stopped ringing they broke the kiss and gazed at each other for awhile "I love you" said Kakashi

A wide smile came across Kurenai's face "I love you too Kakashi" she said softly before giving him a soft kiss

As Kakashi had his arms still wrapped around Kurenai he could feel her shivering slightly. It was true that the water was a little cold and the last thing he wanted now is him or her to get a cold "let's go back to the beach" he said kissing her cheek. Kurenai nodded and the two swum to the shore and made their way towards the beach.

The couple have spent all their day on the island, enjoying the ocean breeze and the warm summer sun until it set on the horizon and after that they returned to the hotel. The night fell and Kurenai was having a long bubble bath with a lot of foam in the tub while reading a book

"then Junko said: I think I'm going to lose sight of you……..hahahahahaha" she burst out laughing after reading the last line from Kakashi's book

"what's so funny" came Kakashi's voice who just entered the bathroom, dressed in his baggy pants holding two glasses of champagne

"what are you doing here Hatake?" asked Kurenai trying to hide the title of the book

"you're sitting here for over one hour so I thought that you probably got thirsty"

"I'll ask you one more time, what are you doing here?"

"if you don't want anyone to come inside just make sure to close the door next time" replied Kakashi grinning as he came to sit on the edge of the tub, then a green shiny color caught his eyes "wait a minute. Isn't that my book?!"

Kurenai innocently looked at the book before looking up at Kakashi "no"

"yes it is! it's Icha Icha tactics!! Be careful or you'll wet it!!" he yelled with terror in his eyes just of thinking that his book may end up in the tub

"don't worry Kakashi" replied Kurenai chuckling "I was just reading your precious book" she said placing the book on the drawer behind her "there, it's safe now. Now I can cross out another thing from my list"

"so did you find out what's so interesting in it?" asked Kakashi handing the glass of champagne over to Kurenai

"yup"

"….and what is it?"

"nothing" replied Kurenai creating a very shocked expression on Kakashi's face

"WHAT?! how can you say that? You are sitting here for an hour reading my book just to say that there's nothing interesting in it!"

"because there's nothing interesting in it. But I have to admit that it's kinda funny"

"have you read chapter 4?"

"nope. I only read the first one"

"then you don't know what happened to Natsuki"

"who's Natsuki?" asked Kurenai curiously

A grin came across Kakashi's face "you'll find out in chapter 3"

"just don't tell me that Junko cheated on Akane?"

"that you'll find out in chapter 2"

Kurenai quickly moved her arm over her head to reach the drawer with the book but Kakashi stopped her "haven't you told me that there's nothing interesting in it?" he asked grinning

"but I have to know if Junko really cheated on Akane" replied Kurenai

"he did"

"nooo you spoiled it for me" replied Kurenai as Kakashi burst out laughing "bastard" she added splashing the champagne all over his hair

"hey!" called Kakashi before he splashed his own champagne all over her

"you're so dead" she said playfully before she stared splashing him with water, Kakashi shrieked and as he was about to stand up he flipped and fell into the tub

"ow ah hot hot hot"

Kurenai just laughed before she grabbed Kakashi head and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

_I was crazy. She made me crazy. I just love her so much. I love every little thing abut her. Her cute smile. Her magical eyes. The sound of her voice….ok I know that I'm repeating myself now, but I just can't find enough words that will describe what I'm feeling when I'm touched by her gentle touch. The warmth that I'm feeling when I'm by her side. I love each and every moment that I share with her. Unfortunately my Icha Icha tactics ended up in the tub, and now it's just useless to read, but I don't care. I don't care as long as I have Kurenai with me. She is that special person that knows the song of my heart. She is just the best thing that have ever happened to me._

* * *

That's it for this chapter. I hope you liked it. Review please ^_^The drama starts from the next chapter so be sure to read it. thanks a lot for all of you who are reviewing and I hope you like the story so far.

See ya ^_^


	9. The Break Up

_Change…it can happen so quickly. Sometimes it can be so constant that you don't even feel the difference until there is. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life becomes better or….. worse, blowing you away, making you something different in an instant. I have spent a wonderful summer with Kurenai. Those three beautiful months that I will always remember will be engraved in my memory and my heart forever …there was so much love and passion between us that can never be compared to anything else in the world. Who would've even guessed that something could go wrong. I guess that there's a time for everything. A time to seek….A time to lose. A time to keep, and a time to throw away. A time to love……and a time to hate. _

It was fall. A cool breeze hanged in the air and the green leaves already turned gold, brown and yellow as they lazily fell from the trees and onto the ground. The flowers begun to die, and some animals have started preparing themselves to welcome the cold winter. And as the weather changed so does some things in Konoha. Things that were about to change the lives of some people forever.

Kakashi was sitting on the edge of the river with his gaze on the moon's reflection on the water. It was a cool and calm night. The sky was clear and the stars were shining above him, reminding him of the nights spent with Kurenai under the dark sky as the night breeze gently stroke his face. Although he was wearing a calm expression, his heart was hurting…. crying….. being tore apart _"how could you do this to me Kurenai?" _he thought eyeing the ring that he held in his hand. The ring that he was going to give her that same day when everything came to an end. The day she told him that she loves another.

_**Earlier in the morning **_

Kurenai was having a conversation in the hokage's hospital office, as Tsunade spoke with her Kurenai's eyes went wet and a single tear rolled down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away

"I'm so sorry Kurenai" spoke the blonde in a low tone

Kurenai looked up from her lap and gave a weary smile "..i..it's ok. It's not like I didn't expect this"

"I'm waiting for Jiraiya to come back from Suna. He's going to bring to me all the researches that have been done there around this illness and I hope that it can help i-" as Tsunade spoke Kurenai cut her off

"don't bother yourself. It probably won't work anyway"

"Kurenai, don't say that. Maybe this treatment didn't work as I planned but I'm sure that the next one will"

"I've been hearing the same statement for the past three years. I'm just…..so tired of all of this. I don't want to spent the rest of whatever I've left from my life going in and out of the hospital"

"Kurenai….I know that it's hard to go through all of this, but have faith in me. I have promised you that I'll find a cure for this damn cancer and I will"

Kurenai gave a heavy sigh as she kept her gaze on the floor "has Anko returned from her mission?"

"no, but she should come back tomorrow morning"

"well, I think I should go now" replied Kurenai softly as she stood to her feet and made her way towards the door

"and Kurenai…."

Kurenai stopped and placed her hand on the knob "yes?" she asked with her back to the hokage

"you should tell Kakashi"

Kurenai didn't replay and stayed silent as she stood with her back still to the hokage getting lost in her thoughts, after awhile she shook her head and opened the door before leaving the office with no word. She wanted to cry. She wanted to bury her face into Kakashi's chest and cry her heart out. But as she stepped outside the office, as always she found Asuma instead

"and? How did it go?" Asuma asked throwing away his cigarette

"I didn't know that you were waiting for me" replied Kurenai softly

"I'm always waiting for you Kurenai" he replied before he noticed Kurenai's sad expression "Kurenai? is….everything ok?" he asked with concern

Kurenai went silent and looked to the ground with a glossy look, Asuma already knew that something was wrong and without even thinking he found himself wrapping his arms around his friend and hugged her tight to his chest, that's when Kurenai's emotions broke loose and she begin to cry

"everything is going to be ok Kurenai, don't cry" said Asuma softly while gently stroking her hair

Kurenai didn't replay and just buried her head in his chest sobbing, after a couple of minutes she finally calmed herself and pulled away "……I'm sorry Asuma"

"what are you sorry for?"

"I must be a burden on you" she replied looking to the ground

"no you're not" replied Asuma before lifting her chin with his hand "don't think like that ever again" Kurenai didn't replay again and looked away "let's go home, you need to rest"

Kurenai silently nodded and made her way towards her apartment.

When they finally reached their apartment Tora happily welcomed Kurenai, the dog was now three month old and was rather the quite type

"hey" greeted Kurenai with a weary smile as she kneeled down and begun to pet her dog

"do you want to bring you something?" asked Asuma

Kurenai looked up at her roommate before replaying "no, thank you Asuma"

"are you sure?"

"yeah, I just want to rest in my room"

"ok" replied Asuma as Kurenai stood to her feet and made her way towards her room with Tora following behind. She laid in her bed on her side lost in her thoughts while rubbing Tora's head who was peacefully laying next to her master. Hours have passed and Kurenai finally decided what she should do. Wiping her tears away she stood to her feet and got out of her room. She found Asuma in kitchen making some tea

"I made you some tea" said Asuma as Kurenai stepped into the kitchen

Kurenai came to sit by the table "thank you" she replied softly before Asuma placed the cup in the front of her and he himself came to sit

"are you going to tell Kakashi about it?"

Kurenai was silent for awhile before replaying "no"

Asuma was surprised by her answer "but-" he begun just to be cut off by Kurenai

"you were right. I should've have never given him any hope. I should've never let it go so far"

"what do you mean?"

"I should have ended this relationship a long time ago"

"you want to break up with him?"

Kurenai's eyes went wet again as she took a deep breath and spoke in a trembling tone "it's not that I want to….but…..I have to"

"Kurenai don't do it. Just tell him that you're sick"

"I'm not sick Asuma….. I'm dying"

"no you're not. Don't say that"

"YES I AM" replied with Kurenai as tears begun to roll down her cheeks "the treatment stopped working. With the current medication Tsunade sama has given me one year at best. What would you call that Asuma?!!"

"Kurenai….." Asuma didn't know how to replay, he searched for the words in his head but he couldn't find any. He has been beside Kurenai from the moment she got sick, and he knew that she was getting tired of all of this treatment that always never seemed to work. He kept staring at her beautiful crimson eyes that were filled with tears. After a moment of silence he finally spoke "what are you going to tell him? I mean….you'll just go and tell him that you break up with him?"

"I have thought about it and I'll need your help"

"my help?"

It was evening. The sun begun to set on the horizon and Kurenai was having a walk around Konoha. Lost in her thoughts, thinking about how she should tell Kakashi that she wants to brake up with him. She knew that it won't be easy. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him, but she thought that if she'll break up with him now it'll be easier for him to deal with her death later. If he'll hate her, he'll not care whether she is alive or dead.

As she continued her slow pace around the village she passed by an old, big oak tree that was growing on a hill. She stopped walking and gazed at the big tree remembering something. It was the place where she and Kakashi first met. She was 15 years old back then, she always used to sit under that oak and draw something. One day she lost her drawing pencil and she came to this place looking for it

_**~Flashback~ **_

_"where could it be?" the 15 year old Kurenai asked herself as she scanned carefully the ground under the oak_

_"you're looking for something?" came a voice somewhere from the tree _

_Kurenai looked up and saw a silver haired boy, sitting on the oak's branch "oh hi" she greeted with a smile_

_"hi" replied Kakashi lazily before he leapt off the tree _

_"what are you doing here?"_

_"I was training and decided to have some rest" replied the boy "how about you?" _

_"I lost my pencil somewhere and I came here looking for it" _

_"why just not to buy a new one?"_

_"because this is a special pencil that I use for sketching, you can't buy it everywhere" _

_"oh I see…..um…do you want me to help you looking for it?" he asked rubbing his head nervously, hiding his pink blush under his mask_

_"sure" replied Kurenai with a big smile_

_After awhile of searching, Kakashi was the one who found the pencil "is this it?" he asked as he stood to his feet holding up the pencil in his hand_

_Kurenai came closer to Kakashi and glanced at the pencil that he was holding "yup, that's it. thanks a lot" she replied taking back the pencil _

_"you're welcome" replied Kakashi _

_"well….I'll better go now. thanks again for helping me out" said Kurenai smiling before she quickly leaned in and kissed Kakashi's cheek, even though he was wearing a mask "bye" she added blushing before she ran away leaving a very shocked Kakashi, but after taking a couple of steps forward she stopped and turned back "I'm Kurenai Yuhi by the way"_

_"and I'm-"_

_"Kakashi Hatake right?" she finished smiling _

_"how did you know?" asked Kakashi _

_"I have my ways" replied Kurenai smirking "see ya later Kakashi. Bye"_

_"bye" _

_**~End of Flashback~ **_

Kurenai sighed heavily and looked to the ground, then suddenly she felt someone wrapping his arms from behind and kissed her cheek

"hey beautiful" greeted Kakashi with a smile

"K..Kakashi?"

Kakashi smiled as he pulled away and came in the front of her taking her hands in his "I've missed you" he said softly leaning in but before their lips could met Kurenai moved her head away

"we need to talk" she said pulling her hands away from his

_Something was wrong. I could see it in her eyes. I could feel it in her voice. If I just knew what she was going to tell me that day….if I just knew that my life will crush down on me in a speed of light…..if I just knew that it'll hurt so much…_

"Kurenai…..what's wrong?"

Kurenai took a deep breath before she begun "Kakashi….those….past couple of months were…..really amazing. I don't know how to thank you. I have really enjoyed every moment spent with you……but as time goes by….things…..change…….people change"

"Kurenai you ar-"

"just let me finish Kakashi. Feelings also change. And I just think that….we shouldn't be together anymore"

_When I heard that I couldn't breath. I felt a sharp pain in my chest as if she took a kunai and stabbed it right into my heart. I felt my heart stopping beating as million of thoughts ran through my mind. What was the reason? _

"..w…why?" asked Kakashi with a shocked expression on his face "…I..I love you. And you love me…right?"

Kurenai was silent as she kept fighting the tears that started to form in her eyes _"I do love you Kakashi……so much….but that's why I'm doing this" _she thought to herself trying her best to hold her tears

"…don't stay silent. Just…..say something"

"………………."

"Kurenai"

"I'm sorry" she replied in a trembling tone, her eyes going wet "I'm sorry to make you fall in love with me. But….I hope that was can still stay friends"

"Kurenai I don't want to be just your friend"

"Kakashi please….I…..love…….Asuma" Kakashi's eyes widened upon hearing this as she continued "he told me that he loves me……and…….well…..deep inside myself……I think I've always loved him too" what Kurenai thought was a lie was more than just true. She didn't know that Asuma loves her, she didn't have a clue about it.

But Kakashi did know, and now he also realized that he just lost his love. There was an awkward silence between the two, Kurenai kept her gaze on Kakashi who was still shocked from what he just heard

"Kakashi….."

"just……don't…say…anything" he replied before he turned his back to her and took a couple of steps away before he spoke "I wish to you a lot of happiness with him"

Kurenai couldn't hold anymore and the tears started to heavily fall down her cheeks. Tears that Kakashi couldn't see as he still had his back to her "….K..KaKa-"

"DON'T…..say anything. Just don't. Go..back to him. He's probably waiting for you" with those last words, Kakashi took off leaving Kurenai alone.

_**The present time **_

_It really hurts when you expected something else from the person you love. It hurts so much when the one you love the most breaks your heart. Now I sit awake in the middle of the night, holding the ring that I hoped she would accept. I was going to propose to her that day, it should have been one of my happiest days… ironically..she said those words that shattered my life..my heart into million pieces. It's just weird when you have a picture of how something's gonna be, and it turns out completely different. I just wanted to forget everything….I wanted to forget her. Bt trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew._

It was getting cold and it was time to go home. Kakashi finally stood to his feet and glanced one last time at the ring before throwing it in the river. He watched it for awhile as it sank along with his heart, deep into the dark bottom. Sighing heavily, he slid his hands into his pockets and slowly walked back to his apartment.

Kakashi wasn't the only one hurting, he didn't know that Kurenai was in her room, hugging her pillow as she laid in her bed sobbing. The sobs were so loud that Tora herself started to howl slightly. Asuma could also hear Kurenai's sobs from his room. It tore his heart to hear her crying….to see her hurting that much. He got out from his room and made his way towards Kurenai's

Asuma knocked on the door before he opened it "Kurenai…please don't cry" he said softly

"…I hate myself…..I…just want to die" replied Kurenai sobbing

"don't say that"

Kurenai slowly came to sit on her bed and looked up at Asuma with tears heavily streaming down her face "I hurt the only person that I really love. He probably hates me……I know…..I know that I shouldn't cry now because that's what I wanted…but….I just…..didn't know that it'll be so hard…..that…it'll hurt so much" she said between her sobs "and you…..how can you still stay with me?.....I'm using you just to push Kakashi away. Are you ok with that?!"

"we're…friends Kurenai"

"I don't deserve your friendship….. I don't deserve anything….I can't understand why are you doing this?….or how can you stand me?….I'm such a burden on you…..you have been always helping me Asuma….and…I really appreciate it. But you don't have to do this…not for me"

"you still haven't figured it out why I'm doing this?" asked Asuma calmly

"what do you mean?" asked Kurenai confused

"….Kurenai…….I…."

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Well, that's it for this chapter. Review please ^_^


	10. Breaking Loose

"you still haven't figured it out yet why I'm doing this?"

"what do you mean?"

"Kurenai…..I…..I…" Asuma was hesitating, he didn't know if he should open up to Kurenai about his feelings in a time like this but from the other side did he have something to lose?

Kurenai stared at Asuma blankly wondering what is he trying to say "what is it….Asuma?" she asked confused, with tears still slowly falling down her face

Asuma had his gaze on the floor, rubbing his head thinking about the right words that he should say. There was a silence for a while between the two before he looked up at Kurenai again and clearing his throat he finally spoke "it's because I love you Kurenai"

Kurenai blinked in confusion "..you..you mean like a sister..right?" she asked keeping her gaze on her friend waiting for his answer

Asuma went silent again and just kept his gaze on Kurenai, he shook his head no and looked to the ground

Kurenai's eyes widened after seeing this, her friend..her best friend…her roommate was in love with her "..s..since when?" she asked with in a shocked tone

There was a short pause before Asuma looked up at her and spoke "I don't know..I guess it was since we became friends….I've always loved you Kurenai..and I still do…with all my heart. But I never told you anything because you were in love with Kakashi. And I knew that you'll never see in me anyone else but a good friend"

Kurenai couldn't believe it "y..you….all this time…you…" she stuttered looking wide eyed at her friend who had just confessed his feelings to her

"Kurenai.." Asuma begun as he took a couple of steps forward towards Kurenai and kneeled in front of her "I know that you'll find it hard to believe in this but it's true. I love you" he said softly placing his hand on hers "and if there's any chance that you'll be able to fall in lo-"

"stop it!" Kurenai cut him off by taking her hand away and quickly stood to her feet making her way towards the door, before she got out she turned around and looked at Asuma. Her eyes puffy still shedding tears "I can't deal with all of that…..I just can't…not now" she said before she turned towards the door and stepped outside

"Kurenai..where are you going?" asked Asuma as he stood to his feet and followed Kurenai through the hall

"I need some fresh air" she replied and got out from her apartment along with Tora

It was past 12 and all the streets were empty by that time. Kurenai was sitting on a bench alone with Tora who sat silently next to her leg. The night breeze stroke her face drying her tears on her red cheeks. She kept her gaze on the floor, lost in her thoughts , shivering slightly from the cold breeze. Then her thoughts were cut off as well as the silence around her

"I'm out for a mission for 4 months and I came back to be welcomed by a crying friend. I hope that those tears are because you missed me"

Kurenai looked up to see no other than her friend Anko "A..Anko? Tsunade sama have told me that you'll come back in the morning"

"well, that was the plan. But I couldn't wait to come back so I decided to continue my pace after the sun set. Besides I think that it's the best time to see if Iruka is having some 'fun' with someone else, don't you think?"

A small smile came across Kurenai's face "don't worry about that. From what I saw and heard he has been faithful to you" she replied

"ah, it's nice to be home" said Anko as she came to sit on the bench next to Kurenai, then her gaze went to the black lab that welcomed her happily "and who's that?"

"that's Tora" replied Kurenai

"so you finally got a dog"

"I got it from….."Kurenai went silent and looked to the ground

"from who?" asked Anko curiously

There was a short pause between the two before Kurenai spoke "from..Kakashi"

Anko had noticed that there was something wrong with her friend, it was obvious that she was very sad but what could've caused that? "Kurenai…is everything ok?" she asked with concern

Kurenai looked up at her friend and smiled before replaying "yeah, I'm fine Anko"

"you don't look fine to me"

"I'm fine. How was the mission?"

"don't change the subject Kurenai, I know that there's something wrong"

"you're probably tired. You should go home and have some rest"

"Kurenai"

"what?"

"why are you sad?"

"I'm not sad. What makes you think that I'm sad?" replied Kurenai forcing a fake smile on her face

"you have always been a happy person Kurenai. I know that there's something wrong with you. what is it?"

Kurenais sighed and looked to the ground, there was no way she could win against Anko, but opening up to her now when she just came back for her mission wasn't very appropriate "look Anko" she begun returning her attention to her friend "a lot happened in the past couple of months . And I have a lot of things that I want to talk with you about. But not now. Maybe some other day. You just came back and I'm sure that you're very tired. Besides, Iruka probably missed you a lot and I'm sure that he can't wait to see you"

"and after hearing all of this you think that I'll let you go before explain everything to me? ha! no way Yuhi. Iruka can wait, and I'm not tired at all"

"Anko.."

"no buts Kurenai. C'mon, tell me what's wrong?"

"Anko it's not the time or the place to talk about that. We'll talk later"

"you're right about the place. Let's go to my apartment and talk there" replied Anko as she stood to her feet "c'mon, stand up. We'll have a sleepover"

"but you live with Iruka"

"so what? we have two bedrooms. Don't worry, no one will end up on the couch. Well, maybe only Tora will end up on the couch, she can come with us as well of course"

"but Iruka is allergic to dogs, have you forgot?"

"an allergy? It's just an itchy rash nothing else"

"Anko"

"ok maybe his eyes looks like if they were about to pop out from his sockets. He can't stop sneezing. And the red rash is the ugliest thing I have ever seen in my whole life. But he can live with it"

The argument didn't last for too long as Kurenai already was in a lost position. The two walked towards Anko's apartment and after awhile of walking they finally got there. Anko had lost the keys during the mission so she had to knock on the door, after awhile of waiting Iruka finally opened

"…who..is…it?" he asked sleepily with half closed eyes before he felt someone's lips on his locking them in a deep kiss

"I've missed you" said Anko smiling after she pulled away

"Anko? You're back!" exclaimed Iruka happily before wrapping his arms around his girlfriend hugging her tight "I've missed you too. That's a nice surprise, I thought that you'll come back in the morning"

"well, there had been a change in the plan" replied Anko pulling away "we have a guest"

"a guest?" asked Iruka before noticing Kurenai standing behind Anko

"sorry" said Kurenai feeling a little embarrassed

"no problem. Co…com..come in…achoo" finished Iruka sneezing

Anko grinned as she steeped inside "bless ya"

"thanks" replied Iruka before he noticed a black swinging tail "whoa! What's this?" he asked pointing at the black dog behind Kurenai's legs

"that's a dog Iruka" answered Anko "come in Kurenai"

"but *itch* I'm *itch* allergic *itch, itch* to dogs" finished Iruka scratching his itching arms, face and neck

"don't worry Iruka. Tora will stay outside. Right Tora?" asked Kurenai looking down at her pup

"rugh, rugh"

"good dog" replied Kurenai

"are you sure Kurenai she'll not get a cold?" asked Anko

"achoo, achoo *itch, itch* achoo"

Kurenai looked at poor Iruka before looking back at Anko "I'm sure. Besides, I don't think that I want to see his eyes popping out from his sockets"

"ok, that's even better. Because if he'll not stop scratching himself I'll kill him" replied Anko as Kurenai steeped inside leaving Tora outside

"it's *itch* not my…achoo…fault" replied Iruka

"I know. But seeing you like that makes me feel itchy" replied Anko "well Kurenai, make yourself comfortable, you can wait for me in the guest room. I'll take a quick shower and I'll join you in a minute"

Kurenai nodded and made her way towards the room. It wasn't her first time in Anko's apartment so she knew where to go. After about 15 minutes Anko got out from the shower and went to the guest room to talk with Kurenai

"I'm back. I brought you a t-shirt and some shorts, perhaps you would like to change into something more comfortable" said Anko as she stepped inside the room where Kurenai was sitting on the bed

"thanks" replied Kurenai

"so?"

"I'm sorry Anko to bother you so late at night"

"you're not bothering me at all, we're friends don't forget that"

"I don't know from where I should start" Kurenai begun softly and explained everything to Anko about how she and Kakashi got together as well as how she broke up with him, but not telling her the reason why she did so

"I don't understand" replied Anko "you were always so in love with him. And you said that you two were very happy. So why did you break up with him?"

Kurenai was silent for awhile before she took deep breath and spoke "because…I didn't want him to stay with me out of pity….because…..I want him to remember me….how……I loved life" she finished with tears in her eyes

"what..what do you mean Kurenai?" asked Anko confused

Kurenai looked up at her friend as the tears begun to fall down her cheeks "Anko..I'm….I'm dying"

"what…..what do you mean…….you're dying?"

"I have a cancer" replied Kurenai

Anko's heart fell to the ground after hearing this, her eyes became wet as well and tears begun to fall down her cheeks "…you're kidding right?....that's…just a joke right?"

Kurenai shook her head no and wiped her tears just so new one could start to fall "only Tsunade sama and Asuma know about it…..I…..I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that before…but…but I thought that…..that I'll recover and….I didn't want…to worry…any of you"

"oh my god…..oh..my god" that's all what Anko said before she burst out in tears and hugged her friend tight

"I couldn't tell it to Kakashi….I just couldn't…..and now he probably hates me because I told him that Asuma told me that he loves me and that I love him too…..but I didn't know that….that Asuma…..Asuma he…..just told me that….that he really loves me…..for all these years….he has been in love with…with me….I…don't know what to think about it…..I've always thought about him as a friend..and now…he….he just confessed…..I don't know what am I suppose to do?....I'm so tired……I just can't handle all of this….I can't do this Anko….I can't….it's too much…..it's just…..too much" she finished sobbing

It has been a long and emotional night for the two friends, but Kurenai felt a little relieved to finally let all the things out. Eventually she cried herself to sleep and Anko placed her in the bed before she herself went back to her bedroom and fell asleep.

Kurenai woke up early in the morning _"I should go home" _she thought as she got up from the bed and made her way towards the bathroom first. As she got out she found Anko in the hall who also just woke up

"good morning Kurenai" greeted Anko with a warm smile

"good morning" replied Kurenai giving a small smile in return

"what will you eat on breakfast?"

"thank you Anko, but I'll better go home now"

"at least eat something before you'll go"

"don't trouble yourself Anko"

"it's not a trouble at all and you know that? Maybe you want to stay with me for a couple of days, how about it? I'm sure that it's not easy on you to talk with Asuma for now"

"you're right" replied Kurenai "but-"

"no buts. Go, pack your stuff and come back here. I'll be waiting for you" said Anko with authority. Once again, Kurenai couldn't win against her friend and after a second thought it was the best thing she could do right now "but right after the breakfast" added Anko dragging Kurenai towards the kitchen.

After the breakfast, Kurenai made her way towards her apartment. When she got inside, she found a worried Asuma waiting for her in the living room

"Kurenai! where were you all night? I was worried"

"I'm sorry. I was at Anko's" replied Kurenai in a low tone

"so she came back from her mission?" asked Asuma, Kurenai just nodded before silence went between the two. Kurenai just kept her gaze on the floor and Asuma was the one who broke the silence

"I'm….I'm sorry about last night Kurenai…."

Kurenai looked up from the ground and was silent for awhile before she spoke "for what are you sorry for? You just told what are your feelings that's all"

"…I…"

"just don't say anything else. Not now. I….I'm not ready for this. I'm going to spend a couple of days at Anko's. I'm just here to pack some stuff"

"oh…ok" replied Asuma as Kurenai made her way towards her room.

_It has been a week….a week since I and Kurenai broke up. And it didn't get any better. I haven't felt any better. My heart still longs for her. My soul dies for her. My empty arms reach out for her. And no matter how hard I try to not think of her…to just forget everything…I find myself unable to do that. I just can't get her out of my mind which only makes me hurt more. It hurts even to breath as every breath I take proves that I can't live without her. A heart can be broken…but it keeps beating just the same. _

It was late afternoon and Kakashi was standing in the front of the memorial stone. Lost in his deep thoughts. Naruto and Hinata were passing by when Naruto saw his sensei standing there. it was nothing unusual to see Kakashi by the memorial stone, as it was the place where you could always find him. But even Naruto could notice that his sensei was very sad for the past week and he could only suspect that it had something to do with Kurenai.

As he and Hinata continued their walk, Naruto gave a heavy sigh and looked to the ground

"what is it Naruto kun?" asked Hinata

"do you know if something happened between Kakashi sensei and Kurenai?"

"I don't know" replied Hinata "why are you asking?"

"Kakashi sensei has been lately very sad. I was just wondering if it had something to do with Kurenai sensei?"

"well, when you come to think of it, Kurenai sensei has also been very sad lately. And I haven't seen the two together for the last week"

"then….you think that they broke up?"

"maybe…I don't know"

"but..why? I mean…they were very happy together"

"that's true…you know what, I'll talk to Kurenai sensei. Maybe we could help them if we'll find out what's wrong" explained Hinata "and you go and try to talk to Kakashi sensei"

"I already tried several times. He always says that he's fine and then disappears" replied Naruto sighing

"I see…well, maybe Kurenai sensei will tell us something. Are you going with me?"

"I wish, but I can't. Granny Tsunade wants me in her office in a couple of minutes" replied Naruto

"then I'll go by myself. I'll see you later" said Hinata before kissing Naruto's cheek and went to look for her sensei.

Meanwhile, Kurenai was in her workshop trying to paint something, but whatever she tried to do it just didn't come out good

"that's just useless" sighed Kurenai throwing another of her unfinished painting into the can. She looked to the ground and kept her gaze on the floor for awhile, before she lifted her head up and looked around

_**~Flashback~ **_

_"ok, open your eyes" said Kakashi cheerfully "happy birthday" _

_Kurenai slowly opened her eyes "….oh..my..god!!!!" she exclaimed happily as her jaw dropped at the sight of a fully geared workshop_

_"here you have a couple of easels with different sized painting boards. A whole set of painting brushes. I just discovered that there are so many types of them. Also here you have different types of paints. I didn't know which one do you use so here you have oil paints, water paints, gloss paints, acrylic paints and many other that I don't even know their names, but I'm sure you'll not have any problems in recognizing them. And here you have all the different tools used for painting, sketching and drawing like canvas, palettes, pencils, varnishes and others. And this one here…" he added as he gently grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest right above his heart "is a heart….my heart, and it's yours now" he said smiling_

_**~End Of Flashback~ **_

After remembering this, Kurenai's eyes went wet before tears begun to roll down her cheeks. A knock on the door shook her up from her thoughts "come in" she said, quickly wiping her tears

It was Hinata, the Hyuga heiress stepped inside with a smile on her face "hi"

"h..hi Hinata. It's nice to see you" replied Kurenai with a small smile

"Kurenai sensei….you were..crying?"

"no, something just got caught in my eye. Here, have a seat" said Kurenai and brought up a chair for her student

"I..I just wanted to ask you something"

"what is it Hinata?"

"well…." Hinata begun softly before she continued "I just wanted to ask if everything is ok?" she asked with concern

"everything is…fine Hinata"

"are you sure?"

"yeah, why are you asking?"

"because….you have been very sad lately. And so is Kakashi sensei"

"Kakashi?....h..how is he doing?"

"he says that he's fine, but….to tell you the truth he doesn't look like he's fine, so I thought that maybe something…happened between the two of you"

"we….well…let's just say that things just didn't work out for us"

"but-"

"Hinata please…I don't want to talk about it"

"I'm..sorry sensei. I just…."

"I know, you don't have to be sorry. Thanks for your concern"

"you'll be ok sensei?"

"yeah, don't worry Hinata. I'll be fine"

"then…I guess I'll go now. Do you need anything?"

"no, thank you" replied Kurenai with a smile

"bye"

"bye" with that the Hyuga heiress got out leaving Kurenai alone in the workshop, but not for too long as Kurenai herself decided to have a walk.

The sun started to set on the horizon and Kurenai continued her walk around the village, she was passing by the park when unexpectedly she saw Kakashi at the end of the road. It was the first time when she saw him after they broke up, she felt a sharp sting in her heart as he kept his gaze on her

_I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her there….standing by the end of the road. My heart begun to cry…..my lungs stopped breathing…I can't stand this…I can't stand this pain. She looks at me with those two crimson eyes of hers, and I'm wondering what's going in her mind. She doesn't say anything..she just…keeps staring. And I try my best to not fall apart. Trying to not break right in front of her. _

The time seemed to stop. Kurenai felt her heart in her throat as he kept his…cold gaze on her. After awhile Kurenai finally cleared her throat but before she could say anything Kakashi turned around and started walking away

"..K..Kakashi…." said Kurenai softly but Kakashi continued to walk and didn't stop, involuntary Kurenai found her legs running in his direction "Kakashi wait!..don't walk away like this"

"you taught me how" replied Kakashi coldly not stopping his walk

"Kakashi…I'm…I'm sorry"

Kakashi suddenly stopped walking "sorry" he scoffed before he turned around to face Kurenai "I'm only sorry for myself that I actually believed that you ever loved me"

Kurenai paused for awhile before replaying "..that's…not true…I…I just…."

"you just what? you loved me and as soon as Asuma confessed to you, you suddenly stopped loving me? spare me from the fairytales"

Kakashi's cold tone hurt Kurenai, he had always been kind and warm to her and now….he just hated her "I…I thought that….we can still stay friends"

"friends?! You don't know the first thing about being someone's friend"

"..n..now you're..just being unfair Kakashi" replied Kurenai in a trembling tone trying her best to hold her tears

"very nice Kurenai. Play the role of the poor hurting girl that has been dumped by her horrible boyfriend"

"watch your mouth Hatake"

Kurenai looked over her shoulder to see Asuma standing a couple of steps behind her

Kakashi gave a cold look to the bearded jonin "look Kurenai, your boyfriend came to stand up for you. isn't that cute?" he asked sarcastically

"shut up" said Asuma sternly taking a couple of steps towards Kakashi

"you stay out of this. I'm not asking you" replied Kakashi coldly "oh and by the way, congrats! You won. And you even didn't have to fight for her. I'm really, really happy for the both of you. I really am" he added sarcastically

"you don't know anything so shut up before you'll regret every single word you said"

Kakashi just scoffed before he continued "just out of curiosity, did she show you the chapel near the border with the water country? If not yet don't worry I'm sure she will. I wonder how many guys she dragged there?"

Kurenai couldn't hold any more and the tears started to fall down her cheeks

_I didn't know why I said these things. When I glanced at her and saw her crying, it didn't make me feel any better, it only made feel worse……a lot worse._

Asuma clenched his fists in rage and couldn't hold any more "you asked for it" he said through clenched teeth before throwing a punch towards Kakashi, but Kakashi simply dodged and counterattacked punching Asuma in his face

"Stop it!!" yelled Kurenai as the two continued fighting, her eyes widened when Asuma staggered backwards and took out his trench knives and ran his chakra through them, Kakashi didn't look like if he was going to stop either as his right arm started sparkling with his electric chakra "stop it right now! you're going to kill yourselves" she yelled with tears still streaming down her face

But the two didn't stop and charged at each other, but before anyone could lend a hit on the other two large snakes appeared from the ground and wrapped their selves around each jonin preventing them from moving just before Anko appeared in a swirl of leaves and stepped between the two "what a nice way of showing sympathy" stated the kunoichi sarcastically

Kurenai looked at her friend who was standing between the two jonins "Anko" she said softly

"no need to thank me honey" replied Anko smirking before giving a deadly glare to the two fighters "and what's wrong with you two?! Behave yourselves"

"you don't deserve her at all!" growled Asuma at Kakashi struggling to brake free "I really can't see what she sees in you"

Kakashi ran his electric chakra through his body and thus he broke free from the snake "apparently she doesn't see anything in me. What's wrong? She already got bored with you?"

Asuma also managed to break free from the snake but because of Anko being in the middle between him and Kakashi there was no use of continue the fight "you bastard she's sick!" he growled angrily clenching his fists

"Asuma don't!" yelled Kurenai knowing what Asuma was going to say

Kakashi just turned around and started to walk away "then take her to the hospital, she'll be fine"

"I can't believe that you're really that stupid Kakashi!!!!" yelled Asuma angrily

"Asuma please!" begged Kurenai but Asuma was too furious to hear her

"Kakashi she's sick! She-"

* * *

I know I'm evil *grin* will Asuma blurt out everything to Kakashi? what is he going to say anyway? Will Kakashi finally find out that Kurenai is seriously sick? How will he react if he'll find out? And will I update soon? I'm annoying am I? Ok, enough questions, just read to find out. **REVIEW PLEASE ***smile*


	11. Parting Their Ways

I'm so sorry guys that it took me so long to update. I was going to update the last Wednesday but something came out and I got stuck at grandma's for the whole week. Also I was out of town today and I just came back (it's 2:00 am right now, and I'm up since 7:30 in the morning) but even though I'm tired as hell I decided to update anyway. As for the next chapter, I'll try to update it sooner than this one, but I'm also going to be away for the rest of this week, so I won't be able to write anything.

And just to replay to misc's review: It's not that Anko didn't give any advices but I just skipped this part and didn't write it couz the chapter was getting pretty long. Anyway, thanks a lot for reviewing ^_^

Now back to the story

* * *

"you bastard she's sick!" Asuma growled angrily clenching his fists

"Asuma don't!" yelled Kurenai knowing what he was going to say

Kakashi just turned around and started to walk away "then take her to the hospital, she'll be fine"

"I can't believe that you're really that stupid Kakashi!!!!" yelled Asuma angrily

"Asuma please!" begged Kurenai but Asuma was too furious to hear her

"Kakashi she's sick! She has a cancer!"

Kakashi's eyes widened after hearing this and suddenly stopped walking, he couldn't believe what he just heard. Shocked, he slowly turned around and looked at Kurenai, he was silent for awhile, still trying to absorb what Asuma just said. He kept his gaze on her feeling his breath quickening "…is….is that true?" he asked in a bit trembling tone

Kurenai sighed and looked to the ground without replaying. This act should have been enough for him to know the answer, but he had to hear it from her "Kurenai….is….is that true?" he asked again trying to maintain his breath

There was a long pause, there was no escaping now, she had to tell him the truth. Keeping her gaze on the ground she finally spoke "I found out three years ago. And I stopped responding to treatment"

_After hearing this I couldn't breathe as a storm of emotions rushed through my body. Thousand of thoughts ran through my mind. That was not happening…..not to her. I felt horrible….I felt terribly horrible for saying these stupid things that I didn't even mean earlier. My throat went dry. So dry that it started to hurt. I felt my knees going week…I felt like……if I was about to fall on my knees and just….cry. I didn't know what to say. I just kept staring at her as I tried desperately to catch my breath. _

There was a long silence between everyone, no one dared to say anything. Asuma already said everything that he had to say and decided to step aside, and so did Anko. Kurenai finally lifted her head and looked straight at Kakashi who still didn't say anything as he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. She sighed heavily before she spoke breaking the silence, and thus bringing Kakashi back to reality "well…..there you have it. Now you know the truth"

"why?.....why……you didn't tell me?" he asked softly

Kurenai was silent for awhile not taking her gaze away from him, no tears falling down her cheeks "I didn't want anyone to be weird around me"

"including me?"

"especially you Kakashi. Especially you" she replied softly "If you knew earlier I'm sure that you would've treated me differently. And I didn't want to see the look of pity in you"

"……………." Kakashi didn't replay and just stayed silent keeping his stare on her. He couldn't replay as he found his tongue unable to move _"this is not happening. It can't. It just can't" _he thought before he moved his gaze to the ground.

Kurenai got a little upset and tears begun to form in her eyes again "you know what?" she begun rising her voice, a bit of anger in her tone "I was getting along with everything fine. I accepted it. And then you happened!! You just had to confess that day and it was a mistake from me that I confessed to you too. I don't want a reason to have sorrows to die. To make me want to stay here. I don't want a reason to be angry with me and everyone else. I don't want a reason to be angry with god for ending my life so soon" Kurenai finished with tears streaming down her face. She turned away and as she was about to ran away Kakashi's voice stopped her

"Kurenai wait!" he called finally managing to move his tongue "I..…I still do love you" he said sincerely, his right eye going wet, his voice trembling a little

There was another long pause, Kurenai kept her back to Kakashi before she took a deep breath and spoke "I already told you……I'm sorry to make you fall in love with me" and with that she disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Anko and Asuma looked at each other before their gaze went to Kakashi who stared blankly into the distance

"I'm sorry that you had to find out this way Kakashi" said Anko before she returned her attention to Asuma "I'll better go and look after her"

"I'll go with you" replied the bearded jonin

"no, she probably wants to be alone right now. I'll let you know once I'll find her"

"ok"

Anko sighed and then slowly walked towards Kakashi, who stood glued to the floor with a blank expression on his face "Kakashi..just give her some time" she said placing her hand on his shoulder "you have to know that-"

"Anko" Asuma interrupted "we said enough today. Don't make things worse"

Anko looked at Asuma and nodded, before looking back at Kakashi and giving him a small smile "don't worry about Kurenai, Kakashi. I'll take care of her" she said and went to look after Kurenai. Asuma also made his way out from the park leaving Kakashi alone.

_I couldn't believe in any of what happened. I wanted to run after her. Tell her how much I love her. How much I need her. How much I miss her. But I was so shocked that I couldn't take a single step. It took me awhile to finally snap out of this state. And I made my way towards my apartment. As soon as I closed the door behind me and took a couple of steps forward, my legs couldn't support my weight anymore and I fell to my knees. I didn't want to cry. I tried to be strong. But yet, a single tear made her way down my cheek. And it hurts. It hurts so much that I can't breath. Why she? Why the one that I love so much? Why I always end up the same? On my knees on the cold floor. In my empty apartment…….Alone._

A couple of hours later, Kurenai was at Anko's. Sitting on the bed in the guest room with her friend sitting next to her

"you'll be ok?" asked Anko with concern

Kurenai wiped her tears and gave her friend a small smile "yeah, don't worry. Thank you for everything but I should go home now"

"don't be stupid. You know that you're more than welcome here"

"I know. But-"

"Kurenai, it has been a hard day for you. What you should do now is rest. Besides……" Anko suddenly went silent which surprised Kurenai a little

"besides what?" she asked

"besides I told Kakashi that I'll take care of you"

After hearing Kakashi's name, Kurenai's eyes went wet again and returned her gaze to the floor.

Anko sighed "Kurenai, stop doing this to yourself. You love him, and he loves you. And if you think that by pushing him away you'll somehow protect him from being hurt then you're very wrong. Besides-" she was interrupted by a knock on the door

"Kurenai" called Iruka from behind the door before he opened it

Kurenai looked up from the floor "what is it?" she asked

"you have a guest"

"who is it?"

"Asuma"

"I'll go and kick him out" said Anko as she stood to her feet and made her way towards the door

"Anko no" called Kurenai softly "call him in"

"are you sure?" asked Anko

"yeah, we haven't talked since he confessed to me. And….I just think that it's about time to have a little conversation"

"ok" replied Anko and got out to greet the bearded jonin, while Kurenai waited in the room.

After awhile, Asuma entered the room with Anko "I'll leave you alone" the snake mistress said and got out closing the door behind her.

Iruka, who was sitting in the living room, spotted his girlfriend placing a glass over the door in attempt to do nothing else but to eavesdrop "Anko"

"shhhh, I can't hear anything"

"and you shouldn't"

"just shut up will ya"

Inside, there was a silence between the two for awhile. Kurenai was avoiding her gaze with Asuma while she continued to sit on the bed, and Asuma just rubbed his head as he stood in front of her close to the door, not knowing what he should say. Then he was the one who broke the silence

"so…how are you doing?"

Kurenai looked up at him and replied softy "good. Maybe you'd like to sit"

"no thanks. It's ok" replied Asuma "….Kurenai….I…I'm sorry about earlier. I know that you didn't want Kakashi to find out but I just….."

"it's ok. He would've found out sooner or later anyway"

"so….since he found out…what are you going to do?"

"…………"

"are you going to come back to him?"

Kurenai thought for awhile returning her gaze to the floor. Asuma waited anxiously for her answer, he knew that it was a tough question for her, but he had to know if he was going to tell her what he wanted to tell. The actual reason why he came here.

"no" replied Kurenai softly with her gaze still on the floor "I broke up with him, because I don't want him to go through all of this with me. The fact that he knows doesn't change that"

"a..are you sure?"

"I'm sure"

There, Asuma got his answer, now it was the time to tell her what he was going to say from the beginning. Taking a deep breath to calm himself he finally spoke "Kurenai….you don't have to go through this alone" he begun, making Kurenai look up at him "I've been besides you from the moment you got sick, and I know how it's hard for you to deal with it. And if you'll let me…I..I would like to be the person who will stand besides you for the rest of our days"

Kurenai's eyes widened upon hearing this, she was about to open her mouth to say something but Asuma cut her off as he continued "that's why I'm asking you to marry me"

Anko gasped from the other side of the door

"what is it?" asked Iruka

"oh my god. Oh my god. He's proposing!!"

"what?!"

"shhhhh, let's see what will Kurenai say" she replied returning to eavesdrop

"if you'll agree" Asuma continued "you'll make me the happiest man in this world. And I'll try my best to make you as happy as I can. I know…I know that you don't love me, but maybe…with time you'll learn how to. I love you….I have always loved you and always will. I don't want to replace Kakashi, I just want to be with you. To help you through these hard days that are about to come. Sometimes you just can't make it on your own. You don't have to answer yet though. I'll be waiting for you until you'll decide" and with that he turned around and went towards the door

"shit" cursed Anko and quickly ran to where Iruka was, she came to sit next to him on the couch and grabbed the book that was placed on the coffee table and pretended to be reading it when Asuma got out from the room

"well, I should go now" said Asuma as he stepped into the living room

"………….."

"…………."

Anko and Iruka stayed silent and just eyed the bearded jonin with a shocked expression on their faces while sitting on the couch, as they were still pretty shocked about his sudden proposal. Well, actually Iruka was the one who was staring at Asuma as Anko was still pretending that she's reading the book

"goodnight" said Asuma with a smile

"……….."

"……….."

"..….um……I'll find my way to the door myself" he added rubbing his head in confusion before he got out from the apartment

Iruka finally snapped out from his shock and looked at Anko "Anko, you're holding the book upside down"

Anko sweat dropped and took a closer look at the book that she was holding. Indeed, she was holding it upside down. She shrugged on the threw the book on the coffee table "who cares!!! Man!! He just proposed!!! I have to talk to Kurenai!" she said excitedly and ran to have a little chat with her crimson eyed friend who was even more shocked from her current roommates.

_**The Next Day **_

It was about 8:30 pm when Tsunade was in her office along with Jiraiya who had returned to Konoha a couple of days earlier

"so, did you find anything interesting in these researches?" the toad sage asked

"I have to admit, the information that I got from these files had helped me in some way, but…" replied Tsunade flipping the pages of the files that were scattered in the front of her

"but what?"

The hokage stopped flipping the pages and looked at Jiraiya "they didn't help me in making the decision"

Jiraiya raised his eyebrow "what do you mean?"

"based on the information that I learned from these researches, along with what I learned here. I've developed a technique that I hope that it'll help me cure Kurenai"

"so how does that technique work?"

"by pulsing my chakra into the tumor I'll be able to destroy the tumor and get rid of it completely. It's also very handy as I don't have to cut the skull to get to the tumor"

"where is the catch?"

"I have never preformed the technique, so I don't know that exact amount of chakra that I should use. It's a 50/50 chance"

"so it'll either work or not. I don't see a problem here"

"Jiraiya, if it won't work she'll die"

"so here's the problem"

"exactly" replied Tsunade slumping deeper into her chair "I'm not sure if I should go for the surgery or not"

"let Kurenai decide about that. It's her life after all"

"you're right. But I've promised her that I'll find a cure to this damn thing"

"you can't save everyone Tsunade. You have to remember that"

"I know" replied Tsunade sighing before she heard a knock on the door "come in"

"Tsunade sama" called Shizune politely as she entered the office holding a file in her hand "I got Kurenai's test results which you ordered"

"it's just about time" replied Tsunade as Shizune handed the file over to her "let's see"

Meanwhile Kurenai was having a walk around the village, even though it was heavily raining she still continued walking. It was cold so she wrapped her arms around herself to keep her warm, which it didn't actually help but she didn't care anyway. The streets were empty. There was no one walking around since the rain was beating heavily. Lost in her thoughts she continued her slow walk. But then she heard footsteps running from behind, thinking that it was just someone who was running back home or anywhere else to hide from the rain she didn't stop and just continued to walk. But then the footsteps stopped and a voice called "Kurenai!"

Kurenai froze after recognizing the owner of the voice "K..Kakashi?" she said softy turning around. It was him. All wet from the rain. His hair falling down his face and forehead since he wasn't wearing his headband. The raindrops dripping down his hair. He took a couple of steps forward and got closer from Kurenai. Now only about a meter between them "Kakashi? what are you doing?" she asked

"I was looking for you"

"but it's raining"

"I don't care" he replied keeping his stare on her. His both eyes open. His mask going down his face "Kurenai….marry me"

Kurenai's heart stopped after hearing this, she couldn't believe what she just heard. She sighed and looked to the ground before replaying "Kakashi…please. I-" she begun before Kakashi cut her off

"Kurenai, I have something to tell you and I need you to hear it. I love you"

"Kakashi……" she murmured softly still keeping her gaze on the ground

"I want to tell you why I love you" he said as he got closer to her, and gently lifted her chin up so now she was looking at him. He cupped her cheek in his hand and stayed silent as he gazed into her crimson eyes. After awhile he took a deep breath and continued "Kurenai….I loved you since I met you. But I wouldn't allow myself to truly feel it until today. I made a lot of mistakes. I've lost a lot. So I locked up myself and pushed everyone away. I was always thinking ahead, making decisions soaked with fear. But then you came along and gave me that warm smile that I still remember these days. I'll never forget the first time we met. The day when my heart came alive. When all my pain, sadness and emptiness just disappeared. Making me a different person…..a better person………Today……because of you, what I've learned from you; every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed……I learned that if you're sharing your happiness, your joy and…..your love with another person, then you're living your life fully……and it doesn't matter if you have five minutes of fifty years. Kurenai….if not for you, I would never have known love at all. So thank you for being the person who taught me how to love……and how to be loved"

Kurenai was shocked, she didn't know how to replay. Tears were streaming down her face mixing with the rain that was still heavily beating down on them.

Kakashi still had his hand on her cheek, his eyes started to go wet "Kurenai, after you. I don't regret anything or any decision I made but two things. That I haven't confessed my feeling to you a long time ago like I should. And that I let you go. That's why I'm asking you to marry me"

"Kakashi you don't understand?" asked Kurenai in a trembling tone "I'm dying"

"don't say that" replied Kakashi, his tone started to tremble "I'm sure…I'm sure Tsunade sama will find a way to-"

"Kakashi please stop…..Don't make it harder on me"

Kakashi gently get his face closer to hers and rested his forehead on hers "Kurenai……" he said softly as tears begun to fall down his cheeks which Kurenai couldn't see because of the rain that didn't stop beating "you can't give up….you..just can't"

"it's not that I gave up Kakashi. I just accepted the fact that there's nothing I can do more. And you have to do the same thing"

"but what about us Kurenai? are you going to give up on us too?"

"……..Kakashi….from now on I won't get any better, it'll only get worse and worse….and….I don't want you to see me that way…vulnerable and weak….I can't let you go through that with me. I want you to remember me the way I was"

"…n..no, you…you can't leave me Kurenai. Not after what we've been through"

"Kakashi….I want you to remember that summer that we spent together very well ……..remember me the way I used to be….strong…..and happy, because god gave me the chance to be with you. Even though it wasn't for too long…."

"Kurenai……"

"…h….hold on onto those memories. That way…..I'll always be a part of you. You're my immortality Kakashi. But now..…you have to let me go…..even though it hurts"

A silence went between the two as they gazed into each other eyes under the heavy rain. The tears streaming down their faces. There was nothing more left to say. Kakashi just brought his face closer to hers and gave her a long and tender kiss.

_And everything disappeared for this one moment as our lips were sealed together in that kiss that I didn't want to break. Because I know that it might be the last time when I'll be feeling her warm lips on mine. And she kisses me back…like if there was no tomorrow. As if it were the last time. I bring my arms around her and hug her ever so tightly for so long as our lips still share the kiss. And I don't want to let go. My hands are stroking her wet hair. The rain still falling down on us, washing our tears away. _

What seemed like an eternity eventually had to end. The kiss was broken and the two backed away still holding their hands

"I love you"

It was the last thing that Kurenai whispered before she let go of Kakashi's hands and walked away.

_Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn't mean that we've stopped loving them or that we've stopped to care. Sometimes, goodbye is a painful way of saying 'I love you'. Love is the greatest feeling that someone will ever have. Yet, it is also one of the greatest sorrows. There's so much suffering. Now I realized how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. And now all I have are those moments. Those moment are perfect. They're right. Just like the moment that we just had. When I held her in my arms before she let go and walked away. It was just a beautiful moment filled with love. In that simple moment our hearts were alive. And we could see, even though it was for just a short time, the poignant beauty of life vividly with wonder and appreciation. I have done all that I could, I thing I just have to let her go. But it still hurts. Hurts so much. And I can't stop the tears from coming out. Can I really survive without her?_

Back in the hokage's office, Tsunade's eyes widened as she read the file in the front of her

"Shizune, are you sure that those are Kurenai's results?" the blonde hokage asked

Shizune nodded "yes, I'm sure. Is something wrong?"

"go find Kurenai and bring her here immediately"

Somewhere else in Konoha, Anko was sitting by the window in her living room. Staring at the falling rain _"I hope Kurenai is ok. She told me that she's going to have a walk, but hell! It's raining for over two hours now and she still didn't come back. Maybe she's at her apartment? I should call her" _she thought when she heard a knock on the door. She stood up and went to open it to see a shivering Kurenai on the doorstep, soaked to the bone. Her eyes puffy but not shedding tears

"oh my god Kurenai, don't tell me that you walked in this rain?" said Anko letting Kurenai inside

"I just came to take my stuff" replied Kurenai in a depressed tone

"Kurenai, we talked about that. You're staying here. Besides, look at yourself. You're all wet. You better take off these clothes before you'll get sick"

"…like a care" replied Kurenai in a low tone

"c'mon" said Anko before she turned her attention to Iruka who was in the kitchen " IRUKA!!!! MAKE SOME HOT TEA!!!!"

"fine, but you don't have to yell" replied Iruka

"whatever"

In a couple of minutes, Kurenai dressed up in a dry clothes and was in the kitchen with Anko having a hot cup of tea. She was keeping her gaze on the hot steam that was rising above the cup, and didn't say anything which made Anko a little worried

"Kurenai?...is everything ok?" she asked with concern, but Kurenai remained silent and didn't replay, still keeping her gaze on the same spot, making Anko even more anxious from before "Kurenai?....have something happened?"

"…….he proposed" she replied softly not taking her gaze away from the cup "Kakashi…..proposed"

Anko was a bit surprised and wondered what was her answer, but judging from her expression she knew that it rather wasn't yes _"poor girl. First Asuma and now Kakashi. To have to go through all of this. Like if the tumor wasn't enough" _she thought to herself eyeing her dear friend in the front of her "looks like he's not the only one" she said sighing

Kurenai finally looked up at Anko and spoke in a soft tone "I know. But this time I really wanted to say yes"

"Kurenai why-" Anko was once again cut off by a knock on the door

"I'll get it" said Iruka who just got out from the bathroom, he opened the door to see Shizune "Oh Shizune san. What brings you here?"

"I'm looking for Kurenai"

"she's here, come in"

"no, just tell her that Tsunade sama wants to talk with her immediately in her office. It's very important"

"can it wait?" asked Anko who came next to Iruka "Kurenai is not in a shape to-"

"it's ok Anko" Kurenai interrupted as she made her way towards the front door "let's go Shizune san"

Shizune nodded and she and Kurenai made their way towards the office. It finally stopped raining, and they didn't have to worry about their clothes getting wet. When they made it there, Shizune told Kurenai to go inside. Kurenai knocked on the door before she entered

"you called for me Tsunade sama?" asked Kurenai closing the door behind her

"yes Kurenai, please take a seat"

Kurenai nodded and came to sit on the chair in the front of the desk "so what is so important?"

* * *

Good question Kurenai. What is so important that Tsunade called for her that late at night?? Kakashi proposed and Asuma proposed. It was no for Kakashi, but Asuma still didn't get an answer. Will it be yes or no? Is Kakashi still going to fight for Kurenai or just like she asked him he'll let her go? Read to find out.

Now, I want to thank all of you who are reviewing my story. Knowing that you guys like it makes me happy and gives me a kick to write more. Keep them coming ^_^ also some thanks to those who are reading this story but not reviewing, although I'd really appreciate if you'll write some reviews. Just to know what do you think of this story. Anyway, thanks for your support.

As usual don't forget to review. And I'll try to update as soon as I can. See ya *hugs*


	12. The Decision

Kurenai knocked on the door before entering "you called for me Tsunade sama?" she asked closing the door behind her

"yes Kurenai, please take a seat"

Kurenai nodded and came to sit on the chair in the front of the desk "so what is so important?"

Tsunade was silent as she eyed the crimson eyed kunoichi in the front of her with a serious expression on her face which made Kurenai a little worried "Kurenai….."

Kurenai already could guess that whatever was the hokage going to say will not make her feel any better. She sighed and looked at her lap before saying softly "just say it. Nothing will get any worse"

"I assume that you still didn't find out" replied the blonde causing Kurenai to look up at her

"about what?"

"Kurenai…you're pregnant"

Kurenai's eyes widened in shock after hearing this. Her heart started to pound hard in her chest "…..I…..I can't be pregnant" she choked out in shock

"but you are. You're 7 weeks pregnant"

Thousands of emotions ran through Kurenai. A part of her was confused. A part of her was happy. And another part was sad "but…but I…."

"I'm sorry Kurenai, but abortion will be the best option for you"

"abortion?"

"since you're pregnant you'll not be able to take your medication. And without your medication you'll die in 10 months. And if you'll decide to have the baby anyway, the chances of miscarriage are rather high, putting you in danger . Also I have developed a technique that I hope will work. But I can't operate since you're pregnant. And delaying the surgery will only cause the tumor to grow, thus decreasing the chances of the operation to succeed"

"….and…if you'll operate now…..what…what are the chances?"

Tsunade paused for awhile before replaying "50%. If it won't work you could die. But it's your choice"

"…………." Kurenai didn't replay and just looked to the ground with wet eyes

"I'll give you two days to decide about the abortion. And maybe you should inform Kakashi about it as well"

Kurenai merely nodded and stood up before she got out from the office with no word. She could feel her knees trembling, trying to pull her down to the floor. But somehow she managed to find some strength and made her way towards Anko's apartment. She knocked twice and it wasn't too long before Anko opened the door. The snake mistress immediately noticed her friend's gloomy expression, and as Kurenai entered inside Anko closed the door and turned to her friend

"Kurenai..what's wrong?" she asked with concern

"nothing" Kurenai replied coldly without looking at her best friend as she made her way towards her room

"Kure-"

"I SAID IT'S NOTHING" Kurenai cut her off in an angry tone with her back to Anko as she continued to walk towards the room

"fine! Mess up everything and then yell at me!"

Kurenai stopped and looked to the ground before she slowly turned around to face her friend "I'm…I'm sorry Anko, I didn't mean to yell at you"

Anko just sighed before replying "apology accepted. So what did Tsunade sama tell you?"

"Anko….I don't want to talk about it. At least not now. I'm tired…and….." she looked to the ground before she continued "there are things that you can't help me to deal with…….no one can" she added before she turned around and entered her room. She slammed her back against the door as tears begun to fall down her cheeks _"a baby….your baby Kakashi" _she though placing her hands on her belly _"why it has to happen to me? what should I do? Do I have the right to take a life of an innocent one just so I can live?" _her knees couldn't support her anymore and she fell to the ground, her eyes soaked with tears _"I can't stand it. I can't deal with all of it. Anko, Asuma….Kakashi, I'm just a burden on them. Kakashi…if you just knew how much I need you right now. But I can't let you go through this. I don't want to hurt you more……..I should end this. Here and now" _with that last thought, Kurenai wiped her tears and slowly stood up making her way to her bed. She came to sit on its' edge and drew out a kunai from the drawer that was next to her bed _"I won't be a burden anymore" _

Meanwhile, Kakashi was laying in his bed staring blankly on the ceiling in his dark room. Lost in his thoughts as he couldn't think about anything else but Kurenai.

_No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop thinking about her. Memories just continued to haunt me as I remembered every little detail about her….about all the times we spent together. Is it really over? Is this as hard as it gets? Can I really move on? no, as each time I think about her I feel my heart sinking deeper into the despair. It's not a new feeling though. I've learned to be alone. I know this pain very well. But this time…I don't know why but it hurts more. _

Kakashi sighed heavily and slowly came to sit in his bed. He looked at his desk where there was a picture of Kurenai. Then the memory of her came again, ripping his heart all over again.

_**~Flashback~**_

_"why?.....why……you didn't tell me?" _

_"I didn't want anyone to be weird around me"_

_"including me?"_

_"especially you Kakashi" _

…………………………………………………………………

_"you know what? I was getting along with everything fine. I accepted it. And then you happened!! You just had to confess that day and it was a mistake from me that I confessed to you too. I don't want a reason to have sorrows to die. To make me want to stay here. I don't want a reason to be angry with me and everyone else. I don't want a reason to be angry with god for ending my life so soon"_

………………………………………………………………….

_"you can't give up….you..just can't"_

_"it's not that I gave up Kakashi. I just accepted the fact that there's nothing I can do more. And you have to do the same thing"_

………………………………………………………………_._

_"from now on I won't get any better, it'll only get worse and worse….and….I don't want you to see me that way…vulnerable and weak….I can't let you go through that with me. I want you to remember me the way I was"_

…………………………………………………………….

_"You're my immortality Kakashi. But now..…you have to let me go" _

_**~End of flashback~ **_

Kakashi's eyes went wet as he remembered the last conversation that he had with Kurenai. Taking a deep breath he stood up to his feet and got dressed before he got out from his apartment.

It was about midnight and Tsunade was in her office, still head over heels in the paperwork _"why did I agree to become the hokage?" _she asked herself as she stretched her arms over her head and yawned. She rubbed her neck and looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall "12:05. Time to have some sleep" she said before she stood up and got out from her office. There, in the hall she found Kakashi.

Confused, she raised her eyebrow and asked "Kakashi, what brings you here?"

"hokage sama, please tell me that there's still hope"

"huh? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Kurenai. Tell me that she will not die"

Tsunade was surprised by Kakashi's statement and didn't know how to replay. She could see how much worried he was about her and how much he loves her, which only made her more confused about what she should tell him.

"if there's anything I can do….if…there's even one thing that I can do to help her, please tell me. I'm willing to give up my life for her if it'll help. Just tell me"

_"did she tell him that she's pregnant?" _Tsunade thought as she eyed the masked jonin in the front of her, but judging by his questions and that it was late at night she guessed otherwise _"I guess she didn't" _

"I'll do anything to save her"

Tsunade sighed before replaying "Kakashi, trust me that I'm trying my best to find a cure. But for now my hands are tied"

"what do you mean your hands are tied?!!! Why don't you just do something to help her?!!" asked Kakashi not noticing that he raised his voice

"watch your tone Hatake! I'm working my ass hard to find a way to help her along with Shizune so shut up! Jeez, why did I decide to become a medical ninja?!"

Kakashi didn't replay and looked to the ground clenching his fists

"look Kakashi, I can't promised you that she'll be ok, but I can promise you that I'll do my best. For now it's all up to Kurenai if she would like to continue her treatment or not. But what she really needs now is someone to be by her side"

"she have Anko and Asuma" replied Kakashi softly while still looking on the ground

"I'm talking about you" said the hokage causing Kakashi to look up at her "whatever she says she needs you Kakashi. It's true that Anko and Asuma are there for her, but they won't give her what she needs…….man, I need a drink" finished the hokage as she begun to walk "don't think to much Kakashi. Have some rest and talk to her tomorrow, because I believe that it's what she needs right now. I will not give you any missions for the rest of the week, so use this time to clear your mind" she added as she passed Kakashi and got out.

At the same time in Anko's apartment, the kunai was laying on the floor next to Kurenai's bed, exactly where she threw it. She was sitting with her back leaned against the bed hugging her knees _"I can't do it…..I can't do it" _she said to herself before the door opened revealing Anko

"I'm sorry Kurenai, I thought you were asleep. I just wanted to check up o-" the kunai caught Anko's attention as she stepped into the room. She quickly returned her attention to Kurenai who was looking up at her with puffy eyes "you weren't thinking about……"

Kurenai just returned her gaze to the floor which told Anko everything "baka, don't even think about it ever again" said the snake mistress as she came near Kurenai and kneeled in the front of her "how could you think about something so stupid"

"I just didn't want to be a burden"

"you're not a burden Kurenai. What happened?"

Kurenai sighed and looked up at her friend "Anko…..I'm pregnant"

The next day, Kurenai finally made a decision. Although the hokage had gave her two days to think about it Kurenai already decided and wanted to have everything behind her already. It was about 8:30 in the morning and the crimson eyed kunoichi was having a breakfast with her friend in the kitchen

"are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" asked Anko as she sat by the table oppositely to Kurenai

"don't bother yourself Anko. I'll be fine"

"you don't want to tell Kakashi about it?"

"that he was going to be a father? No, I messed up his life enough"

"but he has the right to know"

"Anko, please, we talked about it last night"

"ok ok. I have a mission today so I'll give you the keys to the apartment"

"that's not necessary. I'm going back to my apartment"

"Kurenai-"

"no Anko. I stayed here for too long. Thank you for everything. But I want to go home"

"but know that you're always welcome here"

"I know" replied Kurenai with a small smile "well, I gotta go now" she added as she stood up and made her way towards the front door and got out.

After about 5 minutes, she finally made it to the hokage's office. She knocked on the door and waited outside before she heard Tsunade's voice calling

"come in"

Kurenai opened the door and stepped inside "good morning hokage sama" she greeted

"good morning Kurenai" replied Tsunade "what brings you here?"

"I….I made a decision. And…if you say that the abortion is the best option for me I'll do it"

"are you sure? I mean, I gave you two days to think about it"

"……….I'm sure"

"well, then meet me in the hospital at noon. I'll finish my work here and then we'll start"

Kurenai just nodded and looked to the ground with a sad expression on her face that didn't go unnoticed by the hokage

"Kurenai….everything will be ok, I promise"

Kurenai looked up and gave to the blonde a weary smile "thank you hokage sama"

It was already noon, and Kurenai was getting nervous with each passing minute as she waited anxiously for the hokage to show up in the hospital. She was getting late so Kurenai thought that she probably still have some work. To kill some time, she decided to have a walk inside the hospital. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't know where she was until she heard a baby cry that shook her from her thoughts. She looked around and spotted a big glass window. As she took a closer look she found that the room behind the window was filled with newborns. From all the places in the hospital she had to pass through the nursery. A small smile came across Kurenai's face as she watched the babies through the window. But that smile quickly faded when she remembered the reason why she came here in the first place. Her heart sank and her eyes became wet as she looked down and placed her hands on her belly. Sighing heavily she lifted her head up and looked through the window getting lost in her thoughts again.

"which one is yours?" a male voice came making Kurenai come back to reality. She looked to her right to see a man standing in the front of the window with a big smile on his face

"excuse me?"

"which one is yours?" the black haired man asked again

" ….no, I….I was just passing by….."

"oh I see" replied the man before he returned to gaze through the window "you see the little girl out there? that's my daughter" he said proudly

"…congratulations"

"thank you" replied the man with a wide smile "do you have kids?"

Kurenai paused after hearing the man's question "no" she replied in a sad tone as she looked to the ground, tears begun to form in her eyes when she heard someone calling from behind

"here you are" Kurenai looked behind to see Shizune walking in her direction "I was looking for you everywhere"

"I'm sorry. Tsunade sama was late so I decided to have a walk"

"no problem. Are you ready?"

"………I'm ready"

"then come with me"

_It was late afternoon, and I decided to have a walk. I couldn't sleep last night as I was thinking about Kurenai, and about what the hokage had told me. What should I do? What should I say? I don't know. My mind is empty and I can't come up with anything. Then I saw her, sitting on the bench in the playground, watching the kids playing. I couldn't see her beautiful smile. Her eyes were dry….with no passion in them. Something odd. There was something different about her. And I could see that she has been crying. And seeing her like that only made me feel a lot worse. Made me want to take her in my arms and tell her that I'm here for her. That I've always been. I found myself walking in her direction, and she didn't notice my presence. I took a deep breath, and somehow managed to speak._

"hi"

Kurenai looked up to see Kakashi standing in the front of her "..hi" she replied in a bit surprised tone

Kakashi came to sit next to her on the bench. There was a silent between the two for awhile as the two of them watched the kids in the playground. With his gaze still on the playground he asked "….so, how are you?"

"I've been better" replied Kurenai softly also with her gaze on the kids

"cute aren't they?"

Kurenai paused after hearing Kakashi's question and didn't replay. When he didn't get an answer he moved his head and looked at her to see that she was looking to the ground "Kurenai…are you ok?" he asked with concern

Kurenai looked up at him and said with a smile "I'm ok. I'm just a little tired"

"are you sure?"

"yeah, I'm sure. Well, I have to go home now" she said as she stood to her feet and begun to walk

"Kurenai wait!" he called and stood up

Kurenai stopped and turned around "yes?"

"….don't go away, I mean….I…."

"don't say anything. I know…….I'm sorry but I can't" and with that she turned around and walked away while tears gently falling down her cheeks.

Asuma was at his apartment, staring out through the window with a cigarette in his mouth thinking about no one else but Kurenai. Since she was at Anko's he haven't seen her a lot and he did miss her _"did I made the right choice?" _he questioned himself as he started to doubt about his proposal if it was right

"I thought you told me that you will quit smoking"

Asuma turned around to see no other than Kurenai "Kurenai! you're back!" he said throwing the cigarette through the window

"I couldn't stay at Anko's forever, and besides I kinda missed this place"

"how are you doing lately?"

"as usual" replied Kurenai with a small sigh "I still didn't give you an answer"

"oh, about that…..Kurenai…..I..."

"it's ok Asuma. I'm actually glad to know what are your feelings towards me"

"so…..what's your answer?"

"well….."

* * *

Well? It looks like you have to wait for the next chapter to see her answer hehehe another cliffhanger lol I know I'm getting more evil. Anyway, I hope that you liked this chapter, and Kurenai is being stubborn don't you think? Don't forget to review guys ^_^ love ya!


	13. Now or Never

"I thought you told me that you will quit smoking"

Asuma turned around to see no other than Kurenai "Kurenai! you're back!" he said throwing the cigarette through the window

"I couldn't stay at Anko's forever, and besides I kinda missed this place"

"how are you doing lately?"

"as usual" replied Kurenai with a small sigh "I still didn't give you an answer"

"oh, about that…..Kurenai…..I..."

"it's ok Asuma. I'm actually glad to know what are your feelings towards me"

"so…..what's your answer?"

"well….." Kurenai began in a little nervous tone while Asuma waited anxiously for her answer, there was a short pause before she continued and taking a deep breath she finally said "….I will"

Asuma couldn't believe what he just heard "y…you..w..what?"

"I will. I will marry you Asuma" she said in a calm tone, nor happy nor sad or excited

A big smile came across Asuma's face "you've no idea how you made me happy Kurenai" he spoke happily as he came closer to her and hugged her tightly "I promise that I'll try my best to make you happy"

"I know" replied Kurenai softly, gently returning the embrace

Asuma backed away and took out a ring from his pocket "that belongs to you now"

Kurenai eyed the ring and didn't replay as she gave him her hand and waited for him to slide it down her finger

Her gloomy expression didn't go unnoticed by the bearded jonin as he placed the ring on her finger "Kurenai…I'm not forcing you to marry me. If you don't wa-"

"no" she cut him off "I want to marry you"

"but you-"

"I'm just a little tired that's all. It has been a long day for me"

"do you need anything?"

"no thank you. I just need some rest" she said before she made her way towards her bedroom. She came to sit on the bed and gave a heavy sigh. She looked up at the board that was hanging on the wall and eyed the pictures that were there. Her eyes were glued on one particular photo. On Kakashi's. About three months ago she didn't have any picture of him. And now the board was full of his pictures with her. Reminding her of the times that they spent together. And how truly happy she was _"forgive me" _she thought as a single tear made her was down her cheek.

A couple of days passed, and Kurenai still didn't tell anyone about her decision. As well as the fact that the wedding will be in just two weeks. It was morning when she decided to pay Anko a visit. She knocked on the door and waited on the doorstep until the door opened revealing Anko

"oh hey sweetie. I've missed you" greeted Anko with a wide smile

"can we talk?"

"you should have said I've missed you too my dear friend" said Anko letting Kurenai in

Kurenai gave a small smile as she came to sit on the couch in the living room right next to Anko

"you've cheered up a little"

Kurenai sighed and looked to the ground

"you haven't cheered up at all"

"Anko, I'm getting married" she said softly in a calm tone

"then why this gloomy expression? Kakashi must be happy!!" said Anko excitedly

Kurenai looked up at her friend "with Asuma"

"..what?!"

"I'm getting married with Asuma"

"….I don't get it, you don't love Asuma, you love Kakashi"

"the wedding will be in two weeks, you'll have to help me to find a dress" said Kurenai with no excitement in her tone at all

"are you out of your mind?! I'll not let you do this"

"Anko please, I made a decision. I will marry Asuma"

"And I will marry Bruce Lee"

"Anko"

"Kurenai, I'll not watch you making the biggest mistake of your life. What about Kakashi?"

Kurenai returned her gaze to the floor "it's over between me and Kakashi"

"you still love him Kurenai"

"that doesn't matter"

"yes it does because he loves you too"

"Anko stop it"

"no I won't"

"Anko!"

"you're always saying about how much you love him and how you don't want to hurt him. Do you think that if you'll marry Asuma he'll be happy?!"

"thanks a lot for your support Anko!" growled Kurenai angrily as she stood up to her feet and made her way to the door

Anko also stood up and called after her crimson eyed friend "Kurenai don't get mad. Kurenai!"

Kurenai didn't listen and just stormed out of the door "that girl" muttered Anko _"I wonder how Kakashi will react when he'll find out?" _she thought when Iruka just came

"what happened? I saw Kurenai walking out from here, and she didn't look happy"

"don't ask" replied Anko sighing "what are you doing here by the way? Don't you have a class at the academy?"

"I do, but Tsunade sama told me to inform you that there will be a meeting today at 10"

"about what?"

"I don't know. But she wants every jonin to come"

_My life had no sense anymore. What is the point of living if Kurenai is not here beside me? What I have left? When I come to think about it I found that I have nothing. I only lived for her. And it made me happy. Now, I lay in my bed and watch the ceiling of my room. Holding tight to all the memories that I have. Should I try again? Should I try to convince her that I will always love her no matter what? That I want to be beside her and help her with what she's going through? As I got lost in my thoughts I heard a knock on the door. I didn't want to get up. I didn't have the strength to get up. Since Tsunade has given me a week off why should I bother to open the door. So I close my eyes and get lost in my thoughts again just to hear another knock on the door. I sigh and slowly get up. I put the mask back on my face before making my way towards the door. It was Kotetsu. A little strange as he has never paid me a visit before._

"what is it?" Kakashi asked lazily as he stepped out on the doorstep

"I'm sorry to bother you Kakashi san but hokage sama told me to inform every jonin that there will be a meeting today at 10 in her office"

"is it something urgent?"

"I don't know"

"ok, I'll be there" replied Kakashi. Kotetsu nodded before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Asuma also got informed about the meeting and was getting ready to go out when Kurenai appeared in the living room, dressed in her ninja outfit.

"where do you think you're going?"

"there's a meeting right"

"yeah, but I don't think tha-"

"I'm still a jonin Asuma"

"but you-"

"I can't just sit here and do nothing all the time. C'mon let's go" she said before she got out.

It was exactly 10 o'clock and Tsunade's office was full with jonins. Every jonin in the village came to the meeting but one who as usual was late. And since Tsunade gave him a week off she wasn't expecting to see him _"what was I thinking to make the meeting in the office?" _she thought as the office started to be crowded. She wasn't expecting to see Kurenai either. But indeed the crimson eyed kunoichi came to the meeting.

Tsunade stood up from her chair and spoke "since everyone is already here let's begin"

"Kakashi Hatake is late" said one of the jonins

"he-" Tsunade begun just to be cut off by a jonin who just entered

"I'm here" spoke Kakashi

Kurenai felt her heart starting to pound when she heard his voice. She looked at her ring before she took it off and placed it in her pouch hoping that no one will notice it. Hoping that Kakashi will not notice. But what she did, didn't go unnoticed by Asuma who felt a sharp sting in his chest.

_I kept my gaze away from Kurenai. I didn't want to look at her because I knew that it'll only make me hurt more. Being with her in the same place and not being able to talk to her, hug her nor kiss her was already painful enough. Gai's mumbling about flames of youth didn't help either as it only made me a headache._

"Kakashi my eternal rival" Gai begun as he stood next to Kakashi "I can sense that something is wrong with your flames of youth"

"I'm fine" replied Kakashi lazily

"you're good in masking your emotions but you'll not fool me"

"Gai I'm fine"

"your flames of youth says something else"

"GAI AND KAKASHI!!" growled Tsunade "if you'll not shut up I'll kick out both of you"

"sorry hokage sama" apologized Gai before he looked at Kakashi and gave him a shiny smile with his thumb up

Kakashi just sweat dropped before he returned his attention to the hokage

"we're gathered here because I want to discuss an important matter. Akatsuki has been very active lately. But we still don't have a clue about what they're plotting. I want to send one jonin to gather some information about them"

"if you want to send only one jonin, why did you call for all of us?" asked Anko

"because this mission will lasts for 15 months or more. And since Akatsuki are involved it could be dangerous. Also some of you have families. That's why I don't want to force anyone to do it. If any of you thinks that he-"

"ahem" Anko interrupted

"or she"

"much better"

"have the ability and strength to do the mission, will come and inform me about his OR her decision"

"a mission for 15 months is way too troublesome" muttered Shikaku

"15 months without barbeque….I don't know if I could last for that long" said Choza

"I don't think that I can leave my lovely wife and my daughter Ino for 15 months" said Inoichi

"and don't count on me. I just came back from my long mission" exclaimed Anko loudly

"I'm giving you two weeks to decide" spoke Tsunade "that's all that I wanted to say. Dismiss"

One week later, team Kakashi was in the training field waiting for their sensei to show up

"ugh, he's late again" muttered Naruto as he, Sakura and Sasuke stood under one of the trees that were in the field

"nothing new" replied Sakura while Sasuke as usual stayed silent

"have you heard that Kurenai sensei is getting married?" asked the blonde

"shut up"

"that's true. I couldn't believe it either"

"since when do you know?!"

"Hinata told me today. And guess with who?"

"with Kakashi sensei?"

"nope, with Asuma"

"Asuma? were they even together?" asked Sasuke joining the conversation

"that what it looks like" replied Naruto

"poor Kakashi sensei. That's why he has been so depressed lately" said Sakura

"I don't think that he even knows about it" said Naruto

"what do you mean?" asked Sasuke

"well, Hinata told me that Kurenai sensei hasn't told it to anybody yet" explained Naruto "should we go to the wedding?"

"who's wedding?" came Kakashi's voice from behind. The trio turned around to see their sensei walking in their direction

"Kure-ouch" Naruto was quickly cut off by Sakura who poked his arm hard with her elbow

"it's just a friend of ours" said Sakura

Kakashi gave his student a suspicious look "a friend of yours?"

"someone you don't know" added Sasuke

Kakashi knew that his students were hiding something from him, it was pretty obvious since Naruto was a bad liar "Naruto"

"um….err…" Naruto begun to stutter as he rubbed his head nervously

"c'mon guys, just say it"

The trio looked at each other before they sighed and looked to the ground "Kurenai sensei's" said Naruto

_I died when I heard that. I felt like if I was shot by a bullet that went right through my heart. But probably a bullet would have been less painful. _

Sakura looked up and saw Kakashi's shocked expression "you didn't know?"

Kakashi didn't replay as he was still absorbing what he just heard from his students

"sensei…"

Kakashi shook his head "…no. No I didn't Sakura" he replied returning to wear his usual lazy expression "let's begin our training"

Although Kakashi was good in masking his hurt, he couldn't hide it from his students. They all knew how much he loved Kurenai and how happy he was when they were together.

"sensei are you ok?" asked Sakura with concern

"yeah, I'm fine"

"are you sure?" asked Naruto

"I'm fine. Now let's begin"

_I thought that by telling myself and everyone else that I'm fine. Sooner or later I'd come to believe it. But I realized that by lying it only hurt more. I realized that I lost Kurenai forever. And losing her was like losing my heart. She was the one who taught me how to love. How to live. She brought back my smile and now she took it away. I lost my purpose in life. I never knew I could feel so much pain and at the same time still love that person who caused it. It has been a week. And I have spent the nights just thinking about her. Remembering her face and her beautiful smile. Remembering a fading sound of her saying the words that I miss so much. It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does. If I just could share another smile with her. Another laugh. Another embrace. But I can't. The only thing that I have now are scars. Scars that I'm afraid will never fade._

It was the last day before Kurenai's and Asuma's wedding. It was evening and both team Kurenai and team Kakashi were in a bar with Anko and Iruka who were also there.

"should we do something?" asked Naruto who was sitting by a big round table along with his friends

"what are you talking about?" asked Sakura

"I mean..tomorrow is Kurenai sensei's wedding"

"so?" asked Kiba

"Kurenai sensei isn't happy at all" said Hinata softly

"don't be stupid Naruto" spoke Sasuke "what? are you planning to ruin the wedding?"

"leave it to me" said Anko as she came closer the table where Naruto and the others were "oh and before you'll say something, yeah, I eavesdropped"

"what are you going to do?" asked Shino

"you're not going to sabotage the wedding?" asked Iruka

"of course not" replied Anko "Kakashi gave up too soon. Kurenai doesn't want to listen to me but I'm sure that she'll listen to Kakashi if he'll talk to her"

"do you think that he'll even want to talk with her?" asked Sakura

"don't worry, I can be really convincing" replied Anko with a smirk "and if that won't work I have another great plan"

"and what's that great plan?" asked Kiba

"do you know the part when they ask does any of you has a reason so the two of those should not get married?"

"yeah" replied Kiba

"so, when we'll get to this part we'll all stand up and protest"

"that's crazy Anko" said Iruka

"I'm not asking for your opinion. Now I have a talk with Kakashi so excuse me" said Anko before she got out from the bar.

--------------------------------------------

Tsunade looked up at the silver haired jonin in the front of her "Kakashi, I don't think it's a good idea"

"I made my decision. And I won't change my mind"

"are you sure?"

"yes hokage sama. I'm sure"

"ok then. Go and prepare yourself"

---------------------------------------------

Kurenai was having a walk as the sun started to set on the horizon. She walked out from the village to visit her special place. Their special place. The one that Kakashi showed her on her birthday.

_**~Flashback~**_

_"is it far yet?" asked Kurenai _

_"be patient, we're almost there" answered Kakashi as he dragged Kurenai through the trees "here" he said after they got out from the forest into a beautiful green field that was surrounded by beautiful cherry trees. Grass and flowers grew everywhere that seemed to glow under the warm summer sunrays with beautiful colors. There was also a small waterfall that was falling into a lagoon with such pure water that you could see the fish swimming in it. _

_Kurenai watched in amazement the magnificent view in the front of her "it's so….beautiful" she said smiling still looking around _

_"yeah it is" replied Kakashi softly with his gaze glued on Kurenai_

_Kurenai felt Kakashi's gaze on her and turned her head towards him "what?" she asked smiling _

_Kakashi was silent for awhile before replaying "you look cute with this pup in your arms" _

_"thank you" replied Kurenai smiling_

_"let's have a seat"_

_**~End of flashback~ **_

The flowers were already dead and most of the trees already lost their leaves. A cold breeze stroke Kurenai's face as she stood by the lagoon and watched her reflection in the water as she got lost in her thoughts.

"tomorrow is your big day huh?"

Kurenai shook out from her thoughts and turned around to see Kakashi "Kakashi? what are you doing here?" she asked in a surprised tone

"I wanted to see this place before leaving. But I didn't expect to see you here"

"leaving? Are you going somewhere?"

"I took the mission that Tsunade talked about. I think…it's the best thing for me"

"when you'll go?"

"tonight"

There was a short pause between the two before Kurenai spoke with her gaze to the ground "you hate me don't you?"

"how could I?..I.....I will always love you Kurenai. That's why I can't stay here. I hope you understand"

Kurenai looked up at Kakashi and didn't replay as her eyes became wet and tears began to form in her eyes.

Kakashi gave a small smile from under his mask before saying "I only want you to be happy. Asuma loves you and I know that he'll make you happy and will take good care of you"

Kurenai was trying her best to fight her tears. Her throat went dry and couldn't say anything. After another pause she finally cleared her throat and choked out "..d..do you really have to go?"

"do I have someone that will keep me here?" he asked with a little hope in his tone

Kurenai looked to the ground again and tears began to fall down her cheeks. Kakashi himself fought his own tears but he was strong enough to keep them for himself. He took a couple of steps forward towards Kurenai and gently lifted her chin up before wiping her tears with his thumb "you'll make a wonderful bride Kurenai. Asuma is really a lucky guy. I'm sure you'll be happy with him" he said softly before he lowered his mask down and kissed her forehead as he took her hand and placed something in it "keep this with you" he added as he backed away and still held his hand on hers "and promise me that you'll be happy. Because you deserve it"

Kurenai didn't replay as the tears continued to stream down her face. She kept her gaze on his face knowing that it would be probably her last time seeing it.

"Kurenai promise"

"…I..I promise"

Kakashi smiled and gently let go of her hand "it's time for me to go now. Goodbye Kurenai" he said and walked away

Kurenai looked down at her hand and opened it to see a necklace with a beautiful butterfly hanging on it "Kakashi wait"

Kakashi stopped and turned around "yes?"

There was a long pause as Kakashi waited for Kurenai to say something. But as much as she wanted to tell him to stay she couldn't "thank you" was the last thing that she said with a small smile on her face.

Later, Kakashi was at his apartment packing himself when he heard a knock on the door _"I wonder who could it be?" _he thought as he made his way towards the door and opened it to see Anko

"move your ass and do something" she said with authority as she stepped into the living room without bothering to ask 'may I?'

"Anko? What are you doing here?" asked Kakashi a little bit confused before he closed the door and turned his attention to Anko

"no time for asking questions. You have to stop Kurenai from getting married!"

Kakashi sighed and looked to the ground "there's nothing I can do"

"yes there is! I'm sure that if you will try to convince her she'll change her mind"

Kakashi looked up at Anko who had a deadly serious expression on her face "Kurenai made her choice and I'll not force her to do anything that she doesn't like. She knows that I love her. And I tried to talk to her several times but each time her answer was the same"

"listen up Hatake! Kurenai is my best friend and I know that marring Asuma will not make her happy. She's stubborn and even more stupid, which I start to believe that it has to do something with the tumor that must somehow affect her commonsense. Marrying Asuma will be a big mistake. You have to do something!!"

"like what?"

"I don't know. You're the genius here"

"Anko what do you want me to do? Kidnap her?"

"that's not such a bad idea. Why I didn't think about it? Don't worry I'll arrange everything"

"Anko stop it. Kurenai tomorrow will get married with Asuma. And I'm ok with that"

"yeah right. Believe it yourself first"

"if you don't mind I have a long mission and I need to prepare myself"

"but Kaka-"

"goodbye Anko"

"you're even more stupid than Kurenai. Do as you like, but know that you'll regret it later" she said coldly before she got out, shutting the door behind her with a loud thud.

Kakashi sighed and returned to pack himself when he heard another knock on the door _"that girl just doesn't know when to stop" _he thought to himself as he went to open the door "Anko I to-…..it's you"

"we need to talk"

* * *

Well, that's it for this chapter. Review as always *wink*


	14. Returned Smile

Hola! Sorry for such a late update. I know, I used to update a lot faster but now my college classes started and I don't have much free time to write. Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

* * *

It was noon and the wedding was coming ahead. Kurenai was in her bedroom, sitting on her bed, already dressed in her wedding dress. The dress was strapless with ruched bodice and had embellishments at empire waist. The form fitting bodice flattered her figure and fell into a full skirt at drop waist. Her hair was held in a low ponytail and was pulled to one side over her right shoulder. Her sight was directed at her hand which was holding the necklace that she got from Kakashi just a day ago.

A knock on the door shook her out from her thoughts "need some help?" came Anko's voice as she opened the door and stepped inside

Kurenai looked up at her friend and gave her a weary smile "no thank you. I'm ready" she replied before the small smile disappeared as she returned her gaze on the necklace. Memories from yesterday's evening came to her mind. Keeping to gaze the necklace she remembered Kakashi's words _'you'll make a wonderful bride Kurenai. Asuma is really a lucky guy. I'm sure you'll be happy with him. Keep this with you' _

Anko could notice Kurenai's wet eyes and already knew that no matter what will Asuma do, her dear friend will never be happy with him "you look beautiful, if you could just cheer up a little it'll be great" she said smiling hoping to cheer up her friend but not expecting that it'll work

And just like Anko expected, Kurenai's expression didn't change and she began to doubt that it ever will.

Kurenai was silent as she kept starring at the butterfly that was hanging over the necklace "he's probably gone by now" she said softly in a depressed tone breaking the silence

"who?" asked Anko

"Kakashi" she replied not looking away from the necklace "he left the village"

"he'll be back"

"but then I'll be already dead"

"that's not funny Kurenai, don't say such things. You'll have the surgery and everything is going to be ok"

"I can't"

"why you can't?"

"I can't. I…I didn't do it. I just……couldn't"

"you didn't do what?"

Kurenai gently lifted her head up and looked at Anko "I didn't do the abortion"

Anko's eyes widened upon hearing what her friend just said "god…so..you're still pregnant?"

Kurenai slightly nodded before returning her gaze to the floor

"Kurenai but Tsunade sama told you that-"

"Anko" said Kurenai softly lifting her head up again, interrupting her friend "this is my baby…..Kakashi's baby"

"but you-"

"I have something that I thought I'll never have. A chance to become a mother" she said as her tone began to tremble and her eyes went wet again "maybe that's true that I'm going to die but……but at least I want to try…..I want to know…how it's like to be a mother…even for just one day…for just a moment…..I want to know how it is like to hold your own child in your arms….I….I just want to have this baby Anko"

"does Asuma know that you're pregnant?"

Kurenai paused for awhile and didn't replay which only made the snake mistress a little anxious "Kurenai?"

Kurenai looked to the ground and shook her head no

"Kakashi doesn't know either?"

"…………." again there was no replay from Kurenai as she continued to gaze the floor

Anko sighed and came to sit next to Kurenai on the bed "Kurenai, don't marry Asuma"

"I can't do this to him. I told him that I'll marry him and I will"

"you don't love him"

"he knows about it"

"but he doesn't know that you're pregnant with Kakashi. How do you think he'll feel when he'll find out?"

"I'm sure he'll handle it"

"why are you doing this to yourself?"

"………….."

"answer me"

"…..b…because I'm afraid. I'm afraid from what is about to come. I'm afraid from going through this alone……and….and I love Kakashi too much to make him go through this with me" the crimson eyed replied in a cracked tone as tears began to form in her eyes

"I know that you're afraid Kurenai. But this way you're being selfish. You hurt Kakashi by pushing him away. And you'll hurt Asuma by marring him just because you're afraid to be alone"

"…..but….I-"

"there's still time to call off everything. If you care for Asuma….if you love Kakashi don't do it"

Kurenai was about to say something when she heard a knock on the door

"come in" called Anko

The door opened reviling Asuma, dressed in his formal suite "hey" he greeted with a smile as he stepped inside

Anko looked at Kurenai "I'll leave the two of you alone. I believe you need to talk" she said as she stood up and got out from the room gently shutting the door behind her.

Asuma looked at Kurenai and saw her red nose as well as the wet eyes "were you crying?" he asked with concern as he stood in the front of her

"..n..no, something just got caught in my eyes" she replied putting a fake smile on her face "you shouldn't be here. Don't you know that seeing the bride before the wedding will bring bad luck?"

Asuma smiled and came to sit next to Kurenai "I don't believe in luck. There's only fate" he said before starting studying her beautiful face "you look beautiful"

"thank you" replied Kurenai looking away

Asuma's gaze went to her hand that was holding the necklace _"that must be from him" _he thought to himself before gently taking the necklace from her "I believe you need some help with that" he said smiling as he wrapped the necklace around her neck

Asuma's action made Kurenai confused and it surprised her a little. She moved her head towards him and looked into his brown eyes. There was something different about him that she couldn't figure out. Then Anko's words crossed her mind _'you're being selfish. You hurt Kakashi by pushing him away. And you'll hurt Asuma by marring him just because you're afraid to be alone. If you care for Asuma….if you love Kakashi don't do it'_ Anko was right. She wasn't happy. And Asuma didn't look happy either. Was there really a point in marring him?

Asuma smiled at her and took out a white lily from his pocket before tucking it in her hair " …..Kurenai…we know each other since we were kids, and you have no idea how much you've given me since then. Thank you for everything"

"Asuma…I.." Kurenai began just to be cut off by Asuma

"you'll be happy Kurani. I'll make sure of it. And from now on everything will get better. I promise" he finished before he leaned forward towards her and kissed her forehead "don't let the guests wait for you" after that he stood to his feet and got out from the room.

A couple of second later Anko stormed through the door "and?" she asked curiously wondering what did Kurenai tell him as it was actually her first time when she didn't eavesdrop

Kurenai was silent for awhile as she tried to accumulate all her thoughts. Giving a deep sigh she slowly stood up and took the bouquet in her hands "it's time to go. Everyone is waiting"

"I thought you will tell me something else" replied Anko in a disappointed tone "I'll ask you one last time, do you really want to marry Asuma?"

"I do"

"let's go then"

There was no escaping now. Kurenai made her choice and was going to marry Asuma even with the knowledge that it won't make her happy _"it doesn't matter anymore. Kakashi is not here…..but at least I would make Asuma happy" _she thought as she walked down the aisle with her gaze to the floor.

Anko, who was walking behind Kurenai had a big grin on her shocked face. She quickened her pace to catch up with Kurenai and came to walk next to her "look up! You won't believe it" she whispered, gently pocking her friend's arm with her elbow "and I swear I have nothing to do with it"

Kurenai didn't get what the snake mistress just said. Confused, she gently lifted her head up and looked at the man who was standing down the aisle _"…K..Kakashi?" _Her heart quickened its' beats at the sight of the silver haired man, the she loved from all heart. Who was now waiting for her with a big smile on his face.

**15 hours earlier **

After Anko furiously stormed off from Kakashi's house, the silver haired jonin returned to pack his stuff for the mission when he heard another knock on the door _"that girl just doesn't know when to stop" _he thought as he made his way towards the door

"Anko I to-…..it's you"

"we need to talk"

Kakashi glanced lazily at the bearded jonin in the front of him "I don't think so" he replied coldly attempting to close the door just to be stopped by Asuma

"I believe we do" replied Asuma stepping inside Kakashi's house

"what do you want?"

"you have a tuxedo?"

"why? You didn't get your size?" Kakashi asked sarcastically

Asuma slightly chuckled before replaying "the groom should have a nice tuxedo to wear shouldn't he?"

"why are you telling me this?"

"because you'll need one"

Kakashi was surprised by Asuma's answer _"what is he trying to say?" _he thought to himself before Asuma continued

"….Kurenai loves you. I'm not the who should marry her but you"

The copy ninja didn't know how to replay as he was pretty shocked from what he just heard

"Kakashi, I want you to be the one who will stand down the aisle tomorrow. I want you to marry her and make her happy"

"but…she chose you"

"no she didn't. She chose you a long time ago. I know her too well. She probably said yes just because she didn't want to be alone"

"she said yes to you not to me. I have also proposed to her but she-"

"Kakashi don't you see it? Don't you see how much she loves you?"

"no. I don't see it. I can't see it as all what she's doing is pushing me away"

"I don't know if you know about it but Kurenai's mother died because of cancer. She know how much it hurts to see the one you love dying and that's why she pushed you away. She doesn't want you to go through what she went through. She loves you that much that she'll rather be unhappy for the rest of her life than to see you hurting because of her"

"and you? you also love her don't you?"

"I do"

"then why you want me to marry her?"

"because I want her to be happy. And happiness is the only thing that I can't give her. From the day you two broke up I haven't seen her truly smiling even once. I just want that smile back"

"and you think that I'm the one who will bring that smile back?"

"I don't think so. I know that" replied Asuma before a short pause went between the two "now back to the tuxedo, you have one?" he asked with a smirk

"…………….." Kakashi didn't replay as he kept his gaze on the floor

"I assume you don't. I would have give you mine but I'm larger than you so it won't fit you. C'mon let's go before the shop will close"

**The Present time **

_I'll never forget what Asuma did. He could have been happy with Kurenai but he gave that away for her. Just so she could be happy. And I really hope that I'll give that to her._

_Now it's all up to her again. My heart is pumping hard against my chest as she looks at me with her crimson eyes. She looks beautiful. But the smile is still missing. I can see that she's pretty shocked for seeing me instead of Asuma. Will she finally accept me? or will she push me away? I pull my hand towards her and wait for her to put her hand in mine. I'm getting more nervous with each passing second as I still wait for her to do something. I look at her and she looks at me and then….it was there…the smile that I missed so much. She finally smiled as a single tear made her way down her soft cheeks "…baka" she said softly with a slight chuckle and finally placed her hand in mine._

The ceremony finally took place and Anko was glad to see her dearest friend finally happy

"how did you do it?" asked Iruka who was standing next to Anko in a low tone

"do what?" asked Anko confused

"how did you get Kakashi here?"

"it's not me"

"if not you than who?"

"shhhhhhh" someone interrupted "I want to listen"

"oh shut u- Pakkun?" Anko looked surprised at the small dog who was sitting next to her leg

"are we late?" came Biscuit's voice

"no, they're still mumbling" replied Pakkun

"what are the two of you doing here?" asked Iruka

"I was going to ask the same thing?" added Anko

The two dogs looked up at the couple "duh, it's our master's wedding" said Pakkun

Biscuit nodded "aha, we just found out yesterday that he's getting marry"

"how come?" asked the snake mistress

"Asuma came to him yesterday and we happened to be in the same room when he told him that….what did he say?" asked Biscuit looking at Pakkun

"something like 'she loves you. You should marry her' or something like that. And you didn't hear that from me"

"I would have never expected it" said Anko looking around "by the way where is he?"

"I don't know" replied Iruka

"maybe he's outside. I'll go and look for him"

Anko made her way outside and after a couple of minutes she finally found Asuma not so far from where the ceremony was taking place. He was wearing his ninja outfit and looked like if he was going somewhere "Asuma" called the snake mistress catching his attention

"Anko? What are you doing here?"

"just looking for you"

"I never thought that I will ever see you in a dress"

"another word and you'll be dead"

"sorry"

"anyway…what you did was really nice"

"Kurenai deserves to be happy. Especially now"

"you're right. so what's now?"

"someone still has to go for the mission"

"you're not going to stay?"

"no…it'll hurt too much. At least for now. It'll be good for me to be away from the village for some time"

"from your outfit I can see that you're leaving now"

"yeah"

"you're not going to say goodbye to Kurenai? I'm sure that she'd like to talk to you after the ceremony"

"no, just…give her this" he replied handing to Anko a letter "and tell her that I'm really happy for her"

"I will"

At the chapel, the couple had exchanged their vows and finally had been announced as a husband and wife

"you may kiss the bride"

Kakashi smiled as he leaned in and gave Kurenai a long, and tender kiss

"…my….eternal rival….." mumbled Gai through his sobs "look Lee, their flames…..of youth are burning with love…..isn't that…beautiful?"

"yes Gai sensei"

"…..oh boss…you've grown up so much…." said Biscuit with tears in his eyes "Pakkun do you have a tissue?"

Pakkun looked dumbfounded at his fellow dog and sweat dropped at his comment "Biscuit. Shut up"

"ok"

"they're finally together" exclaimed Sakura happily

"whatever" muttered Sasuke "can we go now?"

"Sasuke" warned Sakura

Sasuke just sighed and rolled his eyes before he made his attention to Naruto who was sitting next to him "oi Naruto you idiot, wake up!"

Hinata looked at her boyfriend who was right next to her to find him sleeping mumbling something about ramen "Naruto kun?" she called softly shaking him a little to wake him up

"….ramen…..ramen with extra pork….ramen….vegetarian ramen…ahhhhh" and the future hokage finally woke up "oh, thanks god it was just a bad dream"

"Naruto kun, how could you fall asleep?"

"huh? It's already over?"

"yes"

"then let's go to Ichraku!!. I had a bad dream that he only served vegetarian ramen" he exclaimed and stood up "oh before that, let's just go and congratulate Kakashi sensei"

"ok" replied Hinata and the two made their way towards the happy couple.

"I still can't believe it" said Kurenai happily as she held Kakashi's hands in hers

"me either" replied Kakashi

"I'm sorry"

"for what?"

"I hurt you"

"forget about it. We're finally together and that's what matters"

"I love you"

"I love you too" he replied and leaned in for a kiss, but before their lips could meet Naruto interrupted

"yo Kakashi sensei!"

"oh, hi Naruto"

"congrats"

"thank you"

"Kurenai sensei you're finally smiling" said Hinata with a smile

"well, I have to say that it was a quite surprise to see Kakashi here" replied Kurenai

Naruto grinned "we were going to sabotage the wedding anyway, so it's good that he showed up"

"by the way, where's Asuma? I want to thank him" asked Kurenai

"he's gone" came Anko's voice

"what do you mean by gone?"

"he took the mission. He told me to tell you that he's really happy for you. And he gave me this for you" replied Anko handing to Kurenai the letter

Kurenai eyed the letter as she took it in her hand and opened it. There wasn't much written in it expect for _**'I told you you'll be happy' **_, the crimson eyes smiled and looked at Kakashi

"everything is ok?" he asked with concern

"…yeah" she replied smiling "I have something to tell you but not now. Let's celebrate"

* * *

Well, that's it guys. I hope you liked the chapter. Review. There're still gonna be just 2 or 3 more chapters till the end of this story. I won't be able to update as fast as I used to. But I'll try to update in the next 2 weeks. See ya!


	15. When Saying Goodbye Part one

Heya! Phew, I thought that I'll never finish writing this chapter, but here you have it. I hope you'll like it.

Be nice and after reading review ;)

* * *

_'Everything is going to be ok' that's what I've been saying to Kurenai over the past few months. That was actually what I've been saying to myself. I was surprised to hear that she was pregnant. At first I couldn't believe it. I didn't know how to feel about it. if I should be happy or not. Knowing that it'll shorten her life was hard for me to deal with. I know that I should be ashamed for asking her to make the abortion, it's my child after all….our child. Kurenai didn't want to hear about it. And I had to accept her will. I just can't even think about anything that will put her in danger…about anything that could take her away from me. _

It has been about 4 months since Kakashi's and Kurenai's wedding, and as the time passed Kurenai was getting weaker with each month. Tsunade was able to find a mixture of medicines that will help in decreasing the development rate of the tumor without affecting the baby. But unfortunately the medicine had some side effects on the crimson eyed kunoichi.

Kurenai was in the bathroom of her new house watching her reflection in the mirror. She had lost some weight and hair wasn't so thick as it used to be _"I think I'll look better if I'll cut it" _she thought to herself before she opened the drawer and took out the scissors. She paused for awhile as she watched herself again in the mirror and ran her hand through her hair's strands. Since she was a little girl she always had long hair and never even thought about how she would have looked with short hair so it was hard for her to just cut them. Giving a deep sigh she brought the scissors to her hair when she felt a sharp kick from the baby "you don't want your mommy to cut her hair?" she said smiling rubbing her belly "don't worry, I won't make it too short"

Kakashi had just returned from the grocery store and was in the kitchen packing the fridge. Tsunade has given him those months off and he had plenty of free time since he had no missions.

"good morning" greeted Kurenai as she entered the kitchen

"good mo…rning" replied Kakashi noticing that his wife was looking different from when he left her in the morning. Her long dark hair were no longer there, as now they were ending just above the shoulders "..you cut your hair?"

" ….you don't like it do you?"

"..no I just…I've always remembered you with long hair. You just look..different"

"better or worse?" she asked smirking

Kakashi smiled before replaying "beautiful as always" placing his hands on her waist he gently pulled her closer and placed a soft kiss on her lips "how are you feeling today?"

"good. The baby is just being too active today"

"a little soccer player huh?"

"we will see" replied Kurenai smiling before she felt another kick "ouch"

"you're ok?" asked Kakashi with concern backing away

"…y…yeah…it just another kick" she replied placing her hands on her belly before she looked up at Kakashi "you want to feel it?"

"feel what?"

"the baby"

"…no, it's ok"

"Kakashi"

"what?"

"from what are you so afraid of?"

"me?"

"yeah, you"

"nothing, why are you asking?"

"because you haven't touched my belly at all. You don't want this baby?"

"Kurenai how can you say that. You know that I love both of you"

"then what is it?"

"it's just….I…..I don't want anything bad to happen to you"

"baka" chuckled Kurenai "come here" she said taking his hand

"are you sure about that? I mean…I don't want to hurt the baby"

"Kakashi you won't hurt the baby. From where did you come up with something so stupid?"

"are you calling me stupid?"

"no, how could I? You're the great copy ninja" she said sarcastically

"Kurenai"

Kurenai just giggled before gently placing Kakashi's hand on her belly "can you feel it?"

"I don't feel any- oh it kicked!" he said excitedly before he felt another kick "it did it again!"

"there you go daddy. See, nothing bad happened"

_It was really the first time when it finally came to me that I'm going to be a father. It was a strange feeling but I felt happy. Happy to see the sparkles in Kurenai's crimson eyes. And the beautiful smile of hers each time the baby kicked._

"daddy….I'm starting to like this word" he said smirking before giving her a tender kiss. As they kissed, Kakashi could feel that something was wrong with Kurenai as her consciousness began to wane. He quickly broke the kiss and strengthened his grip around her to keep her on her feet

"Kurenai?"

"….I'm…..I'm fine" she replied after awhile "I just felt a little dizzy"

Kakashi gently took Kurenai to the living room and placed her on the couch "I'll call lady Tsunade"

"don't bother her. I'm fine"

"but you almost fainted"

Kurenai smirked "your kiss still makes my knees go weak"

"that's not funny Kurenai"

"I'm fine Kakashi, I just need some rest that's all"

"I'm going to talk to her anyway"

Later in the afternoon, Tsunade was in her office scanning some researches that she got just a couple of days ago from Suna. She was so concentrated on studying the papers that she didn't notice Jiraiya jumping in through the window

"yo" greeted the toad sage "what are you so interested in?"

The hokage looked up from the papers "these are some new researches from Suna about patients with cancer"

"anything interesting?"

"there's a clinical trial based on some new techniques that they've developed. Unfortunately I think it'll not help in Kurenai's case"

"why?"

"due to the position of the tumor it's almost impossible to operate this way. Not to mention the fact that she's pregnant. Besides, from the results it looks like this technique is just another failed attempt as all of the patients that went through the trial are all dead"

"but there's still hope for her right?"

"I can only count on my technique" replied Tsunade with a sigh before she heard a knock on the door "come in"

"good afternoon Tsunade sama" greeted Kakashi "I hope you're not busy"

"no, please have a seat"

Kakashi nodded and came to sit on the chair in the front of the hokage's desk

"I have to do my research. I have to come up with something really good since I lost my biggest fan of my bestseller" said Jiraiya as he glanced at the silver haired jonin

Kakashi smiled under his mask "you still have a lot of fans out there, so don't worry"

_Yup, that was true. I lost my interest in reading Icha Icha. If I knew that I'll get 4000 RYO for selling the whole series that I had I'd have done that a long time ago….come to think of it, Jiraiya must be rich._

"well, time for me to go. See ya around. Oh and before I forget" said the sage as he stood up and made his attention to the blonde "Tsuna, lend me 1000 RYO"

_Or maybe not._

"excuse me?"

"you know..I need some money for my research"

"you old perve-" Tsunade began in an angry tone but as soon as Jiraiya saw the expression that she had he quickly disappeared in a puff of smoke

"idiot" she muttered before returning her attention to Kakashi "so how's Kurenai?"

"that's why I came here"

"did something happened?"

"the medication….it really worn her out"

"I know Kakashi, that's how it works"

"but she almost fainted today"

"it's probably because of the medication"

"maybe you should change it"

"I don't see a reason for that"

"it's not making her feel any better!"

"I didn't say that it'll make her feel better"

"then do something about it!!"

"what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know! you tell me! aren't you supposed to be the great medical ninja of all nations?"

"I'm working my ass hard to help Kurenai as much as I can, but my hands are tied! When the time will come I'll perform the surgery. But now there's nothing I can do so calm down!"

"…….I'm sorry"

"Kakashi, you also have to be prepared for the worst. You know that if the surgery will not be a success she will die right?"

"she will not die" he replied with his gaze to the floor

"Kaka-"

"No!" he interrupted lifting his gaze up "she will not die…..Not now….Not this way…" he finished and stood up to his feet

Tsunade sighed as she watched the silver haired jonin walking towards the door "Kakashi" she called as he placed his hand on the knob

Kakashi barely looked over his shoulder and just glanced at the blonde without saying anything as he waited her to speak

"no matter how much I would like to promise you that everything will go just fine I can't. But know that I'm doing my best to help Kurenai. And I'll use all the knowledge that I have so the surgery will go just as I expect"

Kakashi stayed silent as he watched the wooden door in the front of him. After awhile he finally opened the door and turned to face the hokage and spoke with a small smile under his mask "thank you Tsunade sama"

**One week later**

It was late afternoon, and the sun started to set on the horizon. It was the beginning of the spring and all the snow began to melt revealing the new life that the spring brought with it. Kurenai was watching from the window in her bedroom, enjoying the breeze that stroke her face. She wasn't feeling very well that day but she didn't say anything to Kakashi as she didn't want to worry him. She was feeling pretty dizzy so she thought that a fresh breeze from the window will make her feel better. And it did for a couple of minutes before she felt a sharp pain in her head. She felt her knees going weak so she placed her hands on the windowsill for support. But the pain kept on getting stronger and she began to feel that she's losing consciousness. It was when Kakashi entered the room and immediately noticed that there was something going on with Kurenai.

"Kurenai?" he asked worriedly as he quickly get closer to her "honey, you're ok?"

Kurenai only get a chance to get a look at Kakashi who already held her close to him and finally lost her consciousness.

Kakashi immediately took Kurenai to the hospital and now was waiting in the hall with Anko while both Tsunade and Shizune were checking up on her. Anko was sitting on the bench while Kakashi was nervously walking here and there waiting for anyone who will tell him some good news.

"will you stop that?" asked Anko a little annoyed but got no answer "can you PLEASE stop walking here and there. It makes me feel dizzy" she added, raising her voice this time but again got no answer "KAKASHI!!"

Anko's loud tone woke Kakashi from his thoughts "huh? you said something?" he asked finally stopping in one place

"calm down"

"I'm calm"

"no you're not. Sit"

"I hope everything is ok"

"I'm sur-" Anko began just to be interrupted by Tsunade who had just gotten out from Kurenai's room

Kakashi quickly turned his attention to the hokage and anxiously waited for the her to speak. Her expression didn't say too much but he could see that whatever the news were, they weren't for sure anything good.

Tsunade gave a small sigh before she spoke "it's doesn't look good"

"what do you mean?" asked Anko, standing up from the bench where she was sitting

"the tumor have grown too big and if I want to save her I have to operate before the tumor will cause any damage to the brain"

The words stroke Kakashi like a lightening, he knew that sooner or later it'll come to this, but now that it was already happening he found himself unable to do anything. Was he ready to face the consequences of the surgery? "..b..but..what about the baby?" he asked

"c-section" Tsunade replied simply

"but isn't this too soon?" asked Anko "I mean, she's only about 6 months pregnant?"

"the baby should be fine"

"should be?"

"Anko, I can't risk to postpone the surgery any longer"

Anko sighed as she slumped into the bench "too bad that she couldn't try this clinical trial in Suna"

"what clinical trial?" asked Kakashi confused, as he didn't know anything about it

"Tsunade sama didn't tell you?"

"no" replied Kakashi changing his attention the hokage "what is she talking about? Why I didn't know anything about it?"

"Kakashi" Tsunade began in a calm tone "I didn't tell you because it won't help Kurenai"

"and how do you know? Mayb-"

"I think I know better than you do. I already talked to Kurenai. I'll operate tomorrow morning. Kakashi you can stay with Kurenai tonight. As for you Anko, you can visit her now and come tomorrow"

"but I want to stay!" protested the snake mistress

"don't argue with me Anko. Now excuse me I have to prepare myself for tomorrow" finished the blonde before going out

Kakashi quickly made his way towards Kurenai's room. As soon as he opened the door he found Kurenai sitting in the bed that was placed near the window.

Kurenai smiled as she saw Kakashi "hey there" she said softly as the copy ninja entered inside and came to sit by the side of her bed

"hey" replied Kakashi lowering his mask down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead "how are you feeling?"

"good……a little afraid though"

"don't be..I'm here" replied Kakashi taking her hand in his "everything is going to be ok" he added receiving a small smile form her

Anko stood at the door and watched the two realizing that there's no place for her right now "my dad always said that three is a crowd"

Kurenai looked up to see her old, good friend standing with a smile on her face "oh, hey Anko, you're here?"

Anko's jaw dropped _"she just noticed!!!???"_

"come and sit"

"I just came to say goodnight. Unfortunately Tsunade kicked me out from here. I'll come tomorrow"

"ok"

"well then, see ya" said Anko kissing her friend's cheek "goodnight"

"goodnight" replied Kurenai, and with that, the snake mistress disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Kurenai returned her gaze to Kakashi. They stayed silent for awhile as they both gazed into each other's eyes "you know what" Kurenai began breaking the silence

"what?"

"every day I wake up I'm thanking god for you. You have given me so much. You are here for me. And I feel safe to be with you. It's like……like if god had sent to you because I was sick. To help me go through this……you're my angel Kakashi"

"you are my angel" replied Kakashi smiling noticing that Kurenai's eyes became wet

"I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life….. My love for you is undying"

Kakashi already knew what Kurenai was going to say "Kurenai stop"

"…….know that I will always love you…..and that I'll always be with you in your heart……even if I'll-"

"I don't want to hear it"

"..Kakashi.."

"don't talk to me like if you were going to die"

"…but tomorrow…."

"don't think about it. Tomorrow you will have the surgery. And you'll live. Me, you….and the baby. We'll all be happy" he finished cupping her cheek in his hand.

Kurenai gave a weary smile before Kakashi leaned in and took her lips in a loving embrace.

_**Next day in the morning **_

Everything was ready for the surgery and Tsunade made her way towards Kurenai's room. She knocked on the door before entering "good morning Kurenai. Kakashi" she greeted

"good morning" the two replied in unison

"are you ready Kurenai?"

"not yet. I want to see Anko first"

"I'm here" came a voice from behind

Kurenai looked up to see her friend entering along with her student Hinata "oh hey there"

"good morning sensei" greeted Hinata politely, holding a bouquet of flowers in her hands "this is from our team"

"thank you, they're beautiful" replied Kurenai smiling as she received the bouquet "Kakashi, can you put them in a vase?"

Kakashi took over the flowers "sure" he said as he stood up to place the bouquet on the drawer that was located oppositely to Kurenai's bed. Then he returned his attention to Tsunade before he spoke "Tsunade sama, can I talk to you for a second?"

Tsunade was a bit surprised about the fact that Kakashi wanted to talk to her and was wondering about what could it be. Probably it was something concerning Kurenai's surgery or about the clinical trial in Suna as Kakashi spent the last night just asking question about it "sure" replied the blonde "come with me" she added and walked outside followed by Kakashi.

" so how're Kiba and Shino doing?" asked Kurenai making her attention to her student

"as usual"

"you mean that Shino is always sulking about Kiba killing his bugs that made a new home in Akamaru?"

"exactly"

"I've missed the trainings with you guys" replied Kurenai sighing

"once you'll be all healthy again you'll be able to train with them as much as you like" said Anko cheerfully "if you'll get some free time of course with my nephew in the way"

Kurenai raised her eyebrow "nephew?"

"or niece" added the snake mistress with a smile before a nurse entered the room

"excuse me but I need to prepare Kurenai san for the surgery"

"it looks like it's time for us two to go" said Anko "we'll be waiting for you after the surgery mommy ok?"

"Anko….if something will happened to me…I want you to take care of my team ok?"

"sensei don't say that. Everything will be ok"

"Hinata is right. Just be positive"

"ahem" the nurse interrupted

"ok ok. Jeez" said Anko annoyed by the nurse "see ya"

"bye sensei"

"bye"

Both Anko and Hinata got out from the room closing the door behind them leaving Kurenai alone with the nurse. After the nurse was done, Kurenai was ready for the surgery and was waiting for Tsunade to show up. A couple of minutes later the hokage came along with Kakashi "reday?" she asked

"yeah" replied Kurenai softly "Tsunade sama?"

"yes Kurenai?"

"I want to sign DNR"

"Kurenai I think we talked about it" said Kakashi as he came to sit on the edge of the bed

"and I think I made myself clear"

"but-"

"Kakashi" interrupted Tsunade "Kurenai, are you sure you want to do it?"

"I'm sure" replied Kurenai

"well….maybe you would like to say something to Kakashi before we'll start. I'll be back in 10 minutes" spoke Tsunade befpre leaving the two alone.

Kurenai looked at Kakashi and smiled. She was afraid. But she didn't want to show it to him, or to anyone else. The surgery will decide whether she'll live or die which she was completely aware of. Now there was only one thing left "……Kakashi…."

_As soon as I saw her expression I knew that she was going to say goodbye. Then it hit me that the next couple of hours may took my love away. Somewhere I'll not be able to bring her back. But hope is still there. And I believe that everything will turn out well._

There was a long pause between the two. Neither of them said anything as Kakashi was avoiding Kurenai's gaze and he was the one who broke the silence

"don't sign the DNR" he said looking to the ground

"and why not?" she asked calmly

The jonin gently lifted his gaze to meet hers. There was a short pause between the two and their faces were just a inches away "I don't want to lose you" he replied softly

"Kakashi…." she began placing her hand on his cheek "I don't want to lose you either……but…I'm tired. I've been fighting this disease for about three years. If anything will happen during the surg-"

"you'll not die"

"you've changed my life Kakashi Hatake. You made it better. You made it brighter and more joyful. And if I'll die-"

"you'll not die"

"but if-"

"you'll not die Kurenai. You'll not die because I'm not done loving you" he said while resting his forehead on hers "I love you"

Tears escaped Kurenai's eyes and made their way down her cheeks. They weren't tears of sadness though, but tears of happiness as she felt very lucky and blessed to have someone like Kakashi besides her. She felt complete. And even if her life were about to end, she knew that she'll die happy "thank you" she whispered softly

A knock on the door broke the moment between the two. They backed away, their hands still tightly locked as Tsunade and Shizune entered the room "it's time Kurenai san" said Shizune

"first I'd like to explain how the surgery would look like" Tsunade began "Kurenai you'll be conscious through the whole surgery. First will be the c-section. I don't want to get into the details but after that I'll start to pump my chakra into the tumor. The whole process may take about 5 hours. Shizune will assist me through the whole procedure"

Shizune nodded " and you don't have to worry about anything"

"Kakashi if you'll excuse us now, but we need to start" said Tsunade

"hai" nodded Kakashi before returning his attention to Kurenai "I'll see you after"

_Letting go of her hand was the hardest thing to do. I think I was more afraid than she was. Everything happened so fast. It was like just yesterday we shared our first kiss. And now….in just about a few hours it'll be known if I'll lose her or not…..in just about few hours I'll become a father….but am I ready?. Time will show I guess. I watched as they took her to the OR and waited outside along with Anko, but I was too nervous to notice her presence. I only waited for Tsunade or anyone else to get out from the OR._

It has been about 2 hours since Kurenai entered the OR. Like Tsunade had said Kurenai was all the time conscious while Tsunade worked on the tumor. They have kept talking to her as they wanted to be sure that the brain is being intact and that there's no damage happening

"have you thought about a name for your daughter?" asked Shizune

Kurenai smiled "I want Kakashi to chose a name" she replied "she's so beautiful. Do you know if he saw her or not?"

"not yet. She is a premature, so we placed her in the incubator. She will lay there for some time" replied Shizune

"but doesn't that means that he saw her when you took her out from here?"

"we have another door from the back"

"that's just mean"

"we don't want to scare him from now. You know being a father is a hard job"

"……I..guess so" replied Kurenai softly with a small smile

Another hour passed, but this time Tsunade and the others had a hard time as Kurenai lost her consciousness and her pulse continued to fall down. Tsunade got lost in her thought as her hands were tied because Kurenai had signed DNR and she couldn't do anything _"Kami..what should I do? I can't let her die" _

"asystole"

Outside, Kakashi and Anko still waited for someone to come out. The two were sitting on the bench when finally Tsunade came out.

Kakashi immediately stood up and asked "how's Kurenai?"

Tsunade stayed silent for awhile as she looked to the ground "…..I'm sorry Kakashi.."

* * *

Well, that's it for this chapter. It looks that Kurenai died (or maybe not?). How will Kakashi take it? You'll find out in the next chapter. It'll be awhile before I'll update again, but be patience. The next one is going to be kinda long as it's going to be the last one. _**Review**_ please ^_^

BTW early Marry Christmas everyone :)


	16. When Saying Goodbye Part two End

Ok guys, here you have it. The last chapter of 'When Saying Goodbye'. Leave a lot of reviews!. Let me know what you think about it.

* * *

Kurenai's pulse continued to fall down. Tsunade got lost in her thought as her hands were tied because Kurenai had signed DNR and she couldn't do anything _"Kami..what should I do? I can't let her die"_

"asystole"

Shizune glanced at Tsunade who seemed to be in deep thoughts "Tsunade sama? what should we do?"

"nothing" replied one of the assisting medical nin "she signed DNR. I guess the only thing left is to announce her death"

All the ninjas looked at the hokage who was still lost in her thoughts. It'll be one her word either if they'll respect Kurenai's wish and let the nature take its' course and let her die or to try to bring her back "Tsuande sama?"

_**~Flashback~ **_

_"Tsunade sama, can I talk to you for a second?" _

_"sure. Come with me" _

_Tsunade was wondering about what Kakashi wanted to talk about. As they reached her office, she took a seat by her desk and looked up at the silver haired jonin in the front of her "I'm listening"_

_"it's about Kurenai"_

_"yes"_

_"….she would probably want to sign the DNR…and….."_

_"and what?"_

_"….I just have one favor to ask?"_

_"which is?"_

_"ignore it"_

_Tsunade was taken back by Kakashi's request "I can't. If she'll sign the DNR I-"_

_"just ignore it. Please…….I…I just love her so much….I don't want to lose her"_

_**~End of flashback~ **_

"Tsunade sama?"

Tsuande finally shook out from her thoughts "administer 10 mg of adrenaline and begin CPR now!"

"but she-"

"ignore it!"

Outside, Kakashi and Anko were still waiting for someone to come out. The two were sitting on the bench when finally Tsunade came out.

Kakashi immediately stood up and asked "how's Kurenai?"

Tsunade stayed silent for awhile as she looked to the ground "…..I'm sorry Kakashi.."

"what do you mean you're sorry? How's Kurenai? What happened?" asked Kakashi with evident fear in his voice. His heart reached his throat and he could feel his heart's beat increasing with every second Tsunade stayed silent.

The blonde gave a deep sigh and looked up at the two jonins "I'm sorry, but the surgery didn't work"

_"…….n..no" _Kakashi was shocked by what he heard as a storm of emotions ran through him and he could feel his chest tightening around his heart. He couldn't breathe. Nor say anything as his mind just shut down. He even didn't notice that he began slightly shaking. His throat hurt as he tried to fight his tears _"..no..that can't be true…she didn't…."_

"you….you mean..that…" Anko began in a trembling tone with wet eyes "that Kurenai is…."

"she's still alive but she doesn't have much life left…She's not gonna make it"

These news shocked the purple haired kunoichi and the tears found their way down her cheeks "is……is there's anything….that you can do..to help her?"

"I'm sorry Anko, I did everything that I coul-"

Kakashi couldn't hold his emotions anymore and burst out with a mixture of rage and despair while clenching his fists "DON'T! just don't…say..anything"

"Kakashi I-"

"I SAID DON'T! WEREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO SAVE HER?!"

Tsunade looked to the ground ashamed. Kakashi was right, she was supposed to save her. She had made a promise to her that she'll find a cure. But apparently this was a promise that she couldn't keep. She failed as a medical ninja. And she failed as a hokage.

"you don't have anything to say?"

"…………"

"just as I thought. What kind of h-"

"that's enough!" Kakashi went too far…that was what Anko thought. It wasn't the time to place the blame, or to insult one another. If what the hokage said was true..that Kurenai will not make it. The kunoichi wanted to spend that time with her. With her only friend that she came to know since the academy days "I apologize for him hokage sama. I know that you made all that you can to help Kurenai"

"it's ok Anko" replied the hokage softly "and about your bab-"

"I want to see Kurenai" interrupted Kakashi

"she's asleep right know. Maybe you'd like to-"

"no. I want to see Kurenai"

"………..room 205"

Without saying anything Kakashi turned around and began to walk down the hall towards Kurenai's room. When he was about to reach the corner he heard Tsunade calling from behind but he didn't stop.

Tsunade got a little pissed by Kakashi's action "just in case you were wondering…" she said in annoyed tone "it's a girl"

Kakashi finally stopped, but just for a little while before he continued his pace towards his wife's room.

_A girl…….it was a girl. My daughter. However I couldn't be happy. I couldn't knowing that Kurenai will die. And I came to believe that it was actually the baby's fault. Couz if not for her, something like that would have never happened to Kurenai…or at least…she would have had nice couple of months in front of her. Not a week……Not days. And deep inside myself…I hated her….I hated her for being the cause of Kurenai's current state. I know that it's bad…bad to say such things about your own child. But I can't help it. I just can't…..How I wished if it was just a bad dream. A bad dream that will end the moment you'll wake up. But it wasn't. Why does all my important people die? Why she? Does it really over? Is there's anything I can do to save her?. _

Kakashi finally made it to Kurenai's room. He stayed still for awhile eyeing the wooden door in the front of him. Giving a heavy sigh he opened the door and entered inside. Just like the hokage said she was sleeping. Her skin was pale and she looked very weak which only made him hurt even more. The continuous peeping of the machine was signifying that her heart was still beating. But for how long? Kakashi grabbed a chair and brought it near Kurenai's bed. He came to sit and gently took her hand in his waiting for her to wake up.

About 4 hours later, Kurenai finally woke up _"……I..I'm still…alive?" _she thought to herself as she slowly opened her eyes. She slowly moved her head to see Kakashi sitting next to her holding her hand. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts as he didn't notice that she woke up. It took Kurenai awhile before she collected all her thoughts and finally managed to speak "….h...have you…seen..her?"

Kurenai's weak tone shook Kakashi out form his thoughts. He quickly lifted his head up and looked at her "..Kurenai?"

"have you…seen….our daughter?" she asked smiling

"…..no" he replied softly returning his gaze to the floor

"you have to….." she said softly with the smile still on her face "…she's so..beautiful. I only held her for a minute before they took her away…..if you just could see her……she's so tiny"

Kakashi didn't say anything and stayed silent not lifting his gaze away from the floor. Kurenai could feel that there was something wrong with him. She could see the sadness on his face even though he wasn't looking at her and already knew what did it mean. She gave a small sigh and looked at the ceiling "….it didn't work…did it?"

Kakashi just strengthened his grip around her hand without saying anything. That was enough answer for Kurenai. But if the surgery didn't work, wasn't she supposed to be already dead especially that she signed DNR? After thinking for some time she finally figured it out that Kakashi for sure had something to do with it. She knew him too well and she was sure that he must had convinced the hokage to ignore her request which made her a little angry "..why did you do this?"

Kakashi lifted his head up and looked at her with confusion as at first he didn't catch up about what she was talking about

"why don't you just….let me die?"

"…..Kurenai…"

"stop hurting yourself Kakashi. Just accept it…..accept the fact that I-"

"no! I'll never give up on you Kurenai"

"but-"

"there's still hope. I'm taking you to Suna"

"…Suna?"

"there's a clinical trial there. They'll cure you and-"

"Kakashi don't you understand?"

Kakashi then stood up, slowly letting go of her hand "don't worry. I'll take care of everything" he added giving her a soft kiss on her forehead before he made his way towards the door where he met with Anko who apparently came to visit Kurenai "stay with her while I'm gone"

"where are you going?" Anko asked confused as the silver haired jonin passed her

"I'm going to get a permission to go to Suna" he replied before he got out from her sight.

It has been couple of hours since Kakashi left to get the permission and he still didn't come back. Anko stayed the whole time with Kurenai along with Hinata. She already said goodbye to rest of her team but there was still Hinata, Anko and of course Kakashi.

Anko knew that Kurenai and Hinata were very close. They weren't just a teacher and a student but more like two sisters. And she knew the conversation between them won't be easy on both of them, so she decided to leave them alone and step aside for awhile "I have to go to the bathroom" she said and got out from the room.

The girl already knew what was her sensei going to say "I'm not saying goodbye" she said wiping her tears away from her eyes

Kurenai just smiled and said softly "you've grown up so much Hinata. You become stronger. More confident….."

"…..it's all thanks to you sensei. You guided me through all this years and showed how to be strong. You showed me the meaning of courage and how to not be ashamed of myself"

"me…or Naruto?" asked Kurenai smirking causing the Hyuuga heiress to blush "I'm happy that you finally found the courage to tell him how do you feel"

"that's also thanks to you"

"are you happy with him?"

"uhm" nodded the girl with a shed of pink on her cheeks "a lot"

"I really wish to you a lot of happiness together"

"thank you sensei"

"I've been thinking about what should I tell you…and I finally came up with something….. Gracious, always be gracious and proud….Cherish everything that you have in life….Don't regret anything…..and live….live every moment to the fullest"

Hinata looked to the ground as she felt her eyes going wet again and tears began to fall down her cheeks

Kurenai gave a small sigh and kept her gaze on the young kunoichi "Hinata…don't cry…I don't want you to cry"

Those words weren't enough for Hinata to stop crying and instead she began to sob softly

"Hinata, I want you to be strong…..I need you to be strong for my little angel…You know…you're her bigger sister…you'll have to take care of her ok?"

Hinata merely nodded as more sobs filled the room.

"….I'm happy that I had the chance to be a part of team 8, and I'm proud that people could call me your sensei…..And don't worry about your father. Someday he'll see for himself how great you are" she said before her own eyes became wet, but she managed somehow to hold her tears as a small smile came across her face "you're a kind and a good girl Hinata……I hope that my girl will grow up to be just like you"

There was so many things that Hinata wanted to say but she couldn't as she continued to sob softly "…..t…thank..y…you" was the only thing that she managed to mumble between her sobs.

"I wonder…..what Anko is doing for so long in the bathroom?" thought out loud the crimson eyed kunoichi changing the subject "can you call her in?"

It took awhile for Hinata to respond as she tried to calm herself. She nodded and wiped away the tears from her cheeks and went to call Anko who wasn't so far away as she was sitting on the bench in the hall outside.

Anko stayed with Kurenai for the rest of the afternoon. It was already evening and Kakashi were nowhere to be found. Kurenai gave a heavy sigh as she watched the ceiling of her hospital room. The warm rays of the setting sun entered through the window and gently hugged her pale face.

Anko stayed tough. Well, at least she tried to in the front of her friend. Kurenai looked at the snake mistress from the corner of her eye to see that she was looking at her as well "…what?"

Anko thought for awhile before replaying "are you afraid?"

"to die?"

Anko looked to the ground and nodded. There was a short pause between the two while Kurenai thought about her answer "no" she replied softly after awhile "I'm not afraid to die……but…..I'm afraid that I'll die before saying goodbye to him" she finished with tears in her eyes that didn't went unnoticed by her friend

"I'll look for him"

"no..Anko…I…I want you..to do something for me"

"what is it?"

"I know that I should've done that….some time ago….but…you know..I didn't know if it was going to be a boy or a girl"

"I don't understand"

"I want you to write letters to my daughter….letters that she will read in special occasions…like graduating….her wedding day…..I know that I should write them myself….but I'm too weak…and….Kakashi….."

"what's with him?"

"….let's just say that you're tougher than him……can you do that for me?"

"……..sure"

"thank you…Anko"

It took them some time to finish the letters. Finally after about 2 hours they did

"..d…do you think it's ok?....to talk to her from the grave…..on the happiest days of her life? Kurenai asked in a low tone. She got confused when she got no replay until she heard soft sobs coming from Anko "…Anko?"

Although Anko tried her best to be strong she couldn't hold herself anymore and tears began to fall down her cheeks "I…I think that s…she'll appreciate…every…single..word" she choked out between her sobs

"…..Anko…"

Meanwhile, Kakashi was looking for Tsunade as he finally got the permission from Suna's hospital to join Kurenai to the clinical trial. Now he only needed the permission from Tsunade to transfer Kurenai there. He knew that Tsuabde will probably argue with him about this, but he was going to get it no matter what.

After a couple of minutes of searching he finally found the blonde "Tsuande sama" he called Tsunade turned around to see the silver haired jonin walking in her direction. It was about time as she wanted to talk to him about his decision about taking Kurenai to Suna "Kakashi, what are you doing?"

"Tsunade sama, I just need your permission to take Kurenai to Suna"

"no"

"don't make it difficult for me. I'm going to get her out of here anyway"

"Instead of wasting your time running around, use this time to be with her"

"the permission"

"the trial won't help her"

"you don't know that!"

"Kakashi"

"No! I'll not lose her you hear me!"

"Kakashi listen-"

"it'll take about 3 days to reach Suna"

_"doesn't he understand?!"_ thought the blonde as she was getting pretty annoyed by Kakashi's persistence

"if we will leave now we will-"

Finally the hokage couldn't hold herself anymore and she had to burst out what she had to say "you're talking about days! She doesn't even have hours!"

Kakashi suddenly shut up and kept quite not wanting to believe what he just heard

Tsunade sighed and clamed herself before continuing "Kakashi, no matter how tough Kurenai can seem to be. No matter how many times she will tell you that she's not afraid to die, I know that she is. And what she needs now is not some failure clinical trial. Not some stupid tests and doctors running around her but you. She needs YOU. So don't turn your back on her when she needs you the most"

That wasn't what Kakashi wanted to hear. He wanted to believe that there was still hope for Kurenai. But reality said something else. And although it hurt him he had to admit that Tsunade was right. Feeling his eyes going wet he looked to the ground and didn't say anything.

"she's waiting for you"

Anko was still with Kurenai when they heard a knock on the door

"..c..com in" called Anko wiping her tears away

As soon as Kurenai saw the silver strands of Kakashi's hair a big smile came across her face "…..my silver haired prince…" she said softly

"I'll leave the two of you alone" Anko said giving a small smile to Kurenai before she stood to her feet and got out from the room closing the door behind her.

Kakashi slowly made his way towards the bed and came to sit on the chair with his gaze to the ground

"….cheer up…a little…." Kurenai said softly but with no respond from Kakashi as he still kept his gaze on the floor "we're not going to Suna….are we?" she asked with a small sigh

Kakashi just shook his head no and didn't say anything as he tried to fight his tears

"that's better….." she replied with a small sigh "…have you thought…about a name for our daughter?"

Kakashi lifted his head up and looked at Kurenai "a name?"

"…yeah….everybody is asking me….about her name….and I keep telling them…that you'll choose the name"

"why won't you just choose a name?"

"…..because….I'm not the one…who's going to raise her" replied Kurenai in a sad tone "…I wish I had some more time…..to spend with all of you…"

Kurenai's words hurt Kakashi and his eyes began going wet as she continued "but I know….that you are going to be a great father…..and I'm sure that you'll take…good care of her…"

Kakashi couldn't hold himself anymore and tears began to fall down his cheeks "….I'm no good..without you Kurenai…."

"Kakashi…"

"if there is anything good in me…it's because of you….I….I don't know what I'm going to do without you?"

"……I'll always be with you Kakashi….in your heart….you'll always find me there" she replied with a small smile on her face before she slowly reached the necklace on her neck that she got from Kakashi. The one with the butterfly . With the rest of her strength she wrapped it off and held it in her hand "….I never…took it off……I..want you..to keep it with you……" she said handing the necklace over to Kakashi "….and..one more thing….."

Kakashi eyed the necklace in his hand for awhile with tears still slowly streaming down his face, before he wrapped it around his neck and covered under his shirt "…what is it?" he asked returning his attention to Kurenai

"….you do…love me….right?

"of course I do"

"…will you do….something for me?"

"anything"

Kakashi watched confused as Kurenai began to took out the IV's and all the things attached to her "take me home"

"..but-"

"please…you know how I hate hospitals"

Kakashi thought for awhile if he should really take Kurenai home. It wasn't a good idea but how he could deny her last request? "….hai" wiping his tears away, he stood up, gently lifted her up in his arms and took her home.

"thank you" Kurenai whispered in Kakashi's ear as he gently laid her down in her bed and he himself came to lay next to her. Tightly wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her closer to him and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead

"….I love you…Kakashi Hatake" she said with a smile as she rested her head on his chest

"….I love you too" he replied with tears still streaming down his cheeks

There was a silence between the two for some while as they laid in their bed hugging each other's tight until Kurenai broke it "….number one"

"…what?" Kakashi asked confused as he looked down at Kurenai

Kurenau looked up to face Kakashi's face and replied with a smile "….number one on my 'to do' list……..die in your arms"

_1000 jutsu….I have copied over 1000 jutsu but nothing that will help her….nothing that will keep her alive. And that was it. It was the last time when I held her in my arms. The last time when I felt her warmth..her lips…her love. I watched her breathing for the last time. Heard her heart making its last beats….until it stopped. Killing me with it as well._

_The pain is unbearable and I'm alone again. It's nothing new in my miserable life but this time…..this time it just hurt too much. Even sake doesn't make it better…it only takes my sanity away for awhile before the reality comes again crushing what's left of me. Bringing more pain…and nothing else…..just nothing._

Hinata gave a heavy sigh as she sat on the bench in the park while the setting sun hugged everything with a palette of warm colors from yellow to crimson. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the wind running through her dark long hair when she heard the voice of her love calling from behind

"here you are" called Naruto as he came to sit next to Hinata

Hinata slowly opened her eyes and looked at her boyfriend "hey" she called in a rather depressed tone which Naruto quickly noticed

"what's wrong Hinata chan?" he asked with concern

"nothing. I'm just worried about Kakashi sensei. He's not talking to anyone since Kurenai sensei died. He spends all the day at her grave without moving even for an inch. I've never seen him so depressed before"

"he's just having a hard time dealing with her death. It has been only two weeks, perhaps he needs more time"

"maybe you're right but…."

"but what?"

"that doesn't give him the right to neglect his daughter"

"what do you mean?"

"he didn't come to visit her…even for once. And I'm sure that if-"

"Hinata!" Hinata was cut off by Sakura who came running through the park "I'm glad that I've found you. You have to come to the hospital and talk to Tsunade sama, maybe you will be able to change her decision"

* * *

"you can't do that!!" yelled Hinata after learning what was Tsunade up to

"that's not up to you to decide. I'm going to talk to Kakashi first" replied the hokage

"no I don't agree"

"I don't agree either" added Naruto

"perhaps it'll be better for her" said Ino who also was in the office receiving a sharp look from Naruto, Hinata and Sakura

"how can you say that Ino?!" asked Sakura

"with no offence to your sensei but to tell you the truth he doesn't give a damn about his daughter"

"be careful how you choose words Ino" said Tsunade

"but that's true" replied the Yamanaka girl "he's not asking about her. I haven't seen him visiting her at all…god, she doesn't even have a name"

Everybody was silent as it seemed that everything Ino said was actually true. Kakashi haven't been in the hospital since he took Kurenai home before she died. The only place you could find the silver haired jonin was the graveyard, mourning over his late wife or in his house pouring his sadness in bottles of sake.

A knock on the door caught everyone's attention "come in" called the hokage and to everyone's surprise it was no other than Kakashi Hatake

"you finally remembered that you have a daughter?" muttered Ino in a low tone

"leave us alone. I want to talk to Kakashi in private" said Tsunade

The four youngsters hesitated for awhile but in the end they nodded and got out from the office, they wouldn't have won with Tsunade anyway but they thought that eavesdropping would not hurt, and so they did.

Tsunade glanced at the copy ninja in the front of her, or on what have left of him. He was silent with his gaze to the floor and hands in his pocket "I send for you about a week ago. Why you didn't come?" she asked but got no replay "I see…..well, since you finally came I'll tell you why I want to talk to you. It's about your daughter"

It took Kakashi awhile before he responded, he finally lifted his head up and looked at the blonde "….h..how's she?" he asked carelessly

"Kakashi…your daughter is not breathing on her own. I hoped that in time she will start but till now there has been no progress"

Kakashi already knew what was Tsunade heading to "if she wants to be with her mother I will not stop her. Do what you have to do" he replied coldly and went towards the door just to be stopped by Hinata

"how can you say that!" the Hyuuga heiress growled angrily "she's your daughter! Kurenai's sensei's daughter! She wanted her so much! She was so happy to have her! Doesn't any of this matter to you?!"

Kakashi just looked blankly at Hinata and didn't replay before he disappeared in a puff of smoke. He went home and started searching the kitchen for some sake but found none. He remembered leaving a bottle in his bedroom so he left the kitchen and went upstairs. As he walked through the hall he stopped and looked at the door to his left. He stood like that glued to the floor for awhile. He didn't want to go inside but something inside of him pushed him to that room and without noticing he found himself opening the door and entering inside. It was the baby's room. The walls were yellow colored and there was a small white crib in the corner. The room was filled with babies stuff and was ready to welcome the newborn.

_**~Flashback~ **_

_Kakashi was holding Kurenai in his arms bridal style as he stepped inside their new house _

_"it's pretty big" exclaimed Kurenai as she watched the house "I didn't know that you're so rich Mr. Hatake"_

_"do you like it?" he asked _

_"are you kidding? I love it"_

_"wait until you see the rest of the house"_

_Kurenai saw most of the house and there was only one room left "and this room is..??" she asked as soon as she entered inside _

_"just another room. We can make it a guest room if you like"_

_"no" _

_"why?"_

_"it's going to be the baby's room" she said with a big smile on her face _

_"b..baby's room??"_

_"Kakashi…I'm pregnant" _

* * *

_"What's this?" asked Kurenai _

_"that? That is paint for the room upstairs. Since it's going to be the baby's room we have to change the color of the walls" said Kakashi _

_"I thought about the same thing. But that's blue"_

_"so?"_

_"how do you know that it's going to be a boy?"_

_"it's not about having a boy or a girl. I just like blue color. Besides how do you know that it's not going to be a boy?"_

_"just take it back. I already bought some paint for the room"_

_"pink?"_

_"of course not. Lavender"_

_"Lavender? How do you know that's it's going to be a girl?"_

_"and how do you know that it's not going to be a girl?"_

_"what will we do if we'll paint everything in pink and it'll turn out to be a boy?"_

_"Lavender Kakashi not pink. But you know that you're actually right"_

_"it's decided then. Blue"_

_"no! we have to choose something universal, that will fit for a boy or a girl"_

_"blue will fit both of them"_

_"I'm an artist here Kakashi so I'll choose the color…hmm…we'll make it yellow"_

* * *

_Kurenai gently placed Kakashi's hand on her belly "can you feel it?"_

_"I don't feel any- oh it kicked!......it did it again!"_

_"there you go daddy. See, nothing bad happened"_

_"daddy….I'm starting to like this word" _

* * *

_"…have you thought…about a name for our daughter?"_

_"a name?"_

_"…yeah….everybody is asking me….about her name….and I keep telling them…that you'll choose the name"_

_"why won't you just choose a name?"_

_"…..because….I'm not the one…who's going to raise her…I wish to have some more time…..to spend with all of you…but I know….that you are going to be a great father…..and I'm sure that you'll take…good care of her…"_

* * *

_"she's your daughter! Kurenai's sensei's daughter! She wanted her so much! She was so happy to have her! Doesn't any of this matter to you?!"_

_**~End of flashback~ **_

_I realized that I haven't seen my daughter. Yes. It was my daughter. My child. My own blood ran through her veins. And I was her father. No matter what happened I was her father. I started to think about how she looked like. The tone of her skin. The shape of her nose. The color of her eyes. Is she similar to me or to Kurenai? Then I realized something else….I realized that I'm not alone. I still had a purpose in my life. But did I realize this too late?_

"Hinata please" said Tsunade as she tried to enter the little girls room

"no!" replied Hinata with determination "Kurenai sensei entrusted me with this little girl. I'll not let you do this!"

"Hinata, the girl is not breathing on her own. She's only alive because of the machines that are supporting her"

"I don't care!"

"Hinat-"

"WAIT!" came a voice from behind

Both Tsunade and Hinata turned around to see a panting Kakashi by the end of the hall

"don't do this…..I didn't mean what I said earlier. But don't take her away from me…..she's the only one that I got"

"thanks god" Hinata sighed with relief

"I need a break" muttered Tsunade while rubbing her head "but I'm glad that you changed your mind"

"can I see her?"

"sure"

_She was so tiny. I could barely see her from the tubes and needles that were covering all her tiny body. I felt so bad for neglecting her. For thinking that she was the cause of Kurenai's death. And I really hated myself for that._

Kakashi glanced over the crib where his little girl was laying. He looked around the room and found a chair that he brought next to the baby's crib and came to sit before his eyes became filled with tears

"I'm sorry…..I'm so sorry…" he began in a cracked tone with tears streaming down his cheeks "please forgive me….I haven't been a good father….but I'll change that….I'll make sure that you'll have everything you'll need…..I know that I'll never be able to replace your mother….no one ever will….and I can't promise you that I'll be an excellent father….but I'll try…and I'll do my best to be a good one….juts….don't leave me….I love you little one……don't leave me alone…."

Kakashi spent the all night talking to his little angel. He was so tired that he even didn't noticed that he fell asleep. Feeling the morning's warm sunrays on his face he began to stir and slowly opened his eyes. His heart fell to the ground when he didn't find his daughter in the crib. Thinking about the worst he quickly stood up and took a quick look around the room _"she's not here" _he thought and quickly ran to the door and got outside

"whoa! Why's the hurry?"

Kakashi looked to his right to see the hokage "where is she?!" he asked in a panic tone

"right here"

Kakashi looked down to see that the blonde was holding a baby in her arms wrapped in a pink blanket "she finally started breathing on her own. You looked tired so we didn't want to wake you up. We bathed her and if everything will go well, in a couple of days she'll be ready to go home" she replied smiling "here, hold your girl" she finished handing the girl to the copy ninja

A warm feeling filled Kakashi. A feeling of happiness as he held his little girl in his arms "…hey there…" he said smiling as he watched the girl sleeping

"what would you name her?" asked Tsunade

Kakashi was so overwhelmed by everything that he didn't hear what the hokage just said, he barely lifted his gaze up from his angel and looked at the blonde "huh?"

"her name? have you thought about her name?"

Kakashi returned his gaze to the girl and thought for awhile before replaying with a small smile "….Kurenai. Her name is Kurenai"

**6 years later **

_Slowly days turned into weeks. Weeks into months. Months into years. Now 6 years after I sit at my desk writing my thoughts about the past. What I've learned? I've learned how does it feel to be alone. How does it feels to be hurt….lost…found…complete and happy....but above all, I've learned how does it feel to love, and be loved in return. __Kurenai saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope, love and the long journey ahead that everyone have to take not necessary alone. Kurenai's death had a great impact on my life. The first few months were really hard on me but fortunately I have my little angel besides me….Little Kurenai…I'm so happy to have her. I know that if not for her I would have probably never gone through Kurenai's loss. She looks exactly like her mother. The same crimson eyes. The same dark hair. A little artist. I'll be having a hard time once she will grow up and boys will start to look after her. She did inherit my laziness though which can be a real pain sometimes but I love her anyway. I have to admit that I spoil her too much….the whole village dose, but how you can say no to that cute face?._

Kakashi put the pen down and looked at the pictures that was placed on his desk. One was for his late wife and the other for his little girl. That was when a butterfly flew through the window and perched on the picture's frame _"interesting"_

_A butterfly….There is a Japanese legend that says that when a butterfly enter your room, the person whom you love the most comes to visit you….I wonder if that's really true. Who knows? _

Kakashi smiled to himself as he watched the butterfly spreading his red wings before it flew out from the window. Coming out from his thoughts he looked at the watch to see that it was 4:30 already _"time to get Kurenai from the academy"_

"but uncle Iruka!!" the little crimson eyed girl bemoaned as she stood by the blackboard in the empty classroom

"inside the academy I'm your sensei Kurenai"

"that's not fair. Everybody is already out. Why I have to be here?"

"should I remind you what did you do?"

"I don't remember anything" she said innocently

"nice try. Now back to your writing"

"ugh"

Kakashi finally arrived at the academy and was waiting for Kurenai outside. But as the schoolyard became empty he started to wonder where is his daughter? _"she must be still inside" _he thought and headed towards the class

"I will never use a genjutsu against my classmate" he read with a chuckle what his daughter was writing

Kurenai quickly turned around after hearing her father's voice "daddy!!" she called happily and ran towards her father. She jumped on him and wrapped her arms around his neck "I've missed you" she said as sweetly and innocently as she could while hugging her father tight

"what did you do Kurenai?"

"nothing" she replied releasing her hug

Kakashi gave his daughter a suspicious look as he placed her down on the ground "oh really?"

"look, he deserved it!" the girl defended

Kakashi looked at Iruka wanting some explanations

"she cast a genjjutsu on her classmate" explained Iruka

"I already know that but why?"

"I don't know, ask her"

Both men looked at the little kunoichi to be "what? He pulled my hair" she replied

"is that why you used a genjutsu against him?" asked Iruka

"aunt Anko told me to beat anyone who's bothering me"

Kakashi sighed "Kurenai, don't listen to everything that aunt Anko is telling you. Don't do this again ok?"

"ok daddy. I'm sorry" she replied before changing her attention towards Iruka "uncle Iruka, do I really have to finish writing this? I promise that I'll never do it again"

Iruka thought for awhile before replaying "ok, you can go home"

"yes!"

At home, as Kakashi was preparing dinner, he heard his little girl calling from the living room "daddy look what I've found!"

Kakashi got out from the kitchen and glanced at the girl to see that she was holding a photo album "where did you find it?"

"it was placed between the books in the bookshelf. Let's watch it together" she said as she came to sit on the couch along with her father "that's you and mummy" she said smiling as she watched the first page of the album "you haven't change a lot"

"how do you think I'm old? That was only six years ago"

"really?"

"yeah. It was your mother's birthday"

"and what did you give her?

"I brought her Tora. Oh here she is" he said pointing at the next picture of Kurenai with Tora

"ohh she was so small and cute….mommy was very beautiful"

"yeah she was" replied Kakashi before noticing that his girl for some reason went sad "what is it?"

The girl sighed "you have so many pictures with her…..but I don't have even one"

"that's not true" he replied creating a confused look on his girl's face "there is one for the two of you"

"really?"

Kakashi took the album from the girl and flipped through the pages until he reached the picture he wanted "here"

The girl watched the photo with disappointment "that's only mommy"

"you're also here"

"where?"

"in her belly" he replied with a smile

A small smile came across the girl's face "I was tiny"

"very tiny" replied Kakashi before he glanced at another picture of him with Kurenai. He got lost in his thoughts as he remembered that day that he spent with her

_**~Flashback~ **_

_The sun was starting to set on the horizon and the couple were still laying on the blanket gazing the clouds on the now red sky. Kurenai rested her head on Kakashi's chest and wrapped her arms around him firmly _

_"have you ever heard about the Ai bridge?" Kurenai asked softly _

_"Ai bridge?"_

_"it's in the Bird country" _

_"no I haven't" _

_"there's a small village in the Bird country that has a wide valley where a river flows. High above that river is built the Ai bridge. The villagers have a very interesting and romantic custom" _

_"really? And what's their custom?" _

_"if a boy loves a girl and wants to prove his love for her. He must to stand on that bridge and jump into that river" _

_"well that's sounds easy" _

_"not for everyone. As I said before that bridge is built very high above the river and you can easily kill yourself"_

_"then someday we'll have to go to the Bird country" _

_Kurenai looked up at Kakashi "what for?" she asked _

_"so I would jump and prove my love for you" he replied smiling _

_"and get yourself killed? No way. Besides, you don't have to prove anything Kakashi"_

_Kakashi just chuckled before replaying "I know you want me to jump" _

_"no I don't" replied Kurenai as she came to sit on the blanket _

_"then why did you tell me that story?"_

_"it just came to my mind that's all"_

_"just admit it, you want me to jump" replied Kakashi grinning _

_"I do admit that it would have been nice if someone would do that for me, but……"_

_"but what?" asked Kakashi as he also came to sit _

_"I love you too much to let you do something like that" replied Kurenai smiling _

_Kakashi smiled back and leaned in for a long soft kiss "it's decided then" he said after breaking the kiss _

_"what's decided?" asked Kurenai confused_

_"one day I'll jump for you from that bridge" _

_"Kakashi" _

_"and it's a promise" _

_**~End of flashback~ **_

_"I have never jumped for you……" _he thought as he eyed the picture before the voice of his girl shook him out from his thoughts

"daddy"

"hum?"

"what are you thinking about?"

"can you take a short holiday from the academy?"

"like that's up to me. But a month off would be nice"

"well, it's only going to be a week, even less"

"why? Are we going somewhere?"

"we're going to see the Bird country"

"can Tora go with us?"

"sure"

"Pakkun and Biscuit too?"

"if you'll want to play with them I'll just summon them ok?"

"hmm..ok"

After a couple of days the two finally arrived at the Bird country and they went to see the Ai bridge. It looked exactly like Kurenai described although to Kakashi it wasn't that high

"what's this?" asked the girl curiously as she and her father walked over the bridge

"this is the Ai bridge"

"Ai bridge?"

"your mother told me about this place. People here have a custom that when a boy wants to prove his love for a girl he have to jump from this bridge"

"that's cool"

"I've promised her that someday I'll jump"

"and did you do that?"

"no…I didn't get a chance" he replied looking over at the river. He got lost in his thoughts as the wind ruffled his silver hair until an idea stroke his head

Little Kurenai looked at her father with a confused look as he begun to undress himself "what are you doing daddy? Are you going to swim?"

"I'm going to jump"

The girl's eyes widened and she ran to the edge of the bridge to see the interval between it and the river "but it's so high!"

"no it's not" replied the copy ninja as he finished undressing himself and was left only with a pair of pants, and with the silver necklace with the butterfly that Kurenai gave him wrapped around his neck

"but what if something bad will happen to you?!"

Kakashi kneeled down to the girl's level "nothing bad will happen to me, besides have you forgot that your dad is a ninja?"

"the best in the world but….."

"don't worry Kurenai, I have to keep my promise right?"

"right!"

"that's my girl" he replied before kissing her cheek. After that he took off the necklace and placed it in her hand "hold this for me. I don't want to lose it so keep it tight and don't let go"

"ok daddy"

Kakashi smiled and raised to his full height before he slowly marched towards the edge of the bridge

"wait!" called the girl "I'll wait for you down the bridge. Don't jump until I'll tell you so. Let's go Tora" she finished quickly and ran along with the black lab down to the river.

Kakashi smiled and waited until the girl reached the shore of the river below the bridge

"OK DADDY, YOU CAN JUMP NOW!!!!" she yelled

"_I hope you're also watching Kurenai"_ he thought to himself as he stood at the edge _"….this jump is for you"_

The girl watched in amazement as her father made a perfect dive into the river. She looked around her and found a flower that she picked it up as Kakashi swum to shore and got out

"that was awesome!!"

"thanks" replied Kakashi as he came to sit on the grass

"this is for you daddy" she said smiling handing the flower over to Kakashi "daddy?"

"yes Kurenai?"

"that jump was for mommy right?"

"yeah"

"how will she know that you jumped? She's not here"

"she is here"

"really??!! Where?!!" she asked looking around

Kakashi smiled as he came to face the girl "right here" he said pointing at the girl's heart "in our hearts. And she'll always stay there"

_I will always miss Kurenai. There is no day that will pass without me thinking about her. If people are stolen from us, the best way to have them live on is by remembering them. A lot of people are asking me why I don't want to start a new life with someone else? Fall in love again and find a mother to my little Kurenai. The answer is simple, it's because I'm still in love with my late wife. Just because someone isn't there doesn't mean we ever stop loving them. There is a place in me where her fingertips still rest, and her kisses still lingers. It's the place in my heart where a part of her will forever be a part of me. I'm not bitter anymore because I know that what we had was real....I've cried my eyes out…the way she loved me vanished all the tears. I'll always remember how we spent the summer beneath the tress, loving each other, learning the true meaning of being alive. Now I'm facing the years knowing one thing; that death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delayed for awhile, until we will meet once again._

**The End **

* * *

Well that's it folks. Liked the story? I'm sorry if you're disappointed in the ending, but don't worry, in the next story I'll kill Kakashi (JUST KIDDING). Anyhow, I want to thank everyone who reviewed the story. It's your reviews that keep me on writing. Expect something new from me pretty soon. See ya guys *hugs* Marry Christmas and happy new year!


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